


Shield Crested in Evil

by earthphoenix (roughknuckles)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Animagus, Blood Magic, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Bottom Severus, Dark Magic, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Multiple Orgasms, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Parseltongue, Past Child Abuse, Possession, Potions, Scars, Sex Magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-01-26
Updated: 2007-01-26
Packaged: 2018-02-10 14:03:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 48,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2027784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roughknuckles/pseuds/earthphoenix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What makes up a wizard, is the magic within them. Harry (despite Voldemort's influence) is a good wizard, while Snape is a dark wizard. So it is, during Harry's 5th year while the dark lord tries to invade Harry's mind and subconscious thought, Snape helps to purge Harry of his darkness.</p><p>Implied Voldemort/Severus. Harry (mildly possessed by Voldemort)/Severus.</p><p>(incomplete plot/story arc)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Harry wasn't going to skip potions. He'd already found out how much after missing class due to illness or injury in the past that Snape's in-class interrogations after he returned were worse than anything Harry could actually suffer from in bed. He also knew that if he dragged himself up to the hospital wing in this state (Ron already said he looked green as a Slytherin scarf), Pomprey would try to keep him there, so Potter dragged himself into the potions lab on a bleak Thursday afternoon, slumping down in his desk with dull eyes.  
  
When class began, Professor Snape cast a quick, but critical eye over Harry, "Mind your own business Miss Granger." He said in warning as she tried to tell Potter what to do, how to take care of himself properly.  
  
Harry just sighed, slumped forward over the desk, even his hair looked worse than usual. He'd hoped by now, already his fifth year that it would have stopped sticking up in the back the way it did, but no luck. After a sigh, Harry rubbed his eyes and looked up, dull-eyed at his least favorite professor.  
  
Severus taught class as usual, things went rather smoothly with Harry so visibly out of action and not giving him any cheek. Several times Professor Snape had to warn Harry’s peers from bothering the nearly comatose Potter, "Let him be" he would snap.  
  
Harry blinked behind his glasses, staying otherwise very, very, very still. He felt like any movement in any direction would result in his cauldron being used as an upchuck receptacle. _Ugh, don't even think about ... ugh ..._ His stomach felt like iron, like twisting, rotting iron full of acid and Potter blinked again, "What?"  
  
Professor Snape pushed Harry’s shoulder back into his chair, making the boy sit upright. In his other hand he had a thin vial with a potion layered in orange and bubbles. "Mr Potter?!" Severus raised his voice to make sure Harry was listening to him, the classroom was now empty.  
  
"What!? I was paying attention ..." Harry's eyes closed and he slumped back in his chair, exhausted, "Murtlap, properties of murtlap ..." Harry kept writing on his parchment.  
  
"Class is over." Snape informed the young man. "Tilt your head back." He spoke it as any other direction he might have in class, making it seem reasonable (or unreasonable) as any other thing he would ask of Harry.  
  
Harry blinked at Snape, "What? No, why? I just got here ..." Harry stood up for a second and sat back down again, heavily.  
  
"Sit down boy." Severus demanded, his hand on Harry’s shoulder, keeping him seated and presenting the vial to him as he explained, "Now drink this before you pass out again."  
  
"I'm going to throw up ..." Harry muttered, turning his head away from the vile-smelling potion.  
  
"You won’t, actually … no matter how much you might want to." Snape still offered the potion. "Drink it."  
  
Harry sighed and took it, holding his breath as he downed the potion and started coughing madly.  
  
Normally Severus would have scolded Harry for consuming something if had no idea of its contents, but at this time, decided against it, almost taking it a faith – but the notion soon slipped his mind, Harry didn't trust him any further then he could throw his potion’s professor. "Tilt your head back." He demanded again.  
  
Harry made a face and tilted his head back, irritable, "Why?"  
  
Severus raised his hand to the side of Harry’s face, but not actually touching him, and yet just closed enough for it to be warm, "Keep your eyes open." He said as he evaluated Harry’s condition.  
  
Harry looked up, his green eyes dimmed to a dull, muddy olive color. "I'm fine ..."  
  
"You lie to disguises your own ignorance Potter." Snape unfortunately found what he was looking for, a thin circle of red and purple just around Harry’s irises. "Dabbling in the dark arts, have you? You perhaps thought to defeat evil with evil?"  
  
Harry glared, "What are you talking about?" His vision blurred a little.  
  
"Tell me Potter. Your body betrays you. You have been attempting dark magic … in the last three days for there only to be signs of it now."  
  
"I ... haven't been doing ANY dark ..." his eyes rolled back for a moment.  
  
Severus swiftly gathered Harry up into his arms, carrying him with a grunt into his office after kicking the door open. Laying the Gryffindor out on his couch, Severus propped his head up with a pillow he used on those nights he just stayed in his office late hours, and was too tired to pull himself down to the dungeons to sleep in his chambers.  
  
Harry opened his eyes again, confused, "What just happened?"  
  
"You passed out, again." Snape had his back to Harry as he unsealed the many incantations on his private storage cabinet.  
  
"Shit ..." Harry rubbed his forehead, which hurt as though it were coming apart at his scar.  
  
"I have noticed it happening with more frequency … so there is no time for you to try to conceal anything in hopes to keep out of trouble. What dark magic have you been preoccupied with recently?"  
  
"Nothing! Nothing I swear, I haven't ..." Harry swallowed, looking at his hand, which was smeared with black. "What's ... am I ... bleeding?" Something that looked like tar was seeping from the red edges of the lightening bolt mark on his forehead.  
  
Severus turned to look, then rushed to Harry’s side pulling the young man by the collar of his shirt to sit upright, again having him tip his head back, but this time forcing his head back against the couch rather then simply asking him to. Though even now, Severus did not dare touch Harry’s skin, he pulled a Hogwarts crested handkerchief from his vest pocket and touched it to Harry’s head, both trying to wipe the substance away, and to gather a sample of it.  
  
The ooze kept coming, leaking down Harry's temple, over his cheekbone. He'd never seen Snape look scared except the night Remus transformed in front of them in third year, "What's ... what ... I didn't do any dark magic ..."  
  
"Have you handled any dark objects? Extensive contact with any dark wizards? I must know the truth Harry."  
  
"Not that I know of ..." the ooze leaked under Harry's shirt collar, "do you count?" He half joked.  
  
"Yes." Severus said irritably, undoing Harry’s tie and the buttons of his shirt without the Gryffindor’s consent.  
  
Harry just breathed, looking up at Snape, "I've been dreaming, you've been in them ..."  
  
Severus was caught off guard by this, "Dreams?" He asked after a moment’s hesitation, peeling Harry’s shirt off his body.  
  
Harry coughed again, his jugular standing out in his neck, going suddenly dark, "Dreams ..." he shut his eyes, "but you're ... younger ..." he sounded confused. The black started to seep back now into Harry's equally black hair.  
  
Severus reasoned that Harry was in the process of both purging the dark magic from his pure body, the body that Lily’s love was even to this day trying to protect, but also trying to embrace the dark magic, into his soul where a little of the Dark Lord was tucked away in secret. He would have to get it out of Harry’s body, he would have to take the dark magic into a body accustomed to it, a body that would embrace it; his own body. But to do that meant … Severus watched Harry carefully, wagering if he should give the young man a choice, or force him. "Tell me more."  
  
"I don't ... maybe my age?" Harry's teeth started chattering, "you're ... no, a little older ..."  
  
Severus touched his warm hand to Harry’s skin for the first time on his chest, just above his heart, fingers along his collar bone, "What am I doing?"  
  
Harry gasped, his chest rising a little, eyes closing behind his thin glasses, "Kneeling, showing your arm ..."  
  
"To you?"  
  
Harry nodded, shivering, "Yes ... and ... you look ... not happy but ... intensely ..."  
  
"Tell me." Severus continued to coax, his other hand going to Harry’s belt, undoing it without a sound, not giving the Gryffindor a choice in the matter, not knowing what had happened until his skilled hand was already pushed into Harry’s pants.  
  
"In awe ... and ... shaking and you ... won't look away from me ..." he hummed low in his throat, hips rising, almost feverish.  
  
"Do I speak? Do _you_?"  
  
"No," he moaned, "but you ... move closer and ... reach up ..."  
  
Severus pulled the head of Harry’s prick out from under the fabric of his pants, stroking him expertly until he got what he expected, black pre-cum. Severus moved between Harry’s legs, kneeling on the floor while the young man sat on the couch, "And?" he prompted.  
  
Harry gasped, surprised, "And you ... oh god, this is what ... why are you ... this is just like my ... oh-"  
  
Snape did not bother with embarrassing questions, regarding if Harry had done this before. He was a young, popular, attractive man, surely he had opportunities for both boys and girls to give him head, if not more. Not wanting to think about who came before him, Severus did what was necessary and took Harry into his mouth while his hand tightened against the base of his cock, holding him in place while he began to suck at him, drinking the darkness into his own body.  
  
Harry moaned, shaking, his thigh moving aside as the professor started to suck at him, taking him inside his surprisingly warm, soft, capable mouth, "Ohhh-" he groaned, writhing on the couch, "profess ... oh, what are you ... why are ... ohfuck ..." Harry swore, fisting the side of the couch and letting his hips start to rise, a tear streaking down his temple.  
  
Severus hooked his other arm around the small of Harry’s back, holding him around his waist as he sucked the Gryffindor expertly, lapping at his cock, pushing it up against the roof of his mouth, moaning around him to give a pleasing vibrating feeling.  
  
"Professor ... S ... " Harry gasped, looking down and moaning deeply, "why ... why are ..." he finally just groaned and slid his fingers into Severus's hair, clutching at the oily strands softly, starting to thrust in slow, easy strokes as the boy panted on the couch.  
  
Severus buried his head in Harry’s lap, eyes down as he sucked the young man off. His shoulders shifted and neck arched slightly as Harry touched him, he had not expected the comforting gesture. But the dark wizard could not let himself become too distracted as he work nonverbal spells over in his mind, drawing out whatever dark magic he might have unintentionally put into the boy in the first place.  
  
Harry stroked the back of Severus's neck, pushing his long hair out of Snape's sharp face as he pumped himself into Severus's mouth over and over again, gasping wordlessly at the sight of him, the feeling of his deft tongue over the head of his cock. "Severus ..." Harry moaned his first name.  
  
Severus gasped wetly around Harry’s cock at the familiar term; he would have to be more intimidating it seemed if in this semi-conscious state Harry would call him by his first name so naturally. To him, it meant that it was something Harry often thought about. He pressed his hand against the inside of Harry’s thigh, then curled one lone finger under his hanging balls, caressing the sensitive skin.  
  
Harry moaned, "Ahhh ..." he nodded, head hanging back limply as his hips started to thrust harder, more urgently, "Ahhh ... gods, your tongue is ... so ... fuck, yes, want you, want you, want you ... going to come ..." he almost sobbed.  
  
Pressing his knuckle up against the underside of Harry’s cock, strangling the throbbing vein, Severus welcomed back what was his to take, drinking and swallowing Harry and the dark magic that had been festering within him.  
  
Harry cried out loudly, hips arching and shaking as he spilled into Severus's mouth, his muscles aching and burning. "Ah ... Ahhh ... ahhh-!"  
  
Severus held Harry securely, not wanting to waste his efforts by losing a drop as he swallowing Harry’s dark orgasm, and his own eyes became that much more black for the effort.  
  
Harry panted, swallowing gulps of air and looking down at Snape with a moan, stirring the potions master's hair with his own fingers, "Mmm ..."  
  
Severus pulled his mouth away with a gasp, licking the corner of his lips, finally looking up at Harry. "How do you feel?" he asked calmly.  
  
Harry moaned quietly, " I ... um ... surprised," he murmured, looking down at his professor and sitting up, touching his face. Harry's eyes already looked better, greener, "You?"  
  
"Hm." Severus reserved his comment until he was sure he could see a sign for himself that Harry’s health was improving. "I feel fine." He felt a little more then fine, he had rather enjoyed that.  
  
Harry nodded and leaned closer, planting a very soft, barely there kiss against Severus's cheek and winding his long, quidditch-strong arms around Snape's neck, holding their bodies close.  
  
"How long have you been feeling unwell?"  
  
"Since I woke up," Harry sighed, kissing Severus's skin again, pushing his now messy dark hair back.  
  
Severus pulled his head back a little uncomfortably at Harry’s continued affection. "And the dreams, how long have they been?"  
  
Harry let his head rest against Severus's shoulder, closing his eyes, "A week."  
  
"Always the same?"  
  
Harry's cheeks colored a little, "Yeah ... sometimes it's ... I'm the one on my knees."  
  
That, Severus tossed up to Harry’s curiosity, and not having any real significance. "I shall write you a note to excuse your lateness to your next class. After dinner however, I want you to come back here, tell your friends you have detention if you must, but I wish to make sure you are still well."  
  
Harry nodded, perplexed, "I should ... go now?" He flushed, feeling foolish, idiotic even.  
  
"You still have classes, do you not?"  
  
Part of him wondered what the note would say, exactly. _Please excuse Harry as I was sucking him off and made him late for Divination_. "Y ... yeah. Yeah."  
  
Professor Snape eyed Harry, pulling himself out of the young man’s arms, going to his desk, "Am I addressing this to Trelawny?"  
  
Harry swallowed and pulled his trousers up, buttoning them, feeling like he was now talking to his doctor, "Yeah ..."  
  
Severus wrote a quick and effective note to excuse Harry, signing and sealing it, he walked back around his desk and waited for Harry to dress before he handed the Gryffindor the note.  
  
Harry finished doing up his tie before he paused and took the note, "Um, thanks?" He didn't look at Snape, just turned and walked to the door, letting himself out.

 

*            *            *

 

"Hiya Harry-!" Neville said when Harry sat down to dinner in the noisy great hall.  
  
Harry blinked and looked at the round boy, "Oh, hey ..." he nodded absently, "how're you?" He sipped some ginger-ale slowly, looking completely distracted.  
  
"Alright … Hermione says you’re not feeling well, you ok?"  
  
Harry took another careful sip, "Feeling a little weird today, weird day ... very weird day today. You?"  
  
"Yeah … I herd." The awkward boy leaned forward across the table. "What happened in potions? You get into trouble?"  
  
Harry jumped a little, blinking, "Got kept after ... that's all. Did Snape seem weird today?"  
  
Seamus Finnigan turned his conversation to Harry as well, "I felt horrible Harry, Snape wouldn't let anyone touch you, and it was obvious you were just getting more and more sick!"  
  
Neville was looking up at the head table, at Snape eating his meal quietly with minimal conversation on his part with the other members of staff. "No more then usual Harry." He answered after thinking back.  
  
Harry took a quick look at Snape, "Has he ever, you know, asked either of you to stay after?"  
  
"Only a minute or two to yell at me, or give me extra assignments" Neville confessed.  
  
"Nah, I trying to lay low with him, you know? I figure, if he forgets I’m there, I won’t get into trouble."  
  
"Do you know of anyone else he asks to stay after?" Harry looked over at Draco with a glare, "Slytherins maybe?"  
  
Neville just shrugged, eating a chicken wing, "I dunno, maybe."  
  
Harry sighed, his face flushing again, "Probably Malfoy ..." He took a cracker from his dish and tried to eat it fast but his stomach rebelled and he had to take a long drink of ginger-ale again. Harry's eyes wandered to professor Dumbledore at the head table, looking at him until the headmaster looked back with a questioning glance. Harry sighed and stood, "See you guys around, going to head to bed I think."  
  
"'Right Harry, feel better!" His friends wished him well.  
  
Harry wished Ron and Hermione weren't so busy making out all the time these days, he was confused, conflicted, and ninety percent sure that any moment now, he'd just wake up. The pale looking boy wandered the halls for a while before he found that his feet took him back to Professor Snape's office.  
  
A little after Harry made his escape from the great hall, Professor Snape excused himself from the head table. He had an appointment with Harry after all.

  
*               *               *

  
Harry was sitting on the floor, back against the heavy door to Snape's office, head in his hands.  
  
"Evening." Severus said smoothly, "You did not seem capable of eating much this evening" he noted, clearly not oblivious to Harry’s condition, "still not well?"  
  
Harry stood, sighing and fixing Snape with a no-nonsense look. "We have to talk about ..." he looked around, "what happened."  
  
"Very well." Severus said casually as he removed the securities on his door, opening it for Harry to enter into his office after him.  
  
Harry walked in as confidently as he could, "What ... " he closed the door himself, "what was all that about, exactly?"  
  
Snape was oddly patient with Harry, "You have been consumed, tainted by dark magic recently. You told me you have been doing no dark spells, which I took to be true. And you told me you have not handled any dark objects, which I also took to be true." Severus had believed Harry, took what he said on faith, which was more then he did for most others, "Which left only one possibility. There was- _is_ an influence in your life, a person of dark magic which has been affecting you. So in the time given to us, I took back the dark magic that was making you ill."  
  
Harry sat on the couch, weakly, but his temper flared, "Do you take back a lot of dark magic these days?"  
  
Severus turned his head very slowly as if he were moving in slow motion, his dark gaze was dangerously penetrating, "Excuse me?" he said darkly, "Be sure you mean what you say before you let such accusations fly."  
  
"Well it's a fair question I think, or would you rather I asked Dumbledore?"  
  
Severus shook his head slightly with a breathless laugh, "That is an empty threat Harry. How I conduct myself is my business, and not to be traded to teenage gossip."  
  
"You knew, you knew I had these ... bloody dreams about you, you ... did what you did and then sent me off with a NOTE!"  
  
Severus waited, "You have quite an imagination on you Harry. I know nothing of your dreams except for what you told me. I did what I did because it was necessary, your body was cracking at the seams trying to purge the darkness from you, and I took it from you the only way I could manage at the time."  
  
Harry glared, "Yeah? So now what?" he looked paler, even waxy on the couch. "Just pretend that never happened?"  
  
"If that is your wish. As it is, you are still ill and in need of purging."  
  
Harry shook his head, "Look, I'm sorry, I can't just pack that away in my mind and pretend you just put leeches on me or something!" But he started coughing.  
  
"Put leeches on you?" Severus said with some amusement as he approached, "and have little demonic creatures roam the earth? Amusing, but quite irresponsible." He stood before Harry, looking down at him.  
  
"Irresponsible?" Harry snapped, coughing, "Try taking advantage of a student with an idiotic crush!"  
  
"You’re wrong Harry." Snape said simply, "But you can report me in an hour if you still believe it, after I take what is tearing you apart." He moved over the young man on the couch, hand to the back of his neck, holding him still as he forced a kiss upon him.  
  
Harry struggled, trying to push Severus away, groping for his own wand.  
  
But the potions professor, well versed in the dark arts hardly needed a wand in his defense as he pinned Harry’s hands down behind his head by the wrists. Kissing him hard, drawing out the darkness that was making the young man so angry.  
  
Harry thrashed and fought, shaking his head but after a moment, he stilled and gave in to the kiss, moaning softly as Snape invaded his mouth.  
  
Severus was drinking from Harry’s mouth, moaning as he sucked on Harry’s tongue, letting their saliva mix like a sweet brewed potion.   
  
Harry moaned again, if he could have, he would have wound his arms around Snape, pulling him closer as their mouths warred softly. He couldn't move his arms, so the young man just arched his neck, meeting Severus more than half way, stroking his own tongue against the roof of Severus's mouth.  
  
Snape leaned his weight against one arm that pinned Harry’s wrists, just to be sure the boy would not fight back, as his other hand moved down Harry’s body, pushing up his shirt, caressing away the butterflies in his stomach.   
  
Harry relaxed and one of his legs bent, thigh resting against Severus's hip. Harry was never upset that Snape had touched him like that, it was the abrupt, cold dismissal afterwards that had hurt the strange, sensitive boy.  
  
"Mmm-" Severus groaned, pulling his head back just enough to torment Harry, not giving him what he now wanted, "Still angry?" he prompted.  
  
Harry panted, looking up at him, almost glaring, "Yes ..." he murmured, licking his lips, arching his back as Severus stroked his flat, smooth stomach.  
  
"Good- then I’ll be taking alot of it from you this evening." Severus promised, pushing Harry’s shirt up completely, pulling it over his head, back to his wrists, knotting and twisting them together.  
  
Harry groaned, "Severus ..." he tugged a little at the makeshift bonds around his wrists, knowing the swell in his trousers was more than painfully obvious, "please ..."  
  
" _Severus_ am I, again?" Snape glared as he undid Harry, pushing his pants down only as far as his knees where he still straddled Harry.  
  
He moaned again, watching and letting his hips arch even higher, "Yes ..." he half growled, "whether you like it or not ..."  
  
Severus smirked as he hiked his heavy robes up, his were more traditional in the sense that it was one long piece of fabric, from high collar to the floor. His bare thighs spread over Harry’s body as he positioned himself over the young man, uttering a charm that slickened his hand which he wiped over Harry’s cock.  
  
Harry gasped hard at the sudden cool slick feeling over his prick and shuddered, "You're going to ... godsSeverus ... I've never ..."  
  
"No?" Severus paused, "You prefer another way?"  
  
"NO ... no, no, no ..."  
  
"Very well then." Severus continued to stroke Harry, he was making it easy for Harry, which was not something he did for just anyone.  
  
Harry looked up at him, drunk on the feeling, the anticipation that Severus was touching him this way, speaking to him in the most perfect, rich tones. "Kiss me ..." Harry asked, tilting his face up, arms still trapped in the binds of his white shirt around his wrists.  
  
Snape’s knees were pressed into the couch as he leaned forward, kissing Harry, taking what he could, careful not to give his own darkness in turn. It was a good distraction tactic at least, with his hand back between their legs, making sure Harry was hard enough as he sat down carefully, impaling himself, taking Harry into his body, careful not to corrupt it.  
  
Harry GASPED against Severus's lips as he felt Severus slide himself down around his cock. His hands clutched in the white shirt and he moaned deeply, pressing up inside of him very slowly, knocked breathless as he was squeezed on all four sides, "Oh ..."  
  
"Mmm-" Severus began to grind his hips down as he settled, satisfied by the feeling. His hands were fisted into the couch, arms locked straight as he held himself up, putting the most minimal amount of pressure on Harry as he could manage.  
  
"Ahh- Severus," he moaned, shaking finely, "SeverusSeverusSeverus- beautiful ..." Harry planted his feet on the floor and pushed his hips up again, watching the reaction of Severus's body, his face, listening to his breathing and voice.  
  
Snape’s usually unmovable spine began to curve and roll in waves as he rocked his body over Harry, riding the young Gryffindor; the fierce lion that at some point had become charmed by the snake. "Ah-" Severus gasped as his lip remained parted, watching Harry under his heavy hair. His hand reached up Harry’s strong arm, wrapping his fingers around the skin.  
  
Harry licked his own lips, thrusting inside the man over him, "So beautiful, so ... ohgod this feels so perfect." The young man's arm tensed in Severus's grasp as they moved together and he leaned up, trying to kiss him, "Does it feel good?"  
  
It was a rare moment, but Severus was being held accountable for pleasure, rather then pain, and he was embarrassed by this, "Yes, it is very pleasurable for me." The dark wizard focused his thoughts on the necessary spells before he kissed Harry, moaning, speaking them into his mouth, his body; dispatching the spells like bloodhounds to seek out the evils in Harry’s body, chasing them out, chasing them into Severus.  
  
He moaned, "Mmhm ..." Harry started to thrust a little harder, it came naturally to him, the rut and slip of the movement of his hips. "I want ... you to ... please ... want to make you come too, Severus-" he moaned, feverishly.  
  
Severus kept his head down, close to Harry as he licked his lips, swallowing the taste of Harry, as he considered what he wanted. "Another time." He suggested.  
  
"Promise ..." he groaned, faster, harder inside him, building a steady speed, "promise me ... please ... "  
  
"Ah-" Severus gasped, arching his back as he began to grind back against Harry, his torso straightening as his head tipped up, panting, "Yes- yes Harry … yes, promise."  
  
"Ohgod-" he grinned, "Severus-" Harry gasped again, deeply, "goingto-" his hips were slapping against his professor's ass again and again.  
  
"Yes- you must-" Severus groaned as he steadied himself, a strong hand pressed against Harry’s shoulder for balance.  
  
"Tell me ... you ... like this ... please even if you ..." Harry started to tense, his green eyes closing hard, his hips heating, pressure building as he hammered inside Severus.  
  
"Come for me Harry … _come for me._ "  
  
Harry gasped, nodding, blinding heat pushing through his veins, "YESyesyeyes-" he moaned and then cried out loudly, his body thrashing between the tangled shirt around his wrists and Severus's ass as he came at last.  
  
"… good." Snape rewarded, taking another kiss from Harry, feeling the black magic pour into him, cling to his insides and become easily welcomed, absorbed by his body – a vessel – as all bodies are.  
  
Harry yelled out for a moment, without words, and he came to a still, gasping and looking up at Severus as their lips parted, enchanted in every sense.  
  
"How do you feel?" The familiar question was echoed.  
  
"Good ..." he sighed, still staring up, "how are you?"  
  
Severus pressed his lips together with a nod. "Very well." His triumphant smirk was actually more of a discreet smile.  
  
Harry sighed, swallowing, licking his lips. "That ... felt ..." he leaned up again, as much as the ties and his position would allow, "mhmmm ..."  
  
"Yes?" Severus reached up and unwrapped Harry’s wrists from his shirt, freeing his hands, "Still intend to report me to the headmaster?"  
  
Harry smirked and stroked his hands down Severus's back again, "Mmm ... it hasn't been an hour yet, I don't know" he purred.  
  
Severus removed himself from over Harry, standing and shifting his thighs together, making sure the darkness remained in its new home. "Do me the courtesy of letting me know. I would like to be there as well." He wiped his hand over Harry’s cock, cleaning up after himself.  
  
Harry moaned and swallowed, "I ... I will," Harry sat up, dizzy and rumpled looking, his eyes fixated only on Severus.  
  
"What is it Harry?" Severus asked, not having to look at his student to know that the young man was staring at him.  
  
"Nothing," he looked away, knowing that it was already time for their other relationship, cold, distant, full of animosity, "nothing, sir" he said, doing up his shirt.  
  
Severus washed, cleansed his hands, "It is not yet curfew, do you require an escort back to your common room?"  
  
"No," Harry stood, buckling his pants, straightening his tie, "no, I can find my way, thanks." He looked at Snape again, his heart still pounding and his head full of questions, of things he wanted to say, to do, but ... "goodnight, professor."  
  
"Good night, Harry." Some things seemed to have carried over, as he found himself using his name informally. "Contact me immediately should you become unwell again."  
  
"I will," he sighed, looking at Severus again before he let himself out.

 

*            *            *

 

Harry was distant again in class, but not ill exactly. His left hand was bandaged and he kept it below the table, hidden away from the professor's perceptive eyes.  
  
But hiding something from Severus Snape was just as good as advertising it. Potions class went relatively smoothly, and the professor was handing back graded assignments. He might have even stood up and shout hallelujah if Miss Granger would use her reason and critical thinking on assignments, rather then just regurgitating the words of others from books. When he came to Harry, he looked down as him quietly, handing the young man his paper, on which the last page said: "See me after class."  
  
Harry swallowed and blushed up to his scar and closed it, sliding the paper into the rest of his books on the table. The green eyed boy looked up at Snape for only an instant and then waited for everyone else to leave again. Ron and Hermione were only too involved in yet another argument and a few seconds later, they were alone again. He looked up, "Wanted to see me?"  
  
"Yes." Severus folded his arms as he leaned back against his desk, considering how to best proceed with the young man, "Are you well?"  
  
Harry took a deep breath, "I've been better."  
  
"Indeed."  
  
Harry swallowed, looking up at Snape, confessing, "I feel ... sick again. I don't know why."  
  
Severus unfolded his arms, beckoning Harry with a single hand, "Let me see."  
  
He took a deep breath and stood, still hiding his hand in his robes. "I had more dreams again," he muttered, blushing, his breath stalling in his throat.  
  
Severus stood tall, his finger pressing up against Harry’s chin, tilting his head up, examining his eyes. "More of the same?"  
  
Harry's eyes were worse than they were before, they'd almost gone grey, concrete colored. "Yeah ... but ... this time-" he licked his lips, "in bed ..."  
  
Severus was seeing something dangerous in Harry, and it wasn't going away. "Are you yourself? In your dream, but is it still you?"  
  
"I think so ... I can't tell, everything's black, all the sheets ... the blankets, curtains ..." he stepped closer, kissing Severus without warning.  
  
Severus almost struck Harry as his nature would normally demand of him. His hand had jerked up, he had pulled it back to strike, but then with conscious effort he put his hand on Harry’s shoulder. "Harry-"  
  
"Sorry, I ... needto ... I ..." he kissed him again, again, then pulled back, panting, "I'm sorry ..."  
  
"I know Harry. It has been too long." Severus let his hands fall to his sides, "Kiss me again, you will feel better."  
  
Harry nodded and kissed Severus again, harder, devouring him passionately.  
  
Ever the scientist, Severus discovered what Dumbledore had feared, just in the way Harry kissed him. Harry was drawing out Snape’s magic, taking on his darkness, rather then purging himself of it. This was the dark lord’s influence. Severus took a strained breath, already quite aware of the difficulty of what would happened next. "That is enough Harry." Severus made distance between them, pushing Harry back slightly, "I will see you later, come to me tonight."  
  
"What?" Harry gasped, his voice shaking, "Why .... why later? What's wrong?"  
  
"Because I asked you." Severus said calmly.  
  
He swallowed, "I just ... I can't ... " he looked down, "I'm sorry, I'll come back later, I just ... it's been a bad ... day."  
  
"From now on it might be necessary for you to come to me every night. How would you feel about that?"  
  
A flash of hunger went through Harry's eyes and he nodded, "Yes, yes, yes ..." It looked as though the quidditch player would tackle Severus again for a moment, and then he nodded and backed out, "later. I promise."  
  
"Very good." Severus said, waiting until Harry was gone before he went to speak with his master for counsel.


	2. Chapter 2

Dumbledore was in his office, writing with a frown.  
  
Knocking once, Severus let himself in. "Sir. I have a serious matter to discuss." Severus said simply, which for Severus was like saying that Voldemort was in the kitchens preparing everyone their last supper.  
  
Dumbledore looked up, "Yes? Come in Severus, please."  
  
Severus did not forget his social graces, he couldn’t. If he forgot such things, then the it would be a sign that the darkness had finally consumed him; that he had been a vessel filled too full. "I am sorry to disturb you Sir." He sat in the chair before the headmaster’s desk, taking in the man’s appearance, some days it looked like that man was drowning and consumed by worry.  
  
"No, of course not, it's okay" he nodded, "sit, please." He frowned, swallowing and shifting closer, even forgetting the usual tea.  
  
Severus gave pause, "Are you alright sir?"  
  
"Yes, I apologize, my mind is burdened heavily these days" he conjured tea, "I'm a little alarmed, you look ... you look different."  
  
Severus sighed, and here he was bringing more troubles to the headmaster’s table, never a bearer of good news, then again, that was not his role to play, _I am sorry_. "Sir. I must confirm to you that Harry Potter is indeed under an influence that is not his own. I regret to suggest that the dark lord is indeed playing around in his mind, planting suggestions and influences within Potter’s subconscious that is driving him to act with impulses that are not his own."  
  
Dumbledore sat up straighter, ignoring his own tea, "Are you certain? What's led you to suspect this?"  
  
"I can see it in his eyes sir. The dark lord is there. Not to mention the fact that Harry no longer wishes to purge himself of dark influences as he once did, but wishes to consume them. A power the dark lord would enjoy cultivating within another body."   
  
"Purge himself? How long has Harry needed ... purging, Severus?" Dumbledore looked surprised.  
  
Severus thought back, his perfect memory doing the calculations, "Fifteen days, counting today."  
  
"Voldemort ... in Harry's mind could easily do ghastly things, not only to him ... but to all of us." He thought for a long moment, "Realize, Severus, when the darkness builds in Harry at any time, it could easily be Voldemort looking out at you. The danger it places you in is ... astronomical."  
  
"Yes sir." Severus nodded with grave understanding, it had been something he considered since the dark lord had been reborn. "Perhaps, extra lessons should be arranged." A tightness grew in Severus’s stomach, even now he disliked making Potter a special case, and yet he would not ignore the need for it, "in occlumency."   
  
Dumbledore relaxed, nodding, "I was just about to suggest exactly that ... if you are up to it, it could help him survive."  
  
Severus stilled even more, "… me sir?"  
  
"Who better, Severus?"  
  
"… it’s, it was natural in me. You were the one who helped me strengthen and develop it … you sir, you should be the one to teach him."  
  
Dumbledore looked at Severus, "I may not be at the school for very much longer, Severus ..." he swallowed, "not if Dolores has her way."  
  
"WHAT?" Severus snapped at this, usually the one cool under pressure, the loss of Dumbledore to Hogwarts was huge, it was like opening all the doors and windows and saying, _evil now welcome._  
  
"Severus-" Dumbledore warned, as one might warn a horse who began to stamp, "I'm doing all I can, but if the ministry requests that I step down-" he spread his hands, "I am powerless to refuse."  
  
Severus fumed quietly, his gaze upon Dumbledore’s tea cup was intense enough to heat it once more, "I will teach him then." And look after the students to the best of his ability in Dumbledore’s absence.  
  
"Thank you," he nodded, "Knowing you are helping him, knowing Harry has you, helps me in ways you cannot imagine, Severus. Thank you."  
  
Severus nodded, but as Dumbledore said, Severus could not imagine, even though he was indeed a long-term thinker, he did not have Dumbledore’s sense of foresight. "And you sir?" he looked up, eyes steady and dark, having no memory of the grey-blue they once were when he was still an innocent. "You will be … well?"  
  
Dumbledore smiled softly, "I will, in the meantime, hardly be waiting idly by." He touched Severus's hand for a moment, sighing, "Thank you."  
  
Severus smiled a little at this, both Dumbledore’s determination and spirit, as well as the comforting touch that in itself made his own hand shake slightly, bringing a reminder of light into his heart.  
  
Dumbledore swallowed and squeezed Severus's hand, "Forgive me for saying so, but ... it, it has always been a great tragedy to me, the worst sort of casualty of this war ..." he just stared at Snape, "this long winter of your heart."  
  
 _It’s ok._ The child in him said, in a way that he might if someone ate the last cookie that he had been looking forward to all day. "Nothing lasts forever" he attempted to assure the both of them.  
  
Dumbledore nodded and pulled his hand away, holding his breath for a moment, "I will not leave without saying goodbye."  
  
"I would appreciate that." Severus said a little more quietly as he stood, gathering himself up – always, just once more.  
  
Dumbledore smiled, "Goodnight, Severus."  
  
"Goodnight, sir." Severus saw himself out. Taking a deep, determined breath once he was outside of the headmaster’s chambers. Shifting his focus now upon Harry, and the influence they would be fighting.

 

*            *            *

 

Harry fell asleep again, in a chair in the library and woke with a start after a dream that left him not wanting to blink. He felt sick again and heavy, almost drunk or drugged as he made his way to Severus's office and pounded on the door, "Professor?"  
  
Behind the door, Severus put away his other work, this was one instance when he would not multitask. Harry would receive all of his attention. He opened the door, "Please come in."   
  
Harry pushed the door open, "I ... I saw ... I had a dream again ... a snake and ..." Harry doubled over, sinking to his knees.  
  
Severus closed and sealed the door before he pulled Harry upright, "Do you know why?"  
  
Harry stared at Snape, eyes wide and dark, almost brown now, the color of James's eyes. "Tell me ..." he gasped for breath, but didn't stop staring at Snape, "tell me."  
  
Severus was careful with Harry in the sense that he did not look at him directly, "Sit down."  
  
Harry wavered and sat, still staring with the same greedy, predatory look. "A snake bit someone ... a Weasley ..."  
  
"How do you know it was _a Weasley_?" Severus said calmly as he made Harry hot chocolate.   
  
"Red hair ..." Harry swallowed, shaking, "I dreamed I was a snake, I bit Mr. Weasley ..."  
  
"There are many people in the world with red hair …" Severus said, though while his back was to Harry, he also sent Dumbledore a message _‘Arthur attacked by snake’_ via his patronus, directing it through the fireplace he stood by, making it look like nothing more then a fire crackle. He turned to face Harry, walking over and offering him the mug of hot chocolate, "It was a dream." Severus knew better of course, but he needed to calm Harry down.   
  
"No, it seemed .... real, it seemed too real-" he took the hot chocolate, shaking hard, terrified even though he didn't want to admit it.  
  
"These dreams Harry-" Severus was looking to Harry’s hand, "are due to an outside influence. Your mind is being invaded … do you understand what I am saying?"   
  
"Yes ..." he nodded, pulling his hand under the cloak again, "by ... you don't think it's ... him do you?"  
  
"Yes." Severus said simply, testing how that would settle with Harry, if he was still under the influence, he would have an answer soon by Harry’s reaction.   
  
Harry sank back into the chair and closed his eyes, "How? How can ... he's not here!" He covered his face with both hands, the implication of Voldemort having access to all his thoughts making him feel doubly ill.  
  
"He is." Severus remained patient, needing to know if Harry was in control, Harry who would ask, how to get rid of him.  
  
Harry slowly uncovered his face, and seemed to struggle for a moment, frowning and setting the hot chocolate aside. "Are they his dreams? His dreams I've been having?"  
  
"His dreams. His bidding. His desires."  
  
"You?" Harry sounded horrified.  
  
Severus closed his eyes a moment, moistening his lips before he redirected the conversation, "Do you enjoy the dreams Harry?"   
  
Harry nodded, looking down, but his face suggested that now he felt sickened by what the dreams really were. "I ... I didn't know ..."  
  
"Then you don’t want them to end?" Severus said, preparing himself mentally.  
  
Harry gritted his jaw, looking up, "How do I get rid of him?"  
  
"Occlumency" Severus provided clearly.   
  
"Occlumency?" Harry swallowed, "what is it?"  
  
"Occlumency is the study of closing one’s mine against external penetration. A person who is proficient in this is considered an occlumense."  
  
Harry, already looking exhausted sighed, "Doesn't sound like the sort of thing I'll pick up after three tries."  
  
"No. It requires emptying your mind of emotion, to be calm under pressure. So, will you give up before we even begin our first lesson, or will you try?"  
  
Harry swallowed, "I don't have a choice, do I?" He stood, resigned, "Do we start now?"  
  
"You always have a choice." Severus said smoothly, "I simply prefer to know now if you intend to waste my time." He provoked.   
  
Harry's eyes, murky though they were flashed a little, "Fine. Let's get started."  
  
Severus produced a narrow vial of orange bubbly as he had before, "First, how are you feeling?"  
  
Harry just looked away, swallowing again over a wave of nausea, "I've been better."  
  
"Take this before we begin."  
  
Harry looked up and paused for a moment, willing himself not to dread or hope what might happen after he took the potion. He just nodded, not trusting himself to speak, and downed the orange, bubbling mixture with a shudder.  
  
"That is the second time you have accepted something from me without question, Harry. While I appreciate your confidence, it is a dangerous habit to be so trusting." He avoided citing Dumbledore as an example, "What you have taken is a infusion of protection potion, it will not make you better, but it will prevent you from getting worse during our exercise."   
  
Harry sighed, coughing a little, "Don't worry, I don't just walk around downing potions from complete strangers. Besides, if you wanted to off me, you probably would have done it a long time ago. Right?"  
  
Severus smiled a little at this, somehow pleased that for once Harry was proving himself observant. "Now then …" he turned on his heels, walking to the adjoining workroom of his office, "if you will follow me."   
  
Harry followed him, worried that the lessons might replace the only upside of his recent illnesses. He kept his eyes down, fighting off a constant, splitting headache, "Is someone going to check on Mr. Weasley?"  
  
"Yes Harry." Severus was free with this information for the time, Harry was well out of his dream state, the connection between himself and the dark lord disconnected, or at least weak. On the center worktable of Snape’s office was a large basin with ruin symbols around it, silvery strands, not quite gas, not quite liquid twisting around over one another, giving the dark room a slight glow.   
  
Harry looked over at the basin, curious, recognizing it from somewhere, but he wasn't sure where. With a shake of his head, he blew dark strands of hair from his eyes and looked at Snape, "Alright ... well, how do I start?"  
  
Severus did not answer right away, instead he pointed his own wand to his temple and removed several layers of silver-white memory, depositing them into the pensive for safe keeping, only after which he addressed Harry, "You will need your wand, as you may-" he was giving permission, "attempt to disarm me, or otherwise defend yourself in any way you can think of."   
  
_A pensive. What would he need to get rid of before this?_ Harry pulled his wand out, "Defend myself from ... what?"  
  
"From me, Harry." Severus said in a dangerously silky tone, "I am about to invade your mind."  
  
Harry's large eyes narrowed and he tightened his grip on his wand, Snape's tone sending a shiver through him. He nodded, "Alright."  
  
" _Legilimense!_ " Severus’s eyes tore into Harry’s, invading his mind as sharp as talons would tear into its prey. Speaking the spell verbally was the only warning Harry received.  
  
Harry gasped, able to feel Severus sorting through his thoughts, his memories like he was rifling through a file, or peeling his clothes off too quickly. Of course there were the usual contents: _Quidditch, Ron, Hermione, homework, Voldemort, Malfoy, classes_ , then another layer peeled away, deeper, _his hands on my thighs, mouth over my mouth. Severus, Severus's eyes, his skin, his odd eerie grace_ , a layer deeper, the space Snape took up in his mind was enormous, it pushed even the space occupied by Voldemort aside and then the embarrassing vastness of his claim over Harry's heart ... "Stupify-" Harry aimed at Snape to push him back, embarrassed.  
  
Severus deflected the simple spell, but released his hold upon Harry as well, "The problem with being in your mind Harry, is that unless you learn to conceal your thoughts, I will always know what spell you intend to send against me." He made no comment whatsoever upon that which Harry’s thoughts had lingered upon. Though Snape must have seen it, he looked much paler; the implications were too great.  
  
Harry looked away, his jaw locked, furious at himself, horrified at what Snape might have seen. _He'll never touch you again_. "Right." For an instant, the only sound in the room was Harry's breathing.  
  
"Again." Severus demanded, " _Legilimens!_ "   
  
Harry looked away this time, tense, and then he smirked a little when he realized Snape needed his eyes to get inside. "Hmm."  
  
Severus however rushed Harry, hooking his hand into Harry’s throat, making the boy look at him, "Cheating does not spare you from _him_!"  
  
Harry choked a little and looked at Snape, gasping, angry and his eyes filled with furious tears, clouding the now dark brown of his eyes as he panted, "You TOLD me to stop you! I DID!"  
  
Severus let go of Harry angrily, "You, my boy, seem to be the exception to the rules … the dark lord _will_ not, _does not_ need eye contact to invade your mind. How else do you expect to practice if you avoid the situation?"   
  
Harry glared, grinding his teeth as he spat out with as much hatred as he could muster, "If Malfoy did it you'd congratulate him and give him points for creativity!"  
  
Severus stood cold, "Is that what you want? Constant praise? Worship? You are being held accountable for something higher then a grade here Potter!" He spat the name as contemptuously as he was used to, "More then just _your_ life is at risk! Or are you really that selfish?!"   
  
Harry turned his head, seething, looking Severus right in the eye, daring him with a twist of his lips, "Come on. Let's get back to it."  
  
" _Legilimens_!"   
  
Harry didn't look away this time, he stepped closer, affording Snape a better view. It was as good as a Dementor attack: _A swirl of red hair, a woman's scream, a flash of green light, Cedric Diggory dead on the ground, Voldemort grinding his fingers into Harry's scar, his cupboard at the Dursley's, starving through nights of punishment, Sirius gasping for breath on the shore of the lake, the horrific face in the back of Quirrel's head._  
  
"Harry! You are not trying! You are giving me your memories, weapons to be used against you-"  
  
 _Carving words into the back of his hand, 'I must not tell lies' ..._ Harry laughed, "What's the matter? Can't look? Come on," he stepped into Snape's personal space, sick and tired of being told he was a spoiled little brat with nothing to complain about, "You want to look? LOOK!"  
  
Severus snarled, breaking off the connection, not indulging Harry, "That is not the point" he hissed.  
  
"That IS the point! I controlled what you got to look at!" It wasn't until Harry said it that he realized what he'd done, he had put up a sort of wall. "Isn't it?" he asked, a little quieter.  
  
Severus gave pause as well, touching his hand to his own chin in consideration, "Indeed. If you can reproduce the same results, then I will accept it as something other then chance."   
  
Harry swallowed, nodding shallowly, "Alright," he licked his lips, "alright. Again?"  
  
" _Legilimens!_ " Severus worked to find new, unprotected and unintentional memories. The ones that put individuals like himself at risk.   
  
Harry took a deep breath, trying to focus again even though his fury had dimmed, _his cupboard at the Dursleys, Dudleys too big clothes hanging from Harry's frame, hunger and cold, Sirius Black screaming as a swarm of dementors attacked him, Lily running upstairs out of breath, being backed into a room, her back to Harry as she started pleading for his life, his own bleeding hand with the words carved into skin that looked like ground meat._  
  
Severus pushed Harry hard, unforgiving in this matter, as the dark lord would be, until he was satisfied and Harry’s nose was bleeding. "Very good Harry." He spoke gently, a rare reward. He handed the young man his handkerchief.  
  
Harry took the handkerchief with shaking hands and held it to his nose, doubled over, absolutely drained.  
  
"It is a beginning." Severus said calmly, returning to his desk, taking back his memories, "That is all the occlumency we shall perform for today."  
  
Harry nodded, still pressing the handkerchief to his nose as he straightened. He took it away, hoping the blood had stopped now, his head was throbbing in agonizing pulses. "Sure ..." He looked at Severus for a moment and turned to let himself out of the office.  
  
Severus looked up as Harry moved away, "Where are you going?"  
  
Harry paused, his hand on the doorknob. "I have detention," he sighed, looking up at the clock that read five minutes to eight.  
  
"With whom?"  
  
Harry stared at the door, trying to keep his voice colorless, "Umbridge."  
  
"Hm." Severus weighed his options. Umbridge had given him good evaluations for how he conducted his class for the most part, he wondered just how much of her favor he could press, "And how are you feeling?"  
  
Harry just gave a tired, helpless laugh, trying not to think about what actually went on in detentions with her as he looked back at Snape. _She'd have his job._ "I'll live."  
  
"Shall I be expecting your company tonight?" Though formal, there was a new note to Snape’s voice, concern.  
  
"After?" Harry nodded blankly, "Sure. I might be really late."  
  
Severus inclined his head slightly, "I shall be here."  
  
Harry nodded, letting himself out without another word.

 

*            *            *

 

It was almost midnight when Harry knocked on the door of Snape's office.  
  
The door opened after a moment, but Severus was not there to greet Harry, he was still at his desk. Scribbling one last note of critique upon a student’s paper before looking up. "Please come in."  
  
Harry walked in, he'd even pinched some color into his paper-white face before coming in and closing the door after him. "Too late?" he asked, trying to sound anything besides blank and ready to cave in.  
  
"No, not at all." Severus directed his wand to the stack of papers on his desk and sent them flying across the room, filing themselves away, "How are you feeling?" the question always remained.  
  
Harry nodded, "I'm awake," he licked his lips, willing himself to wake up a little more, to act normal whatever that was for him. "You?"  
  
"Awake." Severus echoed, but it was almost a comment upon Harry’s response. "Come, let me have a look at you."  
  
Harry stepped closer, one step, shrugging, "I didn't grow new hair or anything."  
  
"It's not your hair I am concerned with." Severus stood now, "Let me see your eyes."  
  
Harry blinked some of the raw redness out and looked up at Severus, barely needing to look up now. He sighed as if he found this exasperating and boring.  
  
Snape however was charged with the duty to see beyond appearances. He touched his hand to the side of Harry’s face, pushing his fingers back through Harry’s wild hair, kissing him.  
  
Harry gasped, surprised and his heart gave a wild heave of excitement as though they'd never kissed before now. He looked at Severus for a second and then closed his eyes, giving into the touch, the kiss. He wondered abstractly if Snape might have had to put the memory of what he saw about himself in Harry's mind in his pensive.  
  
Severus was taking again, always taking from Harry, and not giving back as he drank the dark essence from the boy’s sweet mouth and moaned. His other hand touched Harry’s side, drawing him closer.  
  
Harry whimpered softly and stepped closer, draping one arm around Snape's shoulders, his good hand stroking the back of his neck again, very softly, under his hair. He shook with pain and exhaustion and the blissful shock of being allowed to touch Severus's neck.  
  
Severus sighed, smoothing his hand down Harry’s arm, just before his wrist, just before his bandages, "Let me see what I can do about your scars, then we may continue this."  
  
Harry swallowed, holding his breath for a moment, "Quidditch ..." he tried to explain.  
  
"Lying."  
  
Harry sighed, letting his scarred forehead rest against Severus's smooth one, relieved. He just stayed there for a second, sharing breath with Snape before he nodded slightly, "Okay ..."  
  
Severus took up Harry’s hand, and began to unwrap the bandages until he saw for himself what Harry had already shown him through memory, "How many more detentions must you serve with Umbridge?" Severus said in a whisper as his focus remained on the damaged hand.  
  
Harry licked his lips, keeping his breath even, "Seven." _I'm running out of skin_. Something about Snape whispering the question almost knocked the wind out of the boy.  
  
"No doubt she wishes to see progress in your lines." Severus still did not look at Harry, but summoned a bottle and what looked like several weeds from his storage room.   
  
Harry just nodded, he felt like he was shaking on the inside but his hand looked steady.  
  
Severus lowered Harry’s hand, letting it hang by his side as he dribbled the contents of the bottle of ointment onto the leaves, taking up Harry’s hand again, and wrapping them around his skin like a glove, followed by the bandages. "To ease the pain, and heal the nerves. The evidence of her malicious ways shall remain."  
  
"Thanks ..." Harry said, sincerely before he curled the fingers of his hurt hand around his professor's hand, just holding it for a moment. "It already feels better."  
  
Severus sighed, but it was not an impatient, irritable sigh; it was one of a heavy heart. He drew Harry closer again, kissing him a little less demanding, a little more considerate.   
  
Harry was still surprised, even more so because of the care Severus took this time, but he kissed him back more readily, the same way, tilting his head to let their lips lock. Harry's arm went around Severus again, stroking his neck the way he could tell by now the potions master secretly liked, he could feel the tension leave the small vertebrae and his stiff, surrounding muscles. Harry's bandaged hand went to Snape's shoulder, stark white against the deeply black fabric.  
  
Severus of course ruined it by speaking, "You are in need of release."   
  
Kissing him again, Harry nodded, coaxing his lips with his own, "In a minute ..." he pleaded.  
  
Severus however was guarded, careful not to give, Harry had enough dark magic swimming around, trying to make a home for itself in his body. Severus made sure to take, each time Harry tried to do the same.   
  
The boy moaned a little, slipping his thigh between Snape's, against the professor's definite erection through his robes.  
  
Severus in turn reached his long arm around the back of Harry’s body, his hand palming over Harry’s ass, then the back of his thigh.  
  
The moan turned to a groan and Harry locked their bodies together, arms tightening and his mouth opening against Severus's greedily, sucking at his tongue slowly, suggestively.  
  
Severus scolded himself for getting into this situation. It was a delicate art to say no to the dark lord, you had to make him think it was his idea and Severus had years of practice with him – but with Harry? He, who was marked by the dark lord himself? Severus puzzled over how he could possibly say no to him. It was much more then simple authority, or even power. It was complex, and as most complex things are, it was delicate. Severus broke the kiss, "You must not kiss me that way."   
  
Harry swallowed, "What way?" he asked quietly, a little breathless, his good hand touching Severus's face.  
  
"You mustn't try to draw me out."  
  
Harry sighed, nodding, "Just let you kiss me? That's all?"  
  
"Yes Harry. For now the conditions upon us are as such that I can" _and should_ "consume you, but you must not consume me- my magic."  
  
He half moaned, half whimpered, "But ..." he kissed Severus's face, his neck, soft, adoring kisses, "but I ..."  
  
"Give me credit Harry, I know what you want. But you must not want it. You cannot have it."  
  
Harry stopped, breathing against Severus's neck, eyes closed as he stayed that way for a moment, "Tell me one thing ..." he looked up at Snape, "if I ... could ... would you want me to?"  
  
"Yes-" Severus said quietly, as it was a slightly terrifying truth to the man, "yes, I believe I would like that very much Harry." He was so accustomed to not being wanted, the concept of being wanted, by Harry of all people, seemed to Severus a purely indulgent fantasy.  
  
Harry nodded, color finally blooming in his cheeks, "Kiss me ..." he whispered, closing his eyes.  
  
Severus did, kissing Harry deeply, almost giving the impression of an apology if Harry was displeased with the conditions.  
  
Harry hummed, letting Severus kiss him this time, but stroking their tongues together, running his hand into Snape's hair just above the nape of his neck, smiling a little against his lips and then discarding his glasses as they bumped against Severus's nose.

The potions professor took up Harry by his hand and guided him over to the familiar couch, "Sit" he directed "Tonight I shall help you find rest Harry; to sleep without dreams."  
  
Harry barely opened his eyes at all, just walked with Snape and sat as he was directed. The weight of his world was wearing a deep groove in his back and his throat felt tight enough to snap in two. He dared not say a word.  
  
Severus set himself straight to work, summoning all the supplies he would need, setting them on the floor at the end of the couch. He began by walking around the couch, casting a circle of powerful botanicals that had been ground up into a powder. As he drew the circle, he drew himself inside of it. The circle was to protect them, _Harry_ , from astral projection of the dark lord. Next he knelt before Harry, wrapping five-finger grass in a red cloth, tied off with both red and silver ribbon. This he placed under the end pillow. "Lay down Harry" he said calmly, guiding Harry to lay out on the couch, head on the pillow.  
  
Harry looked up, then around, perplexed, "What are you doing?" he laid down, obediently, but slowly, his eyes still on Severus.  
  
"Giving your body and mind a sanctuary. Nothing can penetrate this circle- nothing physical, nothing astral. The magic ends when you step out of the circle." His skilled hands began to undo Harry’s shirt, letting it lay open, "But understand Harry, I cannot do this for you every night. Though, when you need it most, I shall."  
  
Harry reached up and stroked his fingers over the dark, fabric covered buttons of Snape's jacket, just breathing and looking up at him. "Why? Why are you doing this?"  
  
Severus sighed, looking down at Harry’s hand on him as if the sight were somehow confusing. "You need to rest." Was the only answer he could commit to as he twisted mugwort and wormwood roots together into an almost bracelet. Taking up Harry’s wand hand, he placed it around his wrist.   
  
Harry smiled a little, secretly pleased at his un-answer. He watched Snape place the strange bracelet on his wrist and sighed, relaxing a little, more at the steady strength of Snape's hands on him than at any of the ingredients.  
  
Sometimes old magic was still the best magic. Back when witches and wizards did not necessarily have the luxury of learning with others, but rather were more then often alone, and the magic they had to envision for themselves needed to be strong, very strong. In this case it required two people, a rarity for its time. Severus stood, walking the circle once more, this time fisting his hand around a blade, letting his black blood (black from magic, not from lineage) drip down, consummating the seal on the protective circle. Then again, if Severus wanted to be truly archaic, he could make it a ring of fire like in the olden days. But that was when wizards feared muggles coming upon them and burning them alive. That was hardly a risk to be considered now here in his office, deep within Hogwarts.  
  
Harry's eyes widened and he sat up, alarmed, "What- no, stop-" he reached out, trying to take the knife, "You're trying to RELAX me!?"  
  
"Harry-" Severus half scolded, sheathing the knife, and showing Harry the palm of his hand, just as the skin came back together again, "Close your eyes, and rest."  
  
Harry sighed, shaking his head a little, muttering to himself about growing up with muggles and no one would ever do that in a muggle spa to new age music before he checked one last time, "You're ... okay? You're really okay?"  
  
Severus was amused by Harry’s concern, "Yes, quite alright. Lay back and close your eyes Harry. You will sleep like you never have before, and you will not be troubled by dreams." It was a promise.   
  
Harry looked up at Severus, whispering, "I don't want to sleep ..." right now, in the circle, it seemed like sleep would be a waste of time, a waste of time he could spend looking up at the strange, dark man.  
  
The Slytherin head of house nearly snorted at this, sitting on the floor, leaning against the couch, his hand on Harry’s chest, "I am not reading you a bedtime story if that is what you are after."  
  
Harry smiled tiredly, murmuring back, his hand resting over Severus's older, thinner hand, "Well now that you mention it ..." Harry stroked his hand over Snape's fingers, the young man was famous for his scar, and he had more than one but Severus was so beat up, so frequently leathered by abuse over years that it was hard to tell what he was really like. He guessed, he hoped, and now he felt like he saw it, just a little, just a sliver of him even if Severus would never see it himself, Harry saw it. "This is nice ..."  
  
"Good. Now sleep." Severus continued to encourage, making it clear that he was not going anywhere. That he had done this for a reason, and it should not be wasted.  
  
Harry sighed, and some of his stubbornness faded. It felt like his eyelashes were made of chainmail all of a sudden, his lids twitched trying to keep them open a little more, "Are you ... going ..."  
  
"I will not break the circle until you awake in the morning."   
  
Harry smiled and was about to make a smart reply but he fell asleep before he could utter the first word, his hand going soft over Severus's hand, one finger curled under Snape's like a tendril.  
  
Severus sat quietly, watching Harry sleep. It was fascinating to the man, seeing how Harry’s chest rose and fell with each breath, how the corner of his lips would twitch or open slightly as he breathed. It was lovely to watch.

 

*            *            *

 

Waking up from the best sleep he'd had in memory was less like being dumped into a pool of cold, sober alertness and more like a slow bloom inside him, unrushed readiness and the strange feeling of being ready for almost anything. More ready than he'd been in a very long time. Harry's hand stirred a little, and his green eyes opened slowly, unsure of the time, uncaring.  
  
Severus’s forehead was pressed against the cushion, face down. His hand was still over Harry’s chest, under his limp hand. His shoulders moved up and down slightly as he breathed, but was otherwise not moving. Sometime late during the night Severus had succumbed to his own spell, and had fallen into a merciful sleep.  
  
Harry smiled, blinking sleep from his eyes and watching Severus do something almost no one had ever seen the professor do before ... sleep. Snape was not beautiful, not at first glance, but Harry began to spot things, small, honest things he was amazed he'd never seen before: his eyelids were smooth, perfectly smooth and laced with unexpected color lent to the skin by the blue veins beneath, a thin scar swept under his right cheekbone, perfectly parallel to the high bone, making it look like some sort of mathematical architecture. No, Severus wasn't beautiful ... he was perfect.  
  
Severus lifted his head as he felt Harry stir. He didn't need to ask the young man how he was feeling, he could see it for himself.   
  
Harry just reached over and stroked Severus's hair, the way someone might to a beloved horse's mane. He coaxed Severus to lay his head down again, just where it was on Harry's shoulder.  
  
As if understanding Harry’s intentions, Severus indulged the young man, laying his head back down, letting his mind wrap around the idea of being touched so familiarly.   
  
Harry smiled again, pausing for a moment before he ran his fingers down the dark hair again and again, completely silent, not needing to say anything at all.  
  
Severus sighed as he slowly closed his eyes once more. For once he was in the moment, not in the past, or the future, but that exact moment. It was actually quite rare for the man, as it was a flood of peace over his mind, preventing him from contaminating it with other thoughts.  
  
Harry smiled, letting one finger brush the tip of Severus's ear, softly. "Did you sleep well?" he half whispered.  
  
Severus nodded once, but did not ask Harry the question in return. He already knew the answer and seemed to have a sense about not wanting to waste words on an unnecessary conversation.   
  
Harry turned a little, just a little more so that they faced each other, and he pressed a kiss to Snape's cheek, just over the tiny, almost invisible scar.  
  
Severus opened his eyes, "How do you feel?" he spoke the familiar question this time a few steps short of being an accusation, _are you ill?_  
  
He looked back at Severus, "How do I look?"  
  
"You look well, but the question remains."  
  
"I feel ... just bad enough for you to stay ..." he smiled, but a genuine smile, "I feel better," he murmured.  
  
Severus nodded, sitting up properly so that part of his back and sternum both cracked. He pulled himself off the floor and sat instead on the very edge of the couch beside Harry. He took his hand away from his chest, instead he touched the boy’s arm, drifting lightly down the muscle until his came to Harry’s bandaged hand.  
  
Harry gasped a little, pain still radiated at the touch, bringing the blissful, floating feeling he had sharply back down to earth.  
  
"Are you in need of another treatment?"  
  
Harry sighed, he hated being asked if he needed help. "It ..." he swallowed, flexing his fingers a little, "maybe," he admitted, sitting up, "let's have a look at it?"  
  
Severus began to unwrap the bandages, followed by what looked like leaves from weeds, examining Harry’s hand. The scarring remained as he previously indicated, but he hoped to still soothe his pain.   
  
Harry licked his lips, keeping everything below his wrist very, very still. "What do you think?"  
  
The question was answered by action. Severus took up his wand, and pointed it to the floor, causing the ring around them to go up in fire, and just as soon, die away. He broke the circle because he needed to summon something that otherwise would not be able to penetrate the protection he had conjured. Severus caught up the bottle and began to carefully pour the solution onto the leaves once more, rewrapping the hand to numb the experience of pain.  
  
The amount that Harry actually relaxed showed how much pain he was in without telling Severus. The boy took a deep breath, closing his eyes and his head rested against the side of the couch. A little nod and Harry's left shoulder popped as he relaxed.  
  
Severus returned Harry’s hand to him, placing it on the young boy’s thigh, "There now" he said, watching the boy. Curiosity had often gotten Severus into trouble, but it was not something he could help. He wanted to know a great many things, some more abstract then others, even so,  Severus did not ask or make comment upon the thoughts that were on his mind, instead he touched his hand to the side of Harry’s face, then stood, "Are you hungry?"  
  
"Mm?" he opened his eyes again, nodding, "starving, actually ... didn't eat at dinner last night."  
  
"Do you wish to remain here?"  
  
Harry's eyes warmed a little, the way Dumbledore's did sometimes when Snape would say something that caught him off-guard, in a good way. "Yeah," he nodded, "I don't need anything fancy, trust me, I'll eat pretty much anything. I'm a teenage boy."  
  
"Hm." Severus turned to go, adjusting his robes over his shoulders, "I shall return shortly."  
  
Harry watched him, and flashed a cheeky smile, "If anyone comes by, should I take a message?"  
  
Severus glanced over his shoulder, wondering just how Harry would handle himself in such a situation. "That would be the polite thing to do." He said before he left, closing the door behind him.   
  
Harry's smile spread wider and he half laughed, leaning back against the pillows, happy. He waited there for a moment and restlessness over took him. He rose and paced in the office, looking at the worn off letters of some volumes along the shelf, the chair that looked as straight as Severus's rigid spine and of course, there, beckoning like a siren was the pensive ...  
  
Harry walked over, looking over the edge of it, just observing the swirl of thoughts, his features lit by the silvery glow.  
  
There was one memory, that as Harry looked upon, grew stronger, rising up to the surface. _It was dusk as a bonfire grew to exceptional heights in the backyard of a country home. There was a large clearing of upturned earth, unusable land for little more then collecting stones or growing weeds at best._   
  
Harry blinked, just leaning over a little more, watching it closely as it wavered like paper floating over water.   
  
_The back door of the house was pushed open, swinging back on it’s hinges and banging against the wall of the house. A sever looking man in work clothes, oiled and torn had a young boy, no older then nine by the back of his scalp, pushing him forward. The boy struggled and tripped several times, but could otherwise not fight back as his arms and hands were tied behind his back with the man’s leather belt._   
  
Harry's eyes opened wider and he leaned forward, falling in and landing just behind the rough looking man with a thud on the grass.  
  
 _The man pushed the boy right up to the stone circle of the firepit, holding the whimpering boy by his shaggy black hair. Young Severus bent his back, straining to keep his face away from the bright flames that snapped up into the air, leaving a light haze of smoke around them. In this light, silhouetted by orange and gold flames, Severus’s nose bled crimson red, not black. But his eyes were closed, and remarkably said nothing as tears escaped from the corner of his eyes, only beginning to run down the side of his face before they dried up against the side of his face in the heat._   
  
Harry's throat went dry and although he knew there was nothing he could do, he followed Severus, standing between the man and his son. Severus looked so thin, thinner than Harry imagined a child should. He glared back at the man behind them, hating, hating Snape senior until he felt like he was going to throw up from anger, Harry's nails dug into his palms, "Don't touch him ..."  
 _  
"No son of mine-" the man barked, fisting Severus’s hair tighter, holding him just close enough to make the boy cry out and scream from the intensive heat. It was in this scream that the flames shot up higher, stronger then before as if someone had just thrown a can of petrol upon it._  
  
Harry looked at the fire, then back at Severus, his mind reeling. Who could do that to a child? To Severus?  
  
 _The back door opened again, and a woman emerged. Her dark hair was down, in attempts to keep the bruises against the one side of her face discreet. She had in her hand a twisted piece of wood, a makeshift wand and she shot a very weak stunning spell against her husband. It was enough however for the man to let go of his son out of reflex._

_Unfortunately for Severus, without his father holding onto the back of his head, he had no balance and fell into the flames. His right arm and shoulder broke his fall as he crashed into the burning logs and underbrush from their property._   
  
Harry dove after him, trying to pull him out, horrified, "SEVERUS!"  
  
 _The woman shot another stunning spell at her husband before her home made wand simply combusted in her hand. The man fell onto the ground in a large heap.  
  
Severus however stumbled out of the fire which unfortunately had grown as he raged. He fell onto the rocky and ashed earth, rolling over and over. The clothes he had worn were reduced to rags on one side of his body. His skin black and red, scored and already bubbling up puss._  
  
Harry kept trying to help, he could feel the heat and the rocks, he could feel Severus's slight shoulder, but not affect it. He'd never felt so helpless in his entire life, "Sev ..." he couldn't stop himself from reaching to the boy, trying to brush grit and ash from his skin.  
 _  
Severus coughed violently from the fire and smoke he had inhaled. The woman, his mother was at his side, and reached out the boy to touch his face, "S-" she had begun to speak but Severus snapped his head away instinctively, not letting her touch him. _   
  
Harry could hardly blame him, what kind of mother would let it get this bad? What sort of mother would stay with a man capable of- He swallowed hard, eyes tearing over, watching through a blur.  
  
 _"Come along-" she said, offering her hand.  
  
The boy looked up at her curiously, almost in disgust. His eyes blue-grey, but not as brilliant at they once were, not when there was still innocents in the world for Severus Snape. He refused her hand, and stood, cradling his burned arm.   
  
The woman led her son back indoors. "They are waiting for you. They will look after you from now on." She said, giving Severus nothing but a bag already packed for him   
  
The boy did not thank his mother. He said nothing to her at all. Only accepted the bag with his good hand, holding the burned one across his chest. _   
  
_Blue ... they were blue._ Harry followed, aching to take the bag for him, to cover his shoulder, to take care of him himself, to have taken him away from all of this sooner.  
  
 _The inside of the house was nothing to speak of. Everything there had a purpose, served a function. There were no knickknacks. Nothing foolish as private possessions. She led him before the fireplace, on which the mantle had no family portrait. She seemed to indicate to the boy who had already been burned, that he should step in.  
  
And he did. Without a flicker of fear_. Disappearing from the home, ending that particular memory. Spitting Harry back out.  
  
Harry gasped, being expelled from the memory, deposited back into the office, clinging to the sides of the pensive to steady himself. _Gods._  
  
Professor Snape walked back from the kitchens where he had the house elves prepare a platter, two plates. One of waffles, fresh berries, scrambled eggs, sausage and bacon and the second of a buttered English muffin and scrambled eggs. He opened the door to his office and stepped in, but did not see Harry on the couch where he had left him, "Harry?" he called from the other room.  
  
Harry straightened, pale, looking around before he grabbed a paper and quill and walked out, calm as he could manage, "Hey." He smiled gently, now knowing what caused some of Severus's mysterious scars.  
  
Severus put the platter down on the center of the couch with a frown, "What were you doing?"  
  
Harry held up the parchment and quill, "Going to write to Sirius, but you're back ... hmm what's all this?" He smiled a little, sitting on the couch and looking the food over with a smile.  
  
"Breakfast" he kept his eyes on Harry, taking up his own plate with the English muffin and eggs, leaving Harry to his.  
  
"Thanks," he smiled, looking back up at Severus, "what?"  
  
Professor Snape thought he had seen something in the back of Harry's eyes, but cleared it from his mind for the most part. He shook his head once, "Eat" he said, biting into his own English muffin.   
  
Harry nodded, digging into his breakfast with the usual gusto of a teenage boy. "Mmmm."  
  
"No messages I take it." He said simply, casting a quick look around the room to see if any book or notes were out of place.  
  
Harry laughed, "Well McGonagall did come by, I answered the door naked and told her to go away."  
  
"Interesting. She failed to mention as much when I passed her in the hall."   
  
Harry shrugged, "Must not have made much of an impression I guess."  
  
Severus just tisked once as he ate his breakfast, watching Harry eat with a hunger he was not sure he had even known.   
  
He sighed, watching Severus back, mentally matching his face with the features of the boy he'd seen earlier, they were the same. Harry reached down, taking a long drink of juice, "Mmm? Never seen a teenage boy eat before?"  
  
"Tragically, I see it every day." He said dryly.  
  
Harry laughed, his messy, dark bangs huffing as he did, "I'm not as bad as Ron!"  
  
"Ah- here it comes. Teenage gossip. Do tell."  
  
Harry rolled his eyes, "Have you ever seen someone eat an entire bowl of chili without using their hands?"  
  
"And you are suggesting your dear friend, Mr. Weasley has?" Severus wondered if Molly knew what sort of monsters she was breeding.   
  
"I'm saying I have photos."  
  
"Ah-"  
  
"They're something, trust me. He looks like some sort of rust-colored monster from the depths."  
  
"Indeed."  
  
He watched Severus, "You alright?"  
  
There was a slightly uncomfortable silence as Severus stepped closer, making Harry pause in his eating, removing the bracelet of roots from around Harry’s wrist. "Today is Saturday." He said, only now half remembering what the weekends meant for him.  
  
"Oh ..." Harry hadn't remembered, it only occurred to him now that on a weekday, they'd both be in classes. Harry nodded, watching the bracelet slip off, "What time is it?"  
  
"A little after ten." He said, tossing the bracelet into the fire where it hissed sharply, black puss bubbling out before burning up completely, destroyed.  
  
Harry swallowed hard, watching it burn, "Right ... I have to be somewhere at eleven."  
  
Severus did not inquire further, that was Harry’s business. "In the meantime, how are you feeling?"  
  
He shrugged, "A little ... strange," Harry rubbed the back of his neck.  
  
"How so?" Severus stepped closer once more, sitting on the couch beside Harry, reading his body, "Explain."   
  
"Dizzy, a little sick again, like I'm shaking but I'm not ..." he looked at Snape.  
  
Severus’s steady gaze pierced deeply into Harry's eyes, looking just behind them, "I’ll take care of it." He said, moving his hand to the side of Harry’s face, thumbing over the corner of his mouth, wiping away syrup left over from his waffles.   
  
Harry licked his lips, blushing apologetically, "At least it's not chili ..." he swallowed, eyes wide, looking up to Severus, his dark, private guardian.  
  
Severus kissed Harry’s sweet mouth, tasting his breakfast, and the magic that was making the young man ill. His hand moved up Harry’s thigh, encouraging him to part his knees.  
  
Harry moaned eagerly, melting against the touch, "Mmmm-" more experienced now, Harry parted his lips and his knees, shifting himself closer to Snape, letting his hands roam wherever they wanted to, anywhere they pleased. Severus could have anything, anything he wanted from the dark haired boy, today even more than yesterday, this morning even more than last night.  
  
Severus drank the darkness from Harry’s lips slowly, sucking on the man’s tongue, moaning into his mouth both his pleasure and the necessary spells. He pressed the base of his hand up against Harry’s hard stomach, then pushed his fingers down, into his pants, made tight with his intruding hand. Severus squeezed his hand, massaging Harry sensually.   
  
Harry moaned, his back arching deeply, "Ahhh ..." he gasped, then gave his mouth over again, using his own hands to push his trousers away, freeing his erection and Severus's hand, kicking them off onto the floor.  
  
Pulling him up, sideways onto his lap, Severus snaked his arm around Harry, hooked around his sides. Harry’s legs were stretched out on the couch, his ass dipped down between the groove of Snape’s legs. Severus held the boy like this, holding and kissing him, while his hand began to work over Harry’s cock, fingering just under his balls.  
  
Harry moaned again, feeling Severus's hard-on through the black robes just under where his hand rubbed him. "Mhmm." he sank down a little harder, rubbing against him, kissing Severus more openly. His arm, the one closest to the man in black circled around Snape's neck, holding him there, Harry's bandaged hand resting on Snape's shoulder.  
  
Severus slid his hand under Harry’s shirt, pushing up against the smooth skin until his fingers began to twist around Harry’s nipple. He hypothesized, the more excited he could get Harry, the more he could get out of him.  
  
Harry whimpered and hissed softly, surprised by the jolt of feeling through his chest, "Ahhh ..." his legs spread again, wider. "Sev ..." he groaned, shaking, grinding down against him slowly through the fabric.  
  
"Mmm, you enjoy that?" Severus spoke evenly in a wicked tone.  
  
Harry moaned, "Y ... yes, yes, yes ... yes ... I can feel you ... " he ground down against Snape through his robe again, wantonly, pulling his own shirt off so that he was completely naked in Severus's arms, white and blush pink against the background of absolutely black robes.  
  
Severus licked the fullness of his own bottom lip. He turned Harry on his lap so that the boy’s back was against his chest. Legs spread over his own, forced to remain open. His wand hand moved up Harry’s chest once more, feeling him up as they breathed together. Severus kissed Harry on the neck once, "Then" he whispered, "imagine" he held Harry tightly so that the boy could not squirm out of his hold as he smoothly jerked him off, wrapping his hand over his prick, sliding the hard muscle in his hand over and over.   
  
He cried out, writhing, his hips arching up and up, straining his muscles. "Ah ... yes, yes, yes ... SEV ... SEVERUS!" he moaned just before coming suddenly, almost violently into Snape's wide, hot palm.  
  
In one fluid movement Severus scooped up the black magic, which upon release tried to absorb itself back into Harry’s body. But cupping it in his hand, Severus threw it down on the floor as if he was throwing a knife. Once there his other hand pulled itself from Harry’s chest and took up his wand instead, casting the blackness into the fire where it struggled, but burned away. Putting down his wand, he wrapped his arm around Harry once more, holding him on his lap. "There-" he said quite calmly, his hand worked over Harry slowly, making sure he had gotten all he could from him.   
  
Harry was gasping, curled back against Snape's body, trembling and flushed, "Mmm-" he sighed, still moaning a little at the feeling of Severus underneath him. "Gods, I ... isn't there anything I can ... please?"  
  
"Another time." Severus said softly, kissing the side of Harry’s neck once more as a sign that he appreciated Harry’s interest and concern for fairness. He enjoyed Harry on his lap, just sitting there against his own body, like a chair.   
  
Harry hummed, tilting his head to the side, stretching his throat out for Severus's mouth, "Good," he purred, "and I won't let you touch me, see how you like it."  
  
Severus smirked a little as this, holding Harry securely.   
  
Harry sank back against him, smirking the same way, turning his head to kiss Severus's jaw softly. "Are you going to be here later tonight?"  
  
"No." Severus said simply, then felt obligated to explain himself further, "I will not be back until late Sunday evening."  
  
Harry looked up at him, opening his mouth to ask something but he changed his mind, "Monday in class, then?" The boy made no attempt to hide his disappointment.  
  
"Yes, Monday." He smoothed his hand calmly down Harry’s thigh.  
  
Harry sighed and closed his eyes, resting his head against Severus's neck, just breathing against his paper-pale skin. "Is there ... anything I can do?"  
  
"Your homework." Severus had always made himself quite clear in this regard. No matter if you were the chosen one or the minister’s niece, you were expected to do your work.  
  
Harry smiled, quietly. "Yes, sir."

Severus patted Harry on the knee, "Good boy" he said with a sigh, reluctant to have the boy leave.  
  
He kissed Severus's jaw again, again, to the joint where it curved up to his ear. "I'll have it, with footnotes, no spelling mistakes ...."  
  
"I look forward to it then. And perhaps, in your own words, and not Miss Grangers."  
  
Harry sighed, "I'll try to make some time to make sure it's the most glorious and shining of all essays ever to slide across-" he kissed his ear softy, "your desk."  
  
The image however in Snape’s mind was not parchment being pushed across his desk, but Harry’s naked body. Severus swallowed, the corner of his lips turning up.  
  
Harry smirked, "I've always liked your desk ..."  
  
"And why is that?"  
  
"Looks ..." another kiss, "sturdy ... nice and hard."  
  
"Devious boy."  
  
He grinned brightly, "Hm? For admiring your desk from afar? Don't think I've ever actually touched it yet."  
  
"We shall see."  
  
Just a slow rotation of Harry's hips elicited a groan from the boy at what he felt under him, "Really?"  
  
"Yes. In time. Should the idea still appeal to you."  
  
"It's ... appealed to me for a while now ..." he leaned up, pressing his lips under Severus's chin, following with his tongue.  
  
"Hmm-" Severus hummed, oddly relaxed by Harry’s unwavering affection.  
  
His lips mapped his jaw bone again, "No wonder I've had such a hard time concentrating in class ..." his tongue again, soft, slow, just lapping against the soft, neglected skin, "very hard, almost every class."  
  
"So I am beginning to understand." Severus said, his throat slightly dry.  
  
Harry smiled and shifted so that he could brush his lips against Snape's neck, down the side of his throat, taking his time as he tasted the skin, letting his tongue join with a soft moan, "Mmm ... Severus ..."  
  
Severus’s eyes slowly began to close, "Hm?" as if he were a kitten being given a bath.  
  
"Good ..." he groaned, mouth moving up and down, mapping every inch of Severus's neck, then behind his ear. Harry turned in his lap, straddling Snape's thighs and sucking a little on his earlobe. "You're good, you're so good ..."  
  
Severus wasn’t _good_. He knew this. But he enjoyed hearing Harry say it anyway. His hands moved instinctively to the small of Harry’s back, then palming over the round of his ass, holding the boy on his lap.  
  
Harry hummed, "Mmm ..." his lips moved down the front of Snape's throat, sucking a little harder until he reached his top button. He let his tongue graze the button slowly.  
  
Severus swallowed, his long fingers slowly massaging Harry on the ass, squeezing and pulling, separating and smoothing over once more to do it again.  
  
He moaned, biting at the button a little, "Can I ..." he asked, wanting to undo it, to expose just an inch of new skin.  
  
"Only one." Severus granted.   
  
Harry reached up at first to undo the button but then paused, bringing his mouth closer and taking it into his teeth, then the fabric in his teeth, pushing the button through with his tongue until the collar came undone. He never thought just another inch of skin could make him dizzy but he'd never seen Severus with his collar undone, no one had that he knew of and he groaned as he pressed his lips there.  
  
"Ah-" Severus moaned out breathlessly, tilting his head back with a pleased sigh.  
  
"Sev-" he moaned, nodding, kissing the new ring of skin around his throat, tonguing the stronger muscles there, his good hand stroking over Snape's chest.  
  
Severus squeezed Harry on the ass again, grinding against him naturally as the young Gryffindor tongued over his skin, "Harry-  that’s good" he rewarded.  
  
Harry gasped, "Please ..." he begged against Severus's skin.  
  
"Please, what?" Severus opened his sharp eyes suddenly.  
  
Harry looked up at him, green eyes blurry with wide, black pupil. He smiled, half bashful, half frustrated as he put their foreheads together and groaned, still grinding back against Severus, "It's just ... so good ..."  
  
"Then we should stop."  
  
Harry sighed, slowing, but unable to completely stop, his hard stomach rippling a little. "I know ..." he whispered, the tips of their noses touching. Harry's hair looked almost ethereal, wisps of it against his cheekbones and just in front of his eyes.   
  
Severus sighed, and after allowing a few more wonderful moments to pass, made himself clear, "Time to get up Harry, you should dress and go. So should I."  
  
Harry nodded quietly, stealing one kiss before he rose and dressed with a sigh, trying not to use his heavily bandaged hand.  
  
But Snape remained seated, watching Harry dress. Adapting his movements, what parts of himself he favored most, by dressing and protecting first.   
  
Harry didn't realize he was being watched and contorted his face oddly as he struggled to do the last button up with one hand, then working on his tie before he remembered it was Saturday anyway and tore it off with a disgusted shake of his head at himself, leaving it undone around his neck. His good hand went back into his hair, trying to smooth the catastrophe down a little when he looked up at Snape and paused, "What?"  
  
The thought still remained with Severus. Harry was lovely. He stood up finally, cupping his hand against the back of Harry’s neck, kissing him once more, "Good day Harry."  
  
Harry swallowed. The kiss was different, and he wasn't sure if Severus caught the difference: it was a kiss, not a cleansing, searching kiss, not something done out of some sort of pity but just a kiss, almost casual, soft, like they'd done it a million times and might a million times more, "Good ... Harry-" he stammered, turning red before he laughed and started to back out of the room, "I mean, good day too, and good night and ... 'kay, going to go. "  
  
The left corner of Severus’s mouth turned up dramatically, more then a smirk, but in amusement, maybe even a little happy; not that he could afford such a concept. He watched the young man go, not adding anything more to the conversation. Harry seemed to be doing enough for the both of them.  
  
Harry just nodded once more, lingering by the door, "Okay ..." a quick, bright grin and the twitterpated boy half floated out of the room.


	3. Chapter 3

Lilith Oil was the subject of the day’s class. Students who had pets, were able to bring them in today, and those who didn’t, got them on loan from the magical care of creatures professor, Hagrid. As Lilith Oil was used to assist (or enhance, for those who already could) in the communication with animals. It wasn’t that one could speak with them in any common language, but on another level altogether. It always proved to be an interesting class, having toads tell their masters they disliked being picked up in a particular way. Or cats being annoyed by their master’s sleeping patterns.  
  
Harry walked in as usual almost late for class with Ron and Hermione who seemed to be in a bitter row at the moment. They handed in their rolls of parchment at Severus's desk, Harry sliding his across with an imperceptible smile before he sat in his seat, Hedwig on his shoulder.  
  
Severus gathered up the homework he had assigned from before, thumbing through it quickly to make sure everyone had handed one in. He would grade it later when he had a break. The instructions were on the board, as were the necessary ingredients, "Those of you who have cats, I suggest you use catnip rather then frankincense." He indicated to one of the middle steps in the lesson.  
  
Hermione made the adjustment in her notes and carried on, refusing to let Ron copy her work. Harry just sighed, shaking his head and starting on his own cauldron, he didn't look at Snape because he hardly trusted himself to, but knew Severus would have called him an idiot for staring all of a sudden like a lovestruck moron.  
  
There was a soft knock at the door and Harry looked back, the headmaster looked through the door, "Pardon the interruption, Harry? One moment please?"  
  
Harry frowned, confused and looked to Snape.  
  
Severus looked up as well, then to Harry, waving him off to whatever the headmaster wanted with him.  
  
Harry sighed and walked to the back of the room, disappearing for a moment before he returned with a huge smile and a new pet for the class, an enormous black dog who was wagging maniacally. He had apparently decided being on a leash was worth seeing his favorite human again for a day and trotted in with Harry proudly.  
  
Ron and Hermione grinned too, brightly, forgetting their squabble, "Snuffles!"  
  
Professor Snape however was not smiling, "Settle" he warned the Gryffindors. No one else had a dog. And his Slytherins were already getting worked up over the injustice.   
  
Harry and his dog walked to their spot, the dog was already giving Snape a mischievous look, tail thumping on the floor like a foot tapping a tempo. He was large enough that his shoulders could be seen over the table when he sat beside Harry on the floor.  
  
Hedwig gave a relieved hoot and flew out, much happier resting and mouse hunting in the owlery. All the other owls looked jealous.  
  
Severus took to walking around the room to see the student’s progress, "You will note, Mr. Crabb, the directions call for apple blossom, not actual apples." The Slytherin stopped pulverizing an apple, and started again. But making an example of one, worked well for others who might have misread the instructions as well.  
  
Harry looked elated to be with his dog again and grinned as he read the potions instructions to him in a low voice, the dog nudging certain bottles between snapping his teeth at Draco Malfoy's white Persian.  
  
"Have a care with your pet" Severus said smoothly, coming up behind Harry’s table, "restrain your dog’s aggressive behavior, or I shall do it for you."  
  
Harry nodded, all three of the Gryffindors fighting to keep straight faces as Harry chastised his dog, "Sorry, Sir, he's just excited to be out ..."  
  
Padfoot wagged his tail back and forth, eyes just daring Snape to get within nipping range.  
  
Returning to the front of the room, Severus began going through the papers as the students worked, it would take them at least half the class time provided to make the oil, and the other half would be dedicated to the actual communication. "Whichever of you finish first" he barely glanced at Hermione, "Notify me first before you start testing it on your animal."   
  
Hermione nodded and continued, Crookshanks hopping down to curl up with the giant black dog who put his chin on the desk, glaring at Snape with immense gold-brown eyes. _Snivellus. Snivellus._  
  
Severus completely ignored the dog (and Harry) now, dedicated to grading the papers.

Fifteen minutes later, Hermione raised her hand, "Professor?"  
  
Again, Severus finished the last of his thoughts of comment on a particular piece of paper before he looked up, "Yes, miss Granger?"  
  
"I'm finished my potion." She held Crookshanks, eager to get to the next phase.

Padfoot, meanwhile, was licking Harry's hair, making it stand up in a sort of mohawk.  
  
Severus stood and crossed to the Gryffindor’s table to check the consistency of the oil, "Very well, when it cools to a tolerable state, smooth the oil" he indicated on her ginger haired cat, but not touching him, "along the length of his neck, across his lips, and behind his ears. Do the same to yourself, and record the contents of your conversation."  
  
Hermione nodded, writing down the instructions and then waiting for the oil to cool. Harry was laughing, trying to keep the dog from sucking on his hair anymore, "Snuffles ..." The dog started trying to hop up in his lap like a little Chihuahua.  
  
Ron, meanwhile piped up, looking at his tiny owl, "Um ... what if our animal doesn't have ears? Or lips?"  
  
"Mr. Weasley" Severus eyed the boy who apparently didn't know anything about his pet, such as his pet rat being the dark lord’s servant in disguise, and that, "Birds in fact do have ears, they reside under small feathers, just behind the animal’s eyes. As for lips, they do have a beak, a mouth, do they not?"  
  
"Well ... yeah but-" Harry LAUGHED, his glasses being licked RIGHT off his face by Padfoot, "you said ... lips. You know, lips ... I just ... nevermind." Hermione was already writing down what she and Crookshanks were whispering.  
  
Snape turned his attention to Harry, peering into the young man’s cauldron. "Mr Potter, you are at least three stages behind everyone else." Even behind Goyle, which was saying something.  
  
Harry nodded, wrestling the exuberant black dog off of him. The dog still hugged him, snuggling Harry almost possessively _my boy. My boy_. Padfoot looked up at Snape and growled low in his throat as he leaned over the cauldron. Harry just nodded, still without his glasses, stirring the potion.  
  
Malfoy glared down at his own unresponsive cat, "You never do anything."  
  
Severus was more then a little agitated with the presence of the black dog. _He has no right to disturb my lessons, to distract Harry from getting his work done_. He quietly fumed, walking over to the Slytherin table. "May I, Mr Malfoy?" Severus said in relationship to handling the white cat.  
  
Malfoy shrugged, handing the cat over as he waited for his potion to cool.  
  
Severus picked up the cat, at arms length, evaluating his health as he looked into the cat’s eyes, _too much inbreeding_.  
  
Ron was now coating his owl in oil, trying to find it's ears, and Harry had finished his potion, blowing on it to cool it. Ron started talking with the owl, exclaiming first off, "Well I'm sorry! I can't see your bloody ears now can I?"  
  
Harry dissolved into giggles and the white cat just yawned, turning to get back to Draco.  
  
Snape put the animal back down on the table before Draco, "Carry on." There was nothing wrong with the cat, except for perhaps being a little ornery, and board, wanting attention.   
  
The cat walked back to Draco quickly, curling up against him and purring quietly. Draco seemed a little more pleased and petted it's head.  
  
Harry was laughing even harder, his own lips shining a little with oil as he tried to put some on his dog's lips, "Stop licking it off! You're not supposed to drink this."  
  
Severus was counting the minutes for class to be over. He retreated back behind his desk.  
  
Nearly everyone seemed to be talking with their animals, Harry and Hermione had their quills enchanted to take everything down automatically and Ron looked like he was being berated by his mother.  
  
Snape seethed, he could only imagine what Black was telling Harry. It would either be the first, or the last of the transcripts he would read. If he read it last, then he would rush grading through the other’s work to get to it, if it were first, it would set his tone even more fowl, and grade the rest of the papers rather harshly.   
  
Harry had stopped laughing, it seemed he and the dog were talking about something very grave indeed.  
  
Students began to come up to the front of his desk, leaving their work for Snape to go over, which he did in order to distract himself from Black and Harry. "Five minutes" he warned.  
  
Hermione and a very exasperated looking Ron turned their pages in but Harry and the dog continued discussing something. Neither of them looked happy.  
  
Severus read Ron’s first, which was a touch of nonsense followed by becoming privy to pure gossip. Followed by Hermione’s, which of course proved to be a rather intelligent conversation.   
  
Everyone in the class had left now except for Harry and his dog. Dumbledore knocked again, "Harry? Hello, Severus, I'm afraid it's time for your friend to go home again."  
  
Padfoot bristled, looking over, directly at Snape. He left Harry's side, squaring off with the desk, starting to growl a little before Dumbledore called him. "Padfoot."  
  
 _Thank Merlin._ Severus had his fingers braced on the tabletop. If he were to be mauled by the dog, at least he would have witnesses? It was hardly comforting. "Mr Potter, your assignment." He was waiting.  
  
Harry stood, petting Sirius's shoulders before he hugged the dog, parchment in hand, murmuring something quietly to him.

The dog huffed and relaxed, hugging Harry before he turned his back on Snape, lumbering out in a foul mood. The headmaster smiled apologetically at Severus and left with the fugitive in disguise.  
  
Harry walked to the desk, sliding the parchment across with his good hand. "Sorry ..."  
  
Severus did not respond to sorry, only took up the parchment. "You will be late for transfiguration, I suggest you get going."  
  
Harry paused, "It wasn't my idea. I didn't know he was going to come here ..."   
  
"It does not matter. Your assignment is complete." And that was all that should matter. Snape waited for the boy to go.  
  
Harry stared at Severus for a moment, "Right," he turned on his heel and walked out, letting the door slam behind him.  
  
Severus sat down once more, unrolling the parchment, and began to read with growing anxiety.

> **HI! Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi!**   
>   
> _Hi yourself, how in Merlin's name did you get in here?_   
>   
> **Dumbledore! How are you? What have you been up to? What happened to your hand?**   
>   
> _Nothing, quidditch, I'm fine._   
>   
> **This is great! SNAPE'S a professor? Gods, I knew it, he'd never want to leave school. You know what we used to call him, right? _Snivellus._**   
>   
> _Oh._   
>   
> **What? That's a GREAT name, come on. Your dad and I used to flip him upside down, he had these HORRIBLE bloody boxers ... what?**   
>   
> _Nothing, it's just ... seems sort of ... stupid, that's all._   
>   
> **Stupid? You mean ... we should have done more? You're right, I always thought ...**   
>   
> _No, I mean - why do something like that? Why bother? Did he start it or something?_   
>   
> **No ...**   
>   
> _And if someone was acting that way right now towards me you'd want to cream them right?_   
>   
> **Harry, we were young! It was just fun, we all just had fun!**   
>   
> _He didn't do anything to you, and I know what you told me about him but he's been helping me. He's not as bad as you think, maybe he changed, I don't know, maybe he grew up._   
>   
> **What? What has he been helping you with?**   
>   
> _Just ... things. I can't say, but I'm actually getting along with him._   
>   
> **Oh, so ... so he's helping you now. You DO know he was a death eater?**   
>   
> _Yes! Yes, I know that, of course I know that. People can change, he's helping me and I think you should grow up a little!_   
>   
> **Grow up. You just told ME to grow up? What, he's been telling you stuff about me now?**   
>   
> _No! No one's said anything about you._   
>   
> **Harry, you don't know him ...**   
>   
> _I know him better than you think you do!_   
>   
> **He's a DEATH EATER! He will never NOT be one!**   
>   
> _He's GOOD. He's a good man, he's helping me and ... you're stuck in the past about this._   
>   
> **Wait ... you're ... Do you wish Lily made him your godfather instead? He'd probably do a better job ...**   
>   
> _Sirius ... that's just insane._   
>   
> **Class is over.**   
>   
> _Wait ..._   
>   
> **It's over.**

The paper had reached it's end.  
  
Severus put the parchment aside, clearing his desk. In his mind, Black was just the same. He thought about no one but himself. Snape went for an early lunch.

 

*            *            *

 

Snape had written a very polite, very reasonable, but very direct letter to Umbridge. It informed her that Harry had obligations to meet with him every Monday and Wednesday for remedial potions, and that on those days he expected Potter to show up on time, regardless of any detention she might have given him. Snape assured her that for Harry Potter, taking remedial potions with him would be just as loathsome for the young man as any detention. He also pointed out, that while detentions are often very useful for discipline cases, that Potter’s education should be taken into consideration, first and foremost, and that with the proper education, it would give way to proper discipline.   
  
Nevertheless, Harry was not there at the expected time for his lesson. Umbridge had watched the clock, deciding that tonight Mr. Potter could afford to stay up late doing potions, especially since he had arrived with such an inappropriate air of anger about him. Young people these days would never make sense, she decided, watching Harry write his lines over and over, noting with satisfaction that blood began to drip off of the desk top and onto the floor in small drops, pooling darkly.   
  
Harry had truly run out of skin on his hand and he hoped it would somehow make the carving stop, but the invisible blades just started moving up his wrist instead.  
  
Five minutes. Severus allowed for five minutes of tardiness for Harry to arrive before he knocked on the office door for the defense against the dark arts teacher. "Professor Umbridge" he said coolly.  
  
Harry looked up, blinking at the door. Sweat had started to drip down his forehead, into his eyes. For a moment he assumed he imagined the voice, but Umbridge rose primly, "Keep at your lines, this does not concern you." She rose and walked to the door, opening it only a little, not enough for Snape to see what Harry was doing inside, "Yes?" she asked sweetly.  
  
"Did you not receive my letter, professor?"   
  
She nodded, "Yes, I did. Thank you. Harry will be by nine."  
  
 _Fuck, another hour of this ..._ Harry looked at the wide, blue veins that began to bruise under the carving of the spell wondering how long they'd hold or what sort of disaster it would take for Umbridge to stop.  
  
"Ah- then it must have been an oversight on your part. Because nine will not do. You see, Potter will work to _my scheduling_ of when _I am available_. I believe I made myself clear in that regard. He is to come with me now."  
  
Umbridge just twisted her lips into a saccharine smile, but it grew tight. "In the future I will take that under consideration, but Harry's detentions began long before I was informed of any remedial potions lessons, Snape."  
  
"Professor, Umbridge. It is appropriate for you to address me by my title. _I have earned it_."   
  
"Nine o clock. Thank you, good night."  
  
Severus’s hand was firmly on the door, keeping it open, leaning against it until it swung open violently, slamming against the wall. "Now. Potter. You are with me." Severus was not one to be dismissed. Only two people could, and only one of them had actually earned that right.  
  
Harry gasped quietly, looking between the two professors before he set the pen down on the bloody desk with a shaking hand and stood.

"Mister Potter. Sit down. I told you to continue your lines," Umbridge warned sharply.  
  
"And I, a head of house, told him to come with me. Potter. Now."  
  
Harry didn't even look at her, he just stooped down, picking up his things and walking towards the door.

Umbridge crossed her arms, standing in the doorway and facing Harry, "Sit down, or you will force me to increase the severity of your punishments and I will have to report Professor Snape to the board of Education for his utter breach of protocol."  
  
"Report me, my dear woman?" Severus actually laughed, and it was a wicked thing.   
  
Harry looked up at Snape, and swallowed, walking to the door, looking past Umbridge like she didn't exist, but the woman didn't move, she faced Snape again, outraged, "Yes! You refuse to acknowledge that I already had Mr. Potter's time booked for the detention he earned!"  
  
Severus looked to Harry for a moment, "Wait in my office, I will be down directly. We have a few things to clear up." Severus stepped closer to Umbridge, his eyes narrowed upon her dangerously, "Now Professor Umbridge, between the two of us, I am the seasoned faculty member. I am the one entrusted to be a head of house, of which I might add, have graciously given you permission to use some of my students for your investigational squad. Now, would you like me to cite the breech of protocol on your part? Perhaps the bit about excessive disciplinary action in the form of abuse that has in fact been outlawed since the 18th century?"  
  
Umbridge seemed to acknowledge that she was at least matched in this case and begrudgingly let Harry step around her. "Tomorrow, the same time, Potter. Remember that your punishment is no one's business but your own." It sounded like a standard goodbye from her and Harry just laughed, shaking his head at her and walking off, left hand and wrist wrapped in his sweater sleeve, still dripping after him as he left Snape to deal with Umbridge. For a moment he wished he could turn Remus on her too, on a bad night.  
  
When Harry left, the door was closed behind him, leaving Umbridge alone with Snape. No witnesses. Not a brilliant idea on her part. "Professor, I have one last thing I would like to say to you." Snape used a minor, virtually undetectable memory charm against Umbridge, planting her mind with a new truth. That Harry Potter had already served all of his detentions, and did not provoke her further to warrant more. "Good night professor." Severus spoke with his usual command as she stood there still absorbing the new memory.  
  
Umbridge just nodded, a little bemused, "Yes, goodnight ..." she blinked, trying to remember what she'd been talking to him about.

Severus took his leave, regretting now that he probably should have mentioned that she remember her manners when addressing other members of faculty. Ah well, he walked down to his office, letting himself in, more then a little pleased.  
 

*               *               *

  
Harry was sitting in the chair in front of Severus's desk, his head on the cool, smooth wood. He straightened and looked back at his professor questioningly, arm wrapped in the sweater that he took off. Harry swallowed, bare-chested and explained, "Didn't want to bleed on your floor."  
  
Severus sighed deeply, "Had a _professional_ talked with Umbridge, she has released you of any further detentions you might have earned."   
  
Harry blinked, confused, "What? I don't have to go back?"   
  
"Yes, that is correct. Now, you can either go up to see the school nurse about that hand, or wait until I get back to attend to it."  
  
"I'll wait," he looked down, "thanks ..."  
  
"Very well." Severus was slightly flustered by this attitude, and left Harry in his office, needing to report to the headmaster regarding what he had done to Umbridge, should any trouble arise.   
  
His hand ached sharply, throbbing, and Harry stood, trying to pace his way through it, at least to distract himself.  
  
But there it was. The silver-white temptation in a bowl. A memory already floating near the top, it was more predominate then the others, because Severus associated the memory with a new one. Harry, like Lily, had stood up for him, and he, Severus, had been less then appreciative, at the time.  
  
He paced closer, peering into the bowl through the burning that traveled up his left arm. Again, Harry bent lower over the bowl, curious, tilting his head.  
  
And what a temptation it was. _Sitting in the Great Hall, Snape, along with Black, Potter, Lupin, Pettigrew, Evans and other peers were taking their O.W.L. levels of defense against the dark arts. They were young, they were Harry’s age, and to be honest, not much else was different._   
  
Harry leaned closer, curious, his heart pounding as he fell to the floor, grunting before he looked up, at the memory around him. _His father ... no, him, no, his father ... Sirius was right, they looked almost identical._ Harry stood, walking over, eyes wide, smiling a little as he saw _his dad, Remus, Sirius ... and then ... oh._ Harry smiled a little, lopsidedly at _Severus hunched over his desk, nose almost to the paper. Youth looked strange on him._  
 _  
Snape, the boy who had known more hexes and jinxes coming in as a first year, then many seventh years, was writing volumes on the subject. His writing was small and cramped to fit everything in that he had to say. Snape was hunched over his work, arm along one side so that no one could attempt to copy.   
  
James and Sirius however were apparently already done, confident enough in their work that they could lounge back in their chairs and communicate to each other through hand gestures. _   
  
Harry grinned a little, he'd seen Hermione adopt the same posture more than once, assuming Ron and Harry were trying to look, which of course they were. _Remus shook a cramp out of his hand, looking thin and a little peaky, perhaps it was close to the full moon, but he finished._ Harry couldn't help but laugh as the girls around Sirius made eyes at him and his young godfather just looked back at Remus, winking.  
 _  
When the examinations were collected, and the students dismissed, the marauders went on to discuss their reactions to some of the questions, mostly those regarding werewolves. The leader, Potter began to boast how he would likely get oustandings, and that all of this was really a waste of time anyway.   
  
Snape however walked off separately, double checking the schedule for the time and place of the next O.W.L. and the subject he should prepare for._  
  
Harry was torn, watching after his father and friends, but also after Snape who seemed relieved that the next exam would be potions. Only Snape would be relieved that it was potions. _Severus's hair hung to his shoulders, not as greasy as it was in later years, even a little shiny. The green tie around his thin neck was the most color Harry had ever seen him wear._  
  
 _The entire class seemed to be making their way outside for fresh air after being inside for so long. Severus’s pupils dilated, but his black eyes remained, blinking with some sensitivity to the light.  
  
James was tossing and catching up a snitch he apparently had stolen. It should be noted, because it was Snape’s memory, that these were all in fact things that the Slytherin student had actually heard, even if he was ignoring the Gryffindors.   
  
It was all there. No detail too small for remembrance._  
  
Harry looked with Severus, seeing James there, wondering if Severus saw the resemblance every time he looked at Harry. All things considered, he wasn't bad looking, not anywhere near what Sirius looked like, but ... Harry swallowed, realizing he was looking at Snape again, at the bizarre smoothness of his skin, the white and black of his hair and eyes.  
  
 _Potter and Black’s boredom grew, and Severus seemed to understand it as his time to leave the scene. But too late. James had instigated it, "Alright there, Snivellus?"  
  
Being addressed was the only warning Snape was given, but it was apparently enough for him to reach for his wand, in one fast fluid movement that was only matched by James readiness to disarm him. Snape’s wand went flying, disarming the Slytherin. _   
  
Harry turned, wand out, surprised. He knew they didn't like each other but Snape wasn't even doing anything to them, only someone like Malfoy would ... Sirius followed James, smirking.  
  
 _A stream of swearwords and hexes poured from Snape’s mouth, which was all quite useless without his wand.  
  
James seemed amused, "Tisk, such language Snivelly … need to wash that mouth out for you, scourgify!"   
  
Soap bubbles poured from Snape’s mouth, frothing from his lips, looking something like a mad animal, but it was making him gag, choking him.  
  
Sirius laughed, "'Bout time he had an accident involving a bar of soap, from the look of his hair he might be allergic."_

Harry stepped between them, disgusted at them, "What the hell are you ... what are you doing to him!?" He snapped, red in the face, "Leave him-"  
  
 _"LEAVE HIM ALONE!" A girl with dark red hair to her shoulders, wearing a Gryffindor tie strode over with her wand out, green eyes just as furious as Harry's.  
  
James held his spell on Snape, holding the man at bay as he pushed his fingers through his hair casually, "All right, Evans?" His tone changed, suddenly quite charming.   
  
"What did he do to you!? Let him go RIGHT now!" She pointed her own wand at Snape, and even Sirius looked a little wary.  
  
"Well-" James began as if he were giving a lecture on the issue, "it’s more that fact that he exists, if you know what I mean …"  
  
"I swear, Potter if you don't leave him alone I'm going to turn you inside out and ..."  
  
Sirius nudged James, looking a little sheepish.  
  
James smiled charismatically, "How about you date me? Then I won’t bother ole Snivelly again."  
  
"I'd rather date the giant squid."  
  
James tisked, looking to Lily, even though his wand was on Severus, at least where he thought the Slytherin was.   
  
Snape had by now retrieved his wand, and in a flash of light, a gash appeared across the side of James’s face. A second flash of light, and Snape was hanging upside down in the air, his robes falling over his head. Not unlike what some death eaters were known for doing.  
  
Lily looked over, angry, but bleeding was worse than being upside down. Still, she persisted, "Potter, let him DOWN. NOW. I mean it."  
  
"Certainly." James tried to impress her by following her directions now._  
  
 _Snape fell to the ground in a massive heap of legs and clothes, he scrambled to his feet only for Sirius to hex him, ridged, down to his knees.  
  
Lily glared at Sirius, "That's it. that's IT!" She yelled at James, "You think you're so cool don't you? Messing your hair up so that it looks like you just got off your broom? It doesn't! You're nothing but a common bully, the BOTH of you!"  
  
"Ah Evans, come on-" James tried to reason with her, but looked over to Sirius for him to release Snape. "There you go."   
  
Snape struggled to his feet once more, fuming.  
  
"You’re lucky Evan’s was here, Snivellus-"   
  
The words were out of his mouth before he could master his anger and embarrassment, "I don’t need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!"   
  
"Apologize to Evans!" James roared, pointing his want to Snape, threateningly.   
  
Lily stared at him, just blinking before she replied coldly, "Fine," she nodded, stepping back, wand lowered, "Next time I won't step in. Trust me."_  
  
Suddenly, Harry could see the resemblance between himself and his mother.   
  
_"Evans!" James had shouted after Lily when she turned to leave, no longer concerning herself. "Ugh! What’s with her?" he asked Sirius.  
  
Sirius shrugged, "Dunno, but if you ask me she might think you're immature ..."  
_

_"Right." There was another flash of light and Snape was turned up into the air again, dangling by his heels, it was no surprise he'd take it out on Snape, "Who wants to see me take off Snivelly’s pants?" James was upset that Lily was ignoring him, well, now he’d get everyone else’s attention as Severus was stripped._  
  
Harry turned away, completely disgusted, ready to just walk out of the memory with his mother.  
  
Fingers like talons tugged into the back of Harry’s shoulder and neck, yanking back on the young man, making Harry face him, Severus was more then a little shaken that Harry could show such betrayal, by diving into his memories, uninvited. He just held the boy, unable to manage any words at first, "Amused?" he sneered coldly.  
  
Harry blinked, falling back against Severus's grip and went completely pale, "I ... I ... no .." he stammered, knowing instantly how bad this looked, "I just ... I walked by and saw my dad ... I didn't mean to, I'm sorry, I've never even seen him before or heard him and I couldn't ... I'm sorry." This was already one of the worst days he could remember.  
  
Severus was shaking slightly as he gripped Harry, face white, eyes like black fire, intense. "You will speak of it to no one!" He didn't know what else to do other then yell.  
  
"Course not ... I'm sorry, I ... I'm sorry, I just wanted to see him ..." He let Severus shake him, not angry at all, not feeling entitled to feel anything but ashamed and like he'd gotten exactly what he deserved; the truth about his dad.  
  
Rage burned in Snape’s ears, deafening him, some wounds never healed. Severus let go of Harry abruptly, "Get out of here."   
  
Harry nodded, "Sorry ... I ... just, sorry ..." he swallowed and walked to the door, pausing, "I don't want to be ... like that, like him. Again, sorry ..." If Harry could have, he would have crawled out of the room, but all he could do was walk, and let the door close behind him quietly.  
  
With Harry gone, Severus clenched his fingers, wanting nothing but to overturn the pensive, destroy everything in sight. But Severus committed himself to only one act of pure rage. His fist through the door, splintering on the other side, the wood looked burned, singe to fragile coals around his wrist, falling to the floor. Severus had just yelled once, furious. He pulled his hand back through, holding it to his chest quietly, letting the anger pass through him.

 

*            *            *

 

The next morning, a letter was delivered to Harry by Hedwig.   
  
_Future education regarding your father should be taken up with your godfather. I have nothing kind to say about that man, and you deserve better. However, if you wish to talk about your mother, I would be honored to do so. One idiotic day and words said in anger do not properly reflect the nature of our actual friendship. I am sorry for what you saw, for many reasons, but I do not wish to talk about it further. Yesterday is over. Let it not effect today.  
  
SS_  
 

*               *               *

 

A note was found on Snape's desk after Harry missed potions, put there during the class.

_Harry Potter will not be in class today. He doesn't have much of an excuse, he just won't be there. If he went, he probably would have done something foolish. He stayed up late trying to sort out the truth about his father with Lupin, and he's still not sure what to think. He thinks this note is a bad idea. Do I still have a lesson tonight?_

_\- H_  
 

*               *               *

 

 

_You have no obligation to come. Your education is your own. If it is important to you, I shall be in my office.  
  
SS _

  
*               *               *  
 

At 8:01 pm, Harry knocked on Snape's door.   
  
"Come in." Severus was calm once more, not even a flicker of the furious man from the night before remained.   
  
There was a pause and the door opened, Harry stepping in very quietly. He was paler than usual, hand bandaged amateurishly, much thicker than usual and half hidden under his long sleeve. The boy looked haunted and tired, shadows hovering under his dark eyes. "Hi ..."  
  
"Come in-" Severus said again, gently upon seeing the young man, "sit down."   
  
Harry walked around the large chair sheepishly and sat down, slouching, his shoulder blades against the back of the black chair, eyes down. He felt, for the first time in Severus's office, like he was in Dumbledore's office; in the company of someone he hated to disappoint. "Thanks."  
  
Severus watched the boy’s body language, "Well Harry-" he took a shallow breath, then sighed, "how would you like to proceed with things between us?" He was giving the young man a choice.  
  
Harry took a deep breath, asking himself for the first time, _what would my mother have done?_ "I want to apologize."   
  
Severus was quiet for a moment, then shook his head. "Thank you Harry. I am a private man, and what I chose to share with people, I like to do so on my own terms."  
  
"I wasn't thinking," he murmured, looking down at his hands, "I only have one picture of either of them and I don't remember them at all, so when I saw ..." he sighed, shaking his head, "I just didn't think. I'm sorry."  
  
"I accept your apology Harry. Thank you." Severus watched the young man, neither of them saying anything for a moment.  
  
Harry looked up, taking a deep breath, "I was wondering if you would do me a favor?" He put his clumsily bandaged hand on the desk, "Ron ... isn't cut out to be a healer."  
  
"Of course Harry." Severus stood, moving around the desk while the necessary supplies he summoned flew in from the next room, landing on the desk in a row. Severus began to unwrap the bandages with extreme consideration.  
  
Harry relaxed a little, despite the jolts of pain up his arm when his hand moved. This was familiar, not so awkward at least. "All I got the chance to do was rinse it under the sink before Ron wrapped it up with the never-ending ball of muggle gauze George had stored under the bed from some ancient prank." He shrugged.  
  
Severus had his right hand palm up under Harry’s arm, so that Harry’s arm lay over the black of his sleeves, resting gently, supported as his left hand reached over, pulling out different ingredients then before. With no more detentions, meant that there was no longer a need for scarring. Severus covered his fingers in a thick paste, and began to smooth it over the skin, speaking a spell to numb his hand, making it feel like it had just been pulled out of a deep freeze.   
  
He gasped a little at the cold and then half closed his eyes as the pain evaporated, "Mmm ..." A little smile and he let his head sink forward, just resting his forehead very lightly against Severus's stiff shoulder.   
  
"You have not slept." Severus noted as he worked to heal Harry’s hand, almost able to do it with his eyes closed it was so familiar to him.  
  
"I couldn't," he confessed, swallowing.

Rather then asking if Harry wanted to talk about it (which Severus assumed Harry would do anyway when he felt like it), he suggested, "Perhaps now?"  
  
"Maybe," he murmured, yawning just a little against Snape's robes. Hesitantly, as though he were touching the mane of a twitchy black horse, Harry wrapped one arm around Severus, petting his hair very, very softly. "Thank you."  
  
Severus seemed to pay no mind that Harry was touching him. It was in direct relationship to the simple fact that he did not consider Harry a threat. Potter, Black, Voldemort – they were all threats, they made Severus hypersensitive, twitchy, nervous, on edge and defensive. Severus wrapped a light, breathable bandage around Harry’s hand. "Come along Harry, come lay down" he suggested, standing, his arm hooked around Harry’s back, pulling him upright.

Harry stood with him, sleepy, and nodded against his shoulder. For a second it felt like they were about to dance and the thought made him giggle quietly. "Okay ..."  
  
Severus walked Harry over to the couch, conjured a heavy blanket and wrapped it around Harry’s bare chest as he guided the young man to lay down.   
  
Harry clung to Severus for a second before he sank down against the couch, his green eyes closed gently. "You tired?" he murmured, arm still around Snape's neck.  
  
Severus was bent in half at the waist as Harry clung to him, "No, I am not tired." He touched Harry’s hip gently for balance.  
  
Harry smiled, opening his eyes, "Do you feel like keeping me company anyhow?"  
  
"If that is what you would like."   
  
He nodded, "I would ..." he brushed some hair out of Severus's eyes with his good hand, "is it possible to get so used to sleeping beside someone that you can't sleep when they're gone?"  
  
"It is possible." Severus thought this odd of Harry to mention, since Severus and Harry had only actually slept together the once, and therefore to Severus, there was nothing Harry should miss.  
  
"I'll try not to get too comfortable, then ..." he murmured, pulling Severus down slowly, then curling up with him on the couch.   
  
Severus stiffened, before he had been on the floor, now he was pushed up against Harry, keeping the Gryffindor between himself and the back of the couch. His hand remained on the young man’s hip, "Comfortable enough to sleep, I hope."   
  
Harry smiled, laughing a little as he rearranged his limbs with Severus so that they fit together and his head sank against Snape's shoulder again, eyes closing, "Mm, I think I can manage ... you alright?"  
  
"Yes." Severus said quietly as the young man curled against him. In his own way Severus had always protected the boy, but never before had he felt so protective _of_ him. It was a small distinguishing point, but for Severus, it clicked something in his mind.  
  
Harry sighed and smiled, "I'm not jabbing you with my pointy elbows or my knees or anything?"  
  
"No. Go to sleep."   
  
"Mmm okay, I ... mmm-" Harry mumbled, falling asleep with a smile, his breathing evened out and he made small, almost inaudible sleeping noises.

 

*               *               *

 

Harry was asleep in Snape’s arms. The Gryffindor would sigh through his nose, short and strained, very quietly as he slept, as he dreamed. "Harry-" Severus licked his own lips as he watched the young man, "Harry, it’s morning."  
  
"Mmm?"  
  
"Wake up." Harry (nor Severus) had the luxury of just laying about today, they had classes.   
  
Harry stretched slowly between Snape and the couch and he moaned, hugging Severus slowly, "Mmm ..." _hi ..._ He blinked, looking at Severus with barely open green eyes.  
  
Severus looked as though he hadn't moved at all in the night, his arms and hands exactly where they had been when Harry slept on command.   
  
He smiled and looked up, leaning closer and kissing his cheek, hugging Severus, "What time is it?"  
  
Severus blinked. He was still not used to all this … cuddlyness, "Six forty-five."  
  
"Lots of time," Harry smiled, closing his eyes again.  
  
"You have to return to your common room, shower, dress, have breakfast, and be in class by seven fifty."  
  
Harry grinned, "Are you saying I smell?"  
  
"I’m saying you should start the day off as you would normally."  
  
He laughed, "Really?"  
  
"It is just a suggestion."   
  
Harry snickered and kissed Severus on the neck softly, "Suppose we have time for that ..."  
  
"Harry, please just say what you mean."  
  
"Want to have sex?" He smirked, kissing his neck again slowly. _Well, you told me to say what I mean_.  
  
"No. Now get up, it is a school day."   
  
Harry laughed, "No one is allowed to have sex in the morning on a school day?"  
  
"Sure, people are allowed. But I’m not going to."  
  
Harry sighed, "Fine ..." he looked at Snape expectantly, "You know, you have to get up first, you have me pinned."  
  
Severus pulled his hands off of Harry and rolled to one side before he pushed himself off the couch and stood, wiping the corner of his eye with a long finger, getting rid of a little crust that had collected there.   
  
Harry stretched and stood, keeping the blanket around him. "Alright, since you're so adamant, I'm stealing your shower ... where is it?"  
  
"This is my office Harry, there isn't a shower."  
  
Harry sighed, "Do you really want anyone to see me leaving your office looking exactly like we _did_ have sex?"  
  
"What you disclose to people is your own business Harry. But you cannot hide here. The most I can suggest is that you clean your bloodied sweater, dress and return to your common room."  
  
Harry just sighed, chucked the blanket onto the couch, "Fine, see you in class, then" he shook his head a little and left.

 

*            *            *

 

It was a study hall session, Ron and Hermione were grilling Harry about everything that had gone on lately, whispering over books, "So ... what did you and Snuffles talk about? He didn't seem happy."  
  
Harry sighed, rubbing his face, "Nothing, he's just ... a little depressed."  
  
Hermione arched a skeptical eyebrow, "Depressed? He seemed fine at the beginning of the class."  
  
Harry sighed, "It's fine," he whispered, "everything is fine, okay? Problems with ... Moony maybe. I don't know, but it's all fine."  
  
Even Ron looked skeptical but took notes for a moment, while Hermione looked at Harry's hand. "She should be fired, you know, it's not right to do that to students."  
  
Harry looked at her, "Right. You going to fire her?"  
  
Hermione rolled her eyes, "Dumbledore-"  
  
"Dumbledore has enough to worry about."  
  
She shook her head, snapping her book shut, "I think he'd want to know ... and you're being ridiculous!"  
  
Harry just put his head on his book, closing his eyes as she got up and handed her book to Snape.  
  
Severus accepted the book without any exchange of words between them. He had been hovering around the general area, the twins were up to something.   
  
Malfoy was also convinced that Potter was up to something, although his back was to Harry, he was listening with narrowed grey eyes.  
  
Ron grumbled, "Now you got her mad at both of us ... somehow."  
  
Harry just sighed, arm over his head, falling asleep again. The familiar corridor was before Harry once more, just ahead, a plain black door. Eagerness was imposed upon Harry, want and need, to open the door, to get through, to get to something. Harry's eyes widened and he moved closer, breathlessly, arm reaching out as he drew closer, almost close enough to touch the door now, his fingernails scraped the wood and the door began to give way and- "AHHH!" Harry yelled, gasping, his heart pounding and scar aching so hard that it felt like fingers were prying his skin apart. He jerked awake, in a cold sweat, pupils narrowed to pinpricks in his now almost black eyes as he fell out of the chair in a heap beside it.  
  
There was an awkward silence, stillness to everything in the study hall before Snape reached down and pulled Harry up to his feet. Handling Harry roughly in order to see his face, his eyes properly.   
  
Harry swallowed, his glasses had fallen off and his couldn't see clearly but the same black ooze collected around his scar, "Sorry ... Sir," he gasped, "fell asleep ..."  
  
"You aren't well." Severus summed Harry’s glasses to his hand, but did not return them to the young man, "Wipe your forehead." He directed, still grasping Harry by his shoulder, walking the boy out before him, leaving the watchful eyes of study hall.  
  
Harry wiped his forehead as Snape pushed him out of the study hall and put his glasses on, whispering, "What's in the department of mysteries?"  
  
"Where did you learn that name?"  
  
"There's something he wants in the department of mysteries, he's trying to open the door ... he keeps trying to push open the door ..."  
  
"You aren't supposed to be connecting with him." Severus reminded Harry.  
  
"If I can find out ... can't we get someone to cut him off ... to steal whatever he wants first?" He swallowed, still shaking a little.  
  
"It’s not your job to find out." Severus said plainly.   
  
"I'm the only one who can!" Harry stumbled and swore, righting himself.  
  
Severus yanked Harry into an empty classroom, casting a silencing charm against the door. "No Harry, you are not. It is not your responsibility to find out what he wants!"  
  
"You would! If he was forcing himself into YOUR head every night you'd want to find out too!"  
  
"Listen to me!" Severus implored, "We _know_ he wants something from the department of mysteries, the point is to _stop_ him from getting the chance to take whatever it is, _not_ to get it before him, what if that’s what he wants? Harry! It is **MY** job!"   
  
"It's your job? The more we know about what he wants and why the better! I'm not going to charge off after him, I'm not going to show him anything, I just want to know what the hell it is he wants in there so that we can stop him. Even if I couldn't see what he wants, he'd still want it right? And he'd want it to use against everyone!"  
  
"You _are_ Harry! You are charging off after him each time you allow these dreams to continue. It doesn't matter what it is he wants, only that he wants something, and we know that much, so we know to be prepared to stop him. Harry, my lessons are useless to you if you _want_ the dreams to continue, if you want him in your head!"  
  
"You're not making any sense!" Harry sighed, taking a deep breath, "How can we stop him if we don't know what he'll do next?"  
  
"Harry, we know he wants something from the department of mysteries, that is ENOUGH!"   
  
Harry stepped back, Snape's rage was overwhelming, far beyond anything he'd ever been able to provoke in him before. "Okay ..." he grumbled, "fine, I'm just trying to ... " he looked down, rubbing his scar.  
  
"Going to what? Keep disregarding me? Ignore my advice and still secretly welcome the dreams because it’s what you want? Because you think you have all the answers? Because you think you know best?"  
  
"Just trying to HELP! Gods, you think I wake up in the morning and my goal in life is to show you up or make you unhappy!?"  
  
"Harry-" Severus’s voice was strained, "the way you can help is by being a student, and not putting yourself out there, in harms way."  
  
Harry sighed, "But I'm not ... I'm not just a student and I never will be no matter how much I-" his voice shook and broke a little, "want to be. You don't think I want to be normal?"  
  
The silence was hard as Snape’s face. Some things did not change for Severus, not yet anyhow, he believed Harry liked the attention.   
  
Harry didn't need to be a legillimens to see that, "I don't see an upside to being famous, I don't see an upside to being a fucking orphan or Voldemort's punching bag. I don't know how the hell you do, exactly, imagine I get off on all this."  
  
Severus was not one to flinch, but he was made uneasy with Harry’s use of the dark lord’s name, as speaking it often meant invoking the man. He steadied himself, "It makes you special." The part of Voldemort in Harry wanted to be special, the part of James in Harry wanted to be the center of attention.  
  
"I DON'T WANT TO BE SPECIAL!" Harry turned, too angry to talk anymore and wrenched the door open, slamming it after him.  
  
Snape followed after the enraged Harry, it wasn't hard to do, all he had to do was follow the drops of black upon the floor, which he obliviated as he walked along.   
  
Harry's fists were clenched, jaw shaking it was locked so hard. He didn't know where he was going, he was just GOING, going away from Snape, away from the tenant assumption Snape made about Harry that enraged Harry the most, that somehow Harry asked for this.  
  
"Mr Potter. Stop yourself." Severus warned.  
  
"I didn't ask for this-" Harry growled back, still escaping.  
  
"Boy-" Severus’s voice strained to attach himself to any reason he still possessed, "I did not say that, _you_ did."   
  
Harry spun around, his eyes easily as black as Snape's, "You pretty much said I LIKED it, I ENJOYED it! LOOK at all those fucking pictures of me, am I smiling IN ONE OF THEM!? Have I ever said I'm glad my entire family is DEAD? You think you're the ONLY one to get singled out and bullied because you were different? Try being picked on by a newspaper reporter instead of a few boys your age!!! I DON'T ENJOY THIS!"   
  
"Those are _your_ words Potter, not mine."  
  
Harry shook his head, "You didn't need to say it." Tears escaped, streaking down his face, black powder suspended in the water.  
  
Severus watched the boy, not knowing what to do with him. He had fallen far indeed if all he could manage was a pathetic shouting match with a teenager. "Believe what you want then. Good day Potter."  
  
Harry just sat on the nearest step, head in his hands, crying. He really thought Snape understood him for a second.


	4. Chapter 4

Over break, Snape made an appearance at Grimmauld place, much to Sirius’s displeasure. It gave Ron a terrible fright, thinking that he was in trouble, and that Snape had come after him. But no, Hermione of course explained to the dense boy, that Snape was in fact a member of the Order of the Phoenix, and that of course he would have to come by to give his reports. Moreso now that the wizarding world was in a state of chaos. There had been a mass breakout from Azkaban prison, death eaters had returned to their lord and master.  
  
Harry was staying there too, he'd grown quiet and strange in the weeks before the break, quitting quidditch, spending most of his time in the dorm room by himself, just sleeping or appearing asleep. Even around his godfather, even though the two had made up, he was listless and uninterested in the holidays. Only really showing any life in him when Ron mentioned Snape had started coming around.  
  
"What do you mean he's ... around?"  
  
Ron shrugged, putting a shoe on, "He's around, he's started coming by. Hermione says it's just because he's in the Order but still, ugh."  
  
"He's not here now, is he?"  
  
Ron shook his head, "No, meeting ended an hour ago."  
  
Harry nodded and got up, pulling another sweater on. Ron sighed, "Apparently he looks worse than ever, George says Snape looks like a wind could snap him in half now." Harry opened the door, walking out, "That's nice."  
  
Two figures stood in the kitchen, they had been standing there for some time, silence oddly comfortable between them. Lupin leaned against the kitchen counter, drinking his tea, while Severus stood, head turned, looking at the sink drain. The two spies were working opposing ends of Voldemort’s power structure, but they had something in common, and for that moment, it was all that mattered.  
  
Lupin for once, looked better than Snape, healthier at least. He didn't say anything, the werewolf knew there was no point in saying anything but Snape looked like the human equivalent of an open wound. Something had clearly happened to the man, and Remus had the impression that someday, at some point, the formidable, icy exterior might crack and need to say something to someone. Not that he'd say anything to the "animal" drinking tea.  
  
Severus turned his gaze up from the drain, which had led him to thoughts of succubi and vampires, creatures who took and never gave back. He needed to steer himself away from that line of thinking. He looked out the window. He tried, he tried so hard. But he couldn’t manage, ‘ _Nice day_ ’ or ‘ _You are looking well_ ’ both of which were true. Severus finally turned his gaze to Lupin, looking at him in the eye, and not avoiding his eyes as he had after the night in the shrieking shack. The look was of apology, for wasting his time. He then turned for the closet by the black door, retrieving his scarf and gloves.  
  
"Severus ..." Lupin said quietly, swallowing.  
  
"Have a nice evening."  
  
There was a stretch of silence broken by slow footsteps descending the stairs and a tall, slight young man with dark hair walking into the kitchen, nodding at Remus, "Hey ..." His dull voice could have been a parody of Snape's just a moment earlier. Harry didn't look up, just opened the fridge and took an orange because nothing appealed to him but the orange was the closest.

Remus cleared his throat, "Nice to see you up again ..."  
  
Severus just stood there, wrapping his scarf around his neck in slow motion, extra quiet, extra still. _What’s wrong with him?_  
  
Harry nodded, sitting with his back to Snape, unaware he was even in the house as the man blended in perfectly with the shadows in the achingly gothic house.

Remus looked at Snape, and then to Harry, he and Sirius were completely at a loss to help Sirius's godson with whatever depression had blindsided the usually impassioned young man.

Harry put the orange on the table, just looking at it like it was too much effort to wrestle the peel away from the fruit.

Remus hoped after seeing Harry, maybe the dark, but sharp professor could give a little insight ... so he continued. "Do you want me to make you something? You haven't eaten since yesterday ... Sirius made Kingsley bring pizza by last night."

Harry shook his head, "No, thanks."  
  
Remus nodded, pouring a glass of milk anyway and setting it near Harry the way a wolf would drop food near a sick cub, watching him with a tilted head to see if he'd take it.  
  
"Hermione was thinking of getting some Christmas shopping done, she's going to Diagon Alley in an hour I think, if you're feeling up to it ..."  
  
Severus walked up behind Harry, his hand reached out and took up the orange, pulling it back out of view, peeling it, and then breaking it in half before setting it back on the table before the boy once more.  
  
Remus looked up at Snape, surprised. Harry just sat very still, staring at the orange with unnaturally white lips parted.  
  
"I thought the meeting was over ..." he murmured, not looking back but not shoving Severus away or storming out either.

"It was, an hour ago." Whatever spare time Severus spent at headquarters had nothing to do with obligation.  
  
Harry moved his gaze from the parted orange to Snape's hand, his wrist, up his arm and finally to his face. His eyes were green, but dull and rimmed with red under his glasses, "Oh ..." he nodded quietly, struggling to add something, anything that wasn't another exhausting bout of tears, "nice day out."  
  
"Have you gone outside?" Severus said in a voice that was hushed, private, they could have been in the middle of a busy London street, but his tone was for just the two of them.  
  
Remus excused himself very quietly and backed out of the kitchen, closing the door behind him. Whatever Severus was doing seemed to be working, and he didn't want to risk stumbling in with some idiotic comment that would make Harry clam up again. Harry shook his head, "Not lately but ... I have a window upstairs ..."  
  
"Ah- a window doesn’t count. You have to feel the winter sunlight, it is lovely."  
  
The word lovely made the corners of Harry's mouth twitch and he looked away for a second, throat tight, but he nodded. "I'll try to get out."  
  
"What are you doing now, aside from staring at the orange?"  
  
He laughed and wiped his eyes, feeling as insane as his godfather sometimes looked. "I don't know," he admitted honestly, "I really, really don't know. You?"  
  
"Right now, I’m inviting you to join me outside."  
  
Harry looked up, suddenly feeling grubby. He hadn't bothered bathing or showering, there was no reason, all he did was lay in bed and sleep, really. "I ... could do that," he nodded, adding, "the orange can come too, right?"  
  
"Might be best."  
  
"Right," Harry actually smiled, "I'll just go ... brush my teeth and be right down." He stood, watching Severus over his shoulder as he left the room and then pounded up the stairs, jogging.  
  
Severus sat in Harry’s chair, both hands on the tabletop, nervously rubbing his thumb nails together, waiting.  
  
Five minutes later he came down, wearing clean clothes, teeth brushed, still not looking his best but at least ready to go outside. He seemed a little out of breath as he walked closer to the kitchen, "Okay ... still want to go outside?"  
  
Severus stood, "Yes" he unwrapped his scarf from around his own neck, already slightly warm, and began wrapping it around Harry’s neck instead as he went to the door, letting them both out.  
  
Harry touched the scarf with his left hand, the words 'must not tell' still scarred there over and over, redder than the rest of his skin. "Thanks," he murmured, stepping outside into the back gardens of Grimmauld place.  
  
Severus pushed his hands into his pockets as they walked. Snape usually walked with his head high, without fear. But the truth was, he feared he had hurt Harry, worse then any curse, or any scar. He looked to the undisturbed snow as it crunched beneath their feet.  
  
Harry shoved his hands into the pockets of his muggle coat, dark blue with a big hood, an early Christmas present from the Weasleys that Mrs Weasley had covered him with when he was sleeping to try to cheer him up a little. All he felt when he woke up with it was thoroughly ungrateful and like giving it back because he didn't deserve something like that from them. It felt a little better now, outside. "You're right, it's nice ..." The sun shone through Harry's unwashed, dark hair, lighting it almost red as they passed under leafless, ancient black trees.  
  
After several more strides, Severus ruined the peace, "Why haven’t you been eating?"  
  
Harry looked up at the trees. "I haven't felt hungry," he said, telling the truth, "you don't look like you've been eating much either."  
  
"No, I haven’t felt hungry either."  
  
"You must be busy."  
  
Severus wiped off snow from a bench made of black marble, and sat, room enough for the two of them, or an invisible third between them. "Still have the orange?" He wasn’t addressing work.  
  
Harry sat, letting the invisible third have his space between them as he pulled the orange out, "Want some?"  
  
"A piece, if you are willing to share."  
  
Harry smiled a little, breaking off a piece and offering it to Snape without looking at him, "It's a big orange."  
  
Their similarly cold fingers brushed as Severus took the slice into his hand, "Thank you."  
  
Harry licked his lips, pulling his hand away, taking his own slice. A frozen pond lay just in front of them, large and lined with grey rocks, a frozen fountain in the middle that must have been beautiful in the warmer seasons. "No problem." Harry broke off a piece of the slice and ate it, for some reason the taste brought tears to his eyes and he hoped they would freeze before they fell.  
  
Snape’s heart cracked, and to the spy, it felt like a dry tree limb snapping in half. He fell to one knee, then the other before Harry, not daring to touch the boy, but still reaching out, his hand just inches from the side of his face, "Harry-? Harry, have I done this to you?"  
  
Harry stopped breathing, surprised, "Don't."  
  
"Harry- If I have done this to you-"  
  
"Don't ..." he shook his head, disturbed, "Don't ... get up, get up off your knees, I don't want you on your knees like this, okay?" He sounded almost panicked.  
  
Severus swallowed, but stood, honoring Harry’s request. "Harry-" There was really nothing else to be said, but, "I’m sorry."  
  
Harry took a deep breath, looking away and letting it out, trying hard to be a man about this. "Sit down again, please."  
  
Severus sighed, and sat, looking down to the snow and he imprint he had made.  
  
Harry breathed a few more times, his dark hair was shorter than it had been a month and a half ago. He'd chopped it off himself, and then Mrs. Weasley insisted on fixing it a little. Harry couldn't say what made him do it at the time. "It's not just ... what happened," his throat closed sharply and he had to wait a second before continuing, "between ... us. " He took his glasses off, putting them beside him on the bench so that he could rub the wet from his eyes with the heels of his palms before speaking again, "It's alot of things. Things ... that happened before, things since ... " His stomach churned again, hard, feeling heavy and acidic like some cursed stone left in his body. He nodded, but wasn't able to look at Snape. "Sleeping," he started, "I ... stopped sleeping. First just a night, then two nights, then-" he laughed in disbelief, "a week and then I thought maybe that was a good idea, not sleeping. No sleep, no dreams, right? So I started taking things, potions, just over the counter things to help me stay awake."  
  
"When? When did you start to do this?"  
  
"After we ... when I didn't see you anymore. Not during."  
  
"And since? What has happened to you Harry?"  
  
Harry imagined swans, black swans on the pond in the summer swimming around the falling water of the fountain. "I stayed awake for a few weeks, but I wasn't feeling well," he shrugged, "of course. I was shaking all the time, I couldn't write properly, it looked like a six year old had done it. I was in quidditch practice and I actually started ... doing stupid things. I scared myself so I quit playing ... which no one liked except Malfoy, of course."  
  
"Had done what, Harry?"  
  
"Stupid things, judgment mistakes ... losing my temper, then just seeing how close I could come ..." he drifted off, "I quit before I came too close."  
  
Severus leaned forward on his knees, hands folded together, fisted together, _foolish boy_. "And why did you quit?"  
  
"I might have hurt someone," he sighed, "I wasn't in any shape to fly and-" he looked at Snape, " I just didn't ... care about it anymore."  
  
Severus probably wasn’t helping, but he spoke when he had something to say, "Not really the end-all be-all of life, is it? A game. Still … seems like something that might have helped to distract you, create for yourself moments and joy and excitement."  
  
He nodded, "Like I said, only Malfoy was happy about it. He told me so." Harry shifted on the bench.  
  
"So you made a choice, you saw how it played out. Now what? What do you choose for yourself?"  
  
"He started following me around, kept coming up and talking to me when no one was looking. He even seemed nice."  
  
Severus paused, "Excuse me?"  
  
"He said he wanted to be friends," Harry just sounded colorless, "I thought maybe it was just not sleeping for a few weeks, that I was hallucinating, but he kissed me."  
  
Severus pushed his face into the palm of his hand. _Right then. It’s not about me. It’s about what happened to him._ "Was that all?"  
  
"I broke his nose and walked away."  
  
"Are you telling me the truth?"  
  
Harry looked at him, "Go ahead and check."  
  
"You’re inviting me?"  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
Severus took Harry up on his offer. He did not tear into Harry’s mind, he was careful, but thorough.  
  
 _Harry in a hallway, almost ill, sleepless, Draco coming up to him with a sly look in his grey eyes. "Potter?" They talked more, Draco moving closer and closer, leaning into Harry who just looked over Draco's shoulder with dull eyes as the blonde boy touched Harry's chest and then, then he leaned in, pinning him to the wall with a slow, hot kiss.  
  
Harry's eyes didn't close, he tried to turn his face away, Draco caught his chin, turning it and forcing him into another one, other hand grabbing Harry's wrist as he kissed him.  
  
"St-" Draco kissed him again and Harry's fists clenched, he just closed his eyes before SHOVING him back and slamming his fist into the boy's perfect nose.  
  
_ Severus pulled at the thin strings of Harry’s mind, searching for others related to Draco, possibly another encounter, when it was more then just a kiss. _  
  
Harry outside, breath frosting, his eyes half closed, looking drowsy and thin and weak and then hands on his collar, Harry's back against the wall, "Potter ... stupid of you to hit me like that ..."  
  
Harry opened his eyes, slow to react, shoving, hands colliding, fists swinging, Harry's belt being undone quickly. "GEToff ..."  
  
_ So it was more. Severus pushed Harry further, he needed to know. _  
  
Harry screamed, yelling out for help as Draco started to jerk his trousers down and run his hands inside, fingers slipping into Harry's underwear, groaning. "Comeon, relax, you'll like it ..."  
  
Harry struggled, panicking like a shot deer.  
  
Draco started groping him under Harry's underwear, kissing his neck, biting as Harry struggled and then managed to get Draco's wand away from him, jamming it against his stomach, "Expelliarmus!!!"  
  
Draco was blasted back enough for Harry to move away, hexing him again, blasting the blonde boy against a tree. "If you EVER come near me again ... I'll finish you, got it?" _ _Draco was holding his head, gasping, bleeding from his bitten tongue, "You wouldn't dare ..."_

 _Harry snapped Draco's wand in two, throwing it aside as he fixed his trousers and backed away, retreating into the castle, pausing outside of Snape's office, his face scratched from Draco's nails.  
  
The boy put a hand on the door then swallowed, turning away, going up to the tower and rummaging through his dresser drawers until he pulled out a bottle and drank deeply, laid down and closed his eyes, sobbing into the pillow._  
  
Severus’s features grew colder, harsher, like his heart. Inwardly, a part of him was tearing out his own hair. While another part took up Harry by his wrist to have Dumbledore cast a powerful memory charm over Harry. Another part still, lay the blame entire upon himself for not being what the boy needed. Part of him wanted to kiss the boy, the other part wanted to slap him. But still he dug, searching to see if there was another encounter.  
  
There was none, just glares across classrooms, a mocking, threatening note slipped into Harry's books before he left for Grimmauld Place.  
  
"Sleeping potions," Harry explained, "I started taking sleeping potions so that I wouldn't dream."  
  
Severus pulled out of Harry’s mind, looking to the imprint at his feet once more, where he still belonged, asking for forgiveness. He nodded his understanding.  
  
"I tried just muggle stuff but I had to start taking the draught of dreamless sleep so ..." he sighed, "I had to learn to make them. If I'm shut off completely, Voldemort has nothing to break into."  
  
Severus nodded again, looking at him with a quiet, tired sigh. Harry wasn’t supposed to become like him, he was supposed to stay pure.  
  
Harry looked down, "It's not all ..." he still could barely say the word, "us. Like I said it's a lot of everything." _But it's mostly us. I could have handled everything else._  
  
"I am to blame for the rest as well." Severus shook his head, not feeling very smart, very strong, very good, "So what is next Harry? Drug yourself until one day you do not wake up? Let the world, and the people in it manipulate you? Surrender?" His voice strained, "What do you want?"  
  
Harry looked over, finally, "Isn't it obvious?"  
  
"What do you want, Harry?" The question remained.  
  
A last shred of Gryffindor courage forced it's way through. The sun was going down, leaving an orange glow in the sky behind the trees. "You."  
  
"How much?"  
  
Harry laughed dangerously, tears rolling over his cheeks again before he leaned over and kissed Severus.  
  
The spy closed his eyes. Severus touched his hand to Harry’s back, pulling their bodies closer to one another on the bench.  
  
At the touch Harry gasped, letting out a short, shaking sob against Severus's lips, both arms going around him, hugging him tightly as they kissed like they hadn't seen each other in years, like they were going off to war.  
  
Touching his other hand to the side of Harry’s face, then around the back of his head, Severus held Harry this way.  
  
"Don't if you don't ... mean ... if ... I can't handle another ..."  
  
"Harry- I don’t know if I can give you everything you need, everything you want … but I shall try. The choice is entirely yours. If you do not like the risk" _then don’t play with Snape_ , "then it must end."  
  
Harry pulled away slowly, standing in front of Snape. "I have to think."  
  
Severus nodded, looking down, Harry standing on his imprint in the snow, on the ground, where he still believed he belonged.  
  
He took a deep breath, holding it. "Do you have to go soon?"  
  
Severus wished he could say yes, but the truth was spoken instead, "No."  
  
Harry took a deep breath, "I should go ... think because I can't think right now. I just can't think ..."  
  
"Take your time." Severus did not move to get up, his eyes were upon the sunset.  
  
He nodded, "I'll ... see you after dinner." Harry paused, almost taking the scarf off and giving it back to Snape, but he just walked back to the house as steadily as he could.  
  
Severus remained, he would not take back what he said. No one could make such a promise, least of all himself, that he might not hurt Harry again. He wouldn't even know that he had done it, he wouldn't even know that he broke his promise. Severus pressed his hand into the snow, then twirled his finger around, pulling it back up, making the snow melt just enough into ice, creating very small, two or three inch stalagmites. He did this absently, something to do. A game. For the time being, it took his mind off everything else.

 

*            *            *

 

It seemed that Remus and Mrs Weasley had high hopes of Harry wanting to eat something that night and the table was crammed with food. Even Sirius tried to help, mostly he chopped carrots and grilled Remus with questions about what Severus did, what he said, how, why, how much of the orange Harry ate ...  
  
Severus was making an army of ice sickles in the back yard, circling out from around the stone bench, squatting down in the snow like a child playing in the sand.  
  
"Severus?" Remus had stepped outside, trying to hex some blackened chicken Sirius had burned to a frying pan.  
  
Severus looked up quickly, then stood, "Yes?"  
  
"How long have you been out here? It's ... cold."  
  
 _How long have you been lingering on Sirius’s property, without permission?_ "Since sunset."  
  
"Aren't you freezing?" Remus stepped a little closer, arms crossing over his chest.  
  
 _I’ll see you after dinner._ Severus was waiting for Harry. "Does Black want me to leave?" Severus could just hear him, _Ugh! What is that greasy git doing in my yard!_  
  
"What? No ... um, we were actually wondering if you wanted to come in for dinner."  
  
 _Funny_. Severus waited for the punch line. There wasn't one. "What?"  
  
"Dinner?" Remus looked back at the house, wondering if he were mumbling again or something, "Do you want to come in for dinner with everyone? We have ... way more than enough food despite Sirius scorching half of it," Remus rolled his eyes.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes, everything's almost ready ..." Remus abandoned the pan for a lost cause and smiled a little, "whenever you're ready." He stepped back inside, swearing he would really put a repelling spell around the stove that only animaguses would be affected by.  
  
 _Ok._ Severus wiped his hand against his thigh, his other across his chest, _wand. Ok_. He walked to the back door, kicking the snow off his boots in the frame of the door, coming into the kitchen.  
  
As Remus said, everyone was busy, the table was being piled with dishes, Tonks was setting the table, dropping cutlery as she did, Sirius was being guided away from the stove by Remus, "Molly has everything under control, stop trying to put things in. Sit down ..."  
  
Sirius turned, spotting Severus, and just nodding, "Okay, fine ... I'll go get Harry-" He wiped his hands on a dishtowel and started for the stairs but stopped as the trio came down, Harry looking better than he had since he arrived, more alert, color in his cheeks. "Bout time ..." Sirius sat down, everyone else taking whatever spot they wanted. If Sirius saw pureblood pretension about seating plans at the table he would have jinxed the person responsible.  
  
Severus however waited for people to settle into their seats before he sat, glancing to Remus, unsure, doubting if he had perhaps misunderstood.  
  
Remus flashed a brief smile, everyone seemed relaxed, in good spirits, no one was staring at Severus ... maybe Harry, but no one else noticed.  
  
A large hand was placed on Severus’s shoulder and the man stilled, then Kingsley smiled, "Here- going to sneak in here beside ya." The overlarge man pulled out the chair between Snape and Molly, and seated himself down, pleased by the banquet.  
  
Harry was dishing up some potatoes, passing them to Ron and eating. Sirius had to cough into his hand so he wouldn't smile so widely and everyone around the table seemed to relax a little more. Finally, a normal dinner.  
  
Severus placed a little of everything on his plate, pushing it around as he ate slowly; knowing logically, it was important for him.  
  
Harry talked quietly with Hermione and Ron, seeming shy, knowing because he finally came down to join everyone that he was being looked at. Occasionally, however, his eyes went to Severus, to his plate, back to his face and then away.  
  
Kingsley was on his thirds by the time Severus had actually finished everything from his first serving. It took him time, convincing himself that each bite was important, that without it dinner was incomplete and Snape’s sense of order could not allow it. Severus was exceptionally shy; at the headtable, before the entire school he could be engaged in light conversation, but little more. Here, Severus didn't look up, or at least, not much, and when he did, it was to observe what everyone else was doing and what came so naturally to them.  
  
Harry was the first to finish, he put his fork down on his plate and stood, carrying it to the sink to rinse it off.

Sirius looked up with a grin, "What, no dessert?" It was clear he was pleased, though that Harry had eaten a full meal.

Harry just laughed, rubbing the back of his neck, "Mm, later maybe. I'm going to have a walk outside ..." He shrugged his jacket on

"Okay," Sirius nodded, "don't want company?"

Harry shook his head, "I'll be fine, thanks ..." he murmured before slipping out the door.  
  
Severus believed that he would never be in a situation that would require him to thank Sirius, but this did, and he pushed his pride back as he stood after a while, addressing the table, "Thank you for the invitation to stay for dinner. It was very good."  
  
Sirius stood too, looking a bit sheepish as he nodded at the room beyond the kitchen door, "Actually ... um, can I talk to you for a sec? Just in there ..."  
  
 _Merlin save me_. Severus took a deep breath, clearing his throat, "Yes." He deposited his plate in the sink, then crossed the room, passing through the door into the next room.)))))))))))  
  
Sirius left the kitchen, door swinging after him.  
  
Severus stood back, hands at his sides, calm. Though on the inside he was already very jumpy, "Yes?"  
  
Sirius was pacing a little, but he turned, facing Snape. "Remus told me that you talked with Harry today, earlier ..." he shook his head, "None of us could talk to him. He'd say yes and no and ... run upstairs. He wouldn't eat, I never thought a teenage boy would just refuse to eat ..." he had to look away.  
  
"Yes." Severus confirmed, but it was half a question, wondering what the point was.  
  
Sirius took a deep breath, "I ... I wanted to thank you."  
  
This was Snape’s golden opportunity to rub it in. Harry talked to him and not Sirius, his godfather. Confided in Severus, not Sirius. But he didn't. "He’ll be alright."  
  
Sirius swallowed hard, his voice was actually shaking a little, "I was really ... I mean he's my godson and I didn't know what else to do, I tried everything, I tried ... I was really scared he wouldn't snap out of it, even for a second but you seem to have found some way to do that ... so, I just wanted to say that. You ... did it, and I was wrong about you. I'm sorry."  
  
The younger, still angry Severus would have sneered, lashed out. _You are talking to me as if you think I actually care what it is you have to say_. But the truth was, he cared what Sirius thought about him; if he wasn't the bad guy in Sirius’s book, then maybe he wasn’t the bad guy at all. "Thank you." Severus barely moved his lips, and his voice was hushed with astonishment.  
  
Sirius nodded, "That's ... all" he shrugged, "oh and no, Remus didn't put me up to this."  
  
Severus nodded once, "Good evening then, thank you for letting me stay."  
  
"You don't need to ask." Sirius turned and left, taking another staircase upstairs.  
  
Severus passed through the kitchen, saying a quick good-bye before he left out the back door.  
  
Harry was sitting on the bench again, laying on it, looking up at the stars through the black, sparse branches.  
  
Snape’s boots crunched in the snow as he walked closer to Harry, gazing up at the stars. Severus kept his focus however on the young man.  
  
Harry swallowed and looked over at Severus, "Hi ..." he smiled a little.  
  
Severus nodded, "Hello Harry." He began, "… did you still want to be alone?"  
  
Snow began to fall in thick, soft flakes like feathers from the sky, resting against Harry's jacket and in his hair, "No, I was waiting."  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"Alright, you?"  
  
Severus took a slow, deep breath, as if trying to find an answer, "… shocked" he nodded slightly.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Being invited to dinner. Sirius, thanking me. Seeing you … smile."  
  
"Sirius thanked you? For what?" Harry smiled a little again, blushing this time.  
  
"He attributes your turn around of an appetite and company to me, he thanked me, for doing what he couldn't."  
  
Harry laughed, "Oh, wow ... he really pulled you aside and thanked you for me eating?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Harry just smiled, "I've ... been thinking" he sat up, letting the flakes collect in his dark, short hair, "you said you might not be able to give me what I need ... so I narrowed down what it is exactly I need from you ..." he sighed, reluctant, "I ... I think what I really need is to know what you feel about me ... for me ..." he had to remember to breathe, "because I never knew, I still don't know." He looked down, cheeks burning. "You seemed ... fond one second and then like you could hardly stand me the next. I just want to know."  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
"For now, I need that before anything else."  
  
Severus nodded, eyes focused, unblinking as he was held accountable for his feelings, "Harry, in answering your question I hope to also help explain some of my behavior to you. You see … there are people who are pure in intention, compassion, and ideals, who know great power, but do not use it to oppress others, people like Dumbledore, and yourself. White wizards. Then there are people who have been corrupted, deceitful, vengeful, violent, who are also quite powerful, and who are respected for it. People like the dark lord, and myself. Dark wizards. It was not a path that I realized I was on until I was already drowning in it, until it turned me into little more then a vessel for dark magic. So yes, there are times when I am cold, and unforgiving, when I am impersonal, and oblivious to the pain of others. But I am trying Harry, I have been trying for a long time, not to be that person. The truth is, I do care about you. And not because I believe that you are somehow the savior of the wizarding world, the dark lord’s equal, but because I see …" Severus gasped, a little breathless, wrapping his own hands together anxiously, "what I could have been. The goodness that should be allowed to survive and not give in to the darkness. I want to help you, I want you to accept my help, and not fight me because you think it is some sort of burden. I would like for you to be able to look at me, and know that I am a friend, and know too, that we are just a touch away from something more, if that interests you, because Harry, as foreign as that concept is for me, it interests me a great deal." Severus sighed, feeling he hadn't ended on a very good point, but there were no more words for the moment.  
  
Harry nodded, looking down at his hands, it was a long moment before he spoke, "I know the things that we've ... done, physically are ... I mean they happened because I needed help, and that was how ... but was that all it was?" He wasn't doubting, or hoping outright, he just needed to hear the answer. He blushed harder, feeling awkward in every sense, "I just don't want to ... ever impose something on you that you don't really want."  
  
Severus answered one subject at a time, "It was, until I began to indulge. Until I discovered that I enjoyed touching you, even when it served no magical purpose. Or you touching me, which was never necessary."  
  
He looked up, reminding himself to breathe again, "I ... I need you to promise me one thing," the boy took a deep breath, "that if you ever decide you don't want me to touch you or you really don't want me anymore, if you decide you don't feel the same way about me anymore, that you don't want ... that you don't want to know me, then you'll tell me."  
  
"I can manage that Harry, will you promise me the same?"  
  
Harry smiled a little, "I thought I was an attention loving loud mouth, of course I'd tell you ..." his voice softened and he nodded, "yes. Until you hear me say I don't want you or care about you, don't ever think I don't ... alright?"  
  
Severus nodded his understanding.  
  
Harry looked up at him, "Just don't ... pretend with me, alright? I know you pretend all the time, you have to, you have to with Voldemort, with the other students, with the Order sometimes ... just ... not with me. That's all I want."  
  
"That’s all, hmm?"  
  
Harry smiled, "Not ... all, but ... "  
  
"What else?"  
  
"The next time I tell you I broke Malfoy's nose, believe me."  
  
"Harry- do you really want to get into this?"  
  
"No," he sighed, reaching for and taking one of Severus's hands, his voice soft, "what I mean is that you have no reason to think I want anyone else."  
  
"Harry, you’re freezing." Severus held the young man’s hands in his own.  
  
"I'm alright," he smiled, looking at their hands and then up at Severus's dark eyes, they matched the sky behind him.  
  
Severus held Harry’s gaze. Slight amusement crossed his mind as he could think back upon Harry during his first year, how the boy would glare at him, think hateful, angry things to the potion’s professor, not knowing that Snape could in fact read his mind.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You've got the touch of a romantic in you Harry." Severus smiled a little, "So I’ll wait for you to kiss me first."  
  
Harry laughed, "I'm kissing you? You've already got this all worked out, obviously ... what if you kissed me first?"  
  
"Oh, it just wouldn't be the same if I went first." Severus said with some humor.  
  
He sighed and pulled Severus closer, down to him, "Bossy ..." he purred and kissed him, softly at first, almost teasing.  
  
"Mhm." Severus sighed into the kiss, cautiously touching Harry’s side with his hand.  
  
Harry moaned softly, stepping up to meet Severus, his arm going around his shoulders, fingers stroking his hair slowly, "Mmm-" he answered, smiling against Snape's lips.  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
"Yes ..." another kiss, a little hungrier, "you?"  
  
"Easy-" Severus reminded, taking back what Harry was drawing out of him, "it’s getting late."  
  
"Tired?" Harry kissed him again, softer, just sucking on Severus's lower lip.  
  
"No- but I should go."  
  
Harry sighed, nodding, but cupping Severus by the side of the face, still kissing him. "Will you come back soon?"  
  
"We shall see, if not soon, then after the new years."  
  
He looked up at Severus, brushing his hair out of his face, "Will you be okay?"  
  
"That’s a relative concept Harry, and you shouldn't ask."  
  
"Okay, then just say you'll be okay."  
  
"I will be tired, and frustrated." He wasn't going to lie.  
  
"You'll be careful?" Harry kissed his face.  
  
"Exceptionally." Severus could commit to that easily.  
  
Harry nodded, "Okay, then me too ... even though it's probably just Sirius cooking I'll be in danger of."  
  
Severus touched the side of Harry’s face, looking at him, "Get inside now before you freeze."  
  
"Do you want your Christmas present now?"  
  
"My what?"  
  
Harry swallowed, "I ... bought something for you, but ... I don't know why, they reminded me of you I guess, I wasn't going to give them to you but ... wait here." He kissed him again and ran back to the house, racing back up to his room.  
  
Severus stood outside in the back yard, dark sky over white snow. He looked up at the house, the lights that were on, trying to guess whose room was whose.  
  
Harry ran back out, smiling, something behind his back. He stopped in front of Severus, out of breath, "Here ... wait, close your eyes."  
  
"If you handcuff me, I will scream bloody-murder." Severus reluctantly closed his eyes  
  
He laughed, "Close ..." something soft and fuzzy, woolen was pressed into Severus's hands, "open." A pair of soft, dark, dark grey gloves lay in Severus's hands, long fingered. "They're cashmere ..."  
  
Severus smiled, sliding them onto his hands, "Very nice … and they, reminded you, of me?"  
  
Harry nodded, "The color and ... the way they felt and the fingers ..." he smiled.  
  
"You think I'm fuzzy?"  
  
Harry sighed, "I think you feel good," he murmured, kissing him.  
  
Severus held Harry as they kissed, "Thank you for the present Harry."  
  
"You're welcome ..." he rested their foreheads together, smiling. "You'd better go before I get clingy."  
  
"Good evening then." Severus stroked his hand down Harry’s back, hugging him slightly, rather then just holding him, before pulling away and walking off.  
  
Harry watched him leave, elated and worried at the same time.


	5. Chapter 5

It was just after midnight, making it the third of January when Severus Snape returned to headquarters. He would debrief in the morning, as it was, he was worn and exhausted. He had found an empty guest room, and collapsed on the nearest bed, not bothering to change his clothes.  
  
Harry had taken to not sleeping again, since a little mishap with sleeping potions and a long talk with Sirius and Remus, he'd stopped knocking himself out cold anymore and so it seemed like the only safe alternative was to stay awake again, but it had only been a couple of days. However, Harry was jumpy, over sensitive, and heard the door.  He went downstairs, looking around, "Hello?" There were still wet footprints on the floor from the snow and Harry followed them to the room, "Hello?"  
  
Laying on his chest, Severus managed to kick off one shoe, letting it fall to the floor, then sighed, not bothering with the other. Rather, just pulled at the pillow at the head of the bed, pulling it close to his chest, needing something close just to hold.   
  
Harry opened the door, recognizing the sigh, "Severus ..." he murmured, "oh gods ..." he closed the door after him, moving to the bed, touching his shoulder and crawling in bed, replacing the pillow with himself.  
  
"Mmm-" Severus sighed, wrapping his arms around Harry, having enough sense to say, "No questions, just-" his eyes were already closed, lips parted, just barely against Harry’s shoulder.  
  
Harry sighed, holding Severus tight, kissing his forehead, "No, no questions, you're home ... it's okay ..."  
  
"… hmm." Severus breathed, sleeping instantly.  
  
Harry rubbed his back, grateful, thankful, kissing his face as he slept. Harry forced himself to stay awake all night, until Severus woke up, if Voldemort tried again and he woke up screaming ... he wanted to make sure Snape could handle it first.

 

*               *               *

 

When the first signs of light spilled into the guest room, Severus opened his eyes, and sat up quickly, having momentarily forgotten where he was.  
  
Harry looked up, letting him go instantly, "Severus, you're here, it's okay."  
  
Severus turned his head, someone was calling him by his first name. "Harry-" he looked around the room in the growing daylight, then down at Harry who had been laying with him.  
  
"Hi," he croaked, rumpled and tired looking, but glad. He held his hands up, "Come on, rest ... it's okay, everything's okay."  
  
Everything wasn’t ok. But Severus laid out on his back, looking up at the ceiling, Harry at his side, "Nice holiday?" he attempted lightly.   
  
"Alright ..." Harry draped an arm around Severus, looking down at him, worried, "missed you though ..." he held Severus by the hand, bringing it up to kiss his knuckles.  
  
"You’re kissing my hand" Severus somehow felt the need to point this out.  
  
"I noticed," Harry murmured, "now I'm going to play with your hair a little."  
  
"Are you?"  
  
Harry did so, stroking Severus's hair, "I'll kiss it too if you want me to ..."  
  
"My hair?"  
  
Harry smiled, "Just offering," he leaned down, kissing his forehead again, "what do you need right now?"  
  
Severus closed his eyes, "Is Dumbledore here?"  
  
"Yeah ..." he nodded, "want me to get him?"  
  
"Yes, I should speak with him." He had already indulged in one night’s sleep, it was time to relay his information.   
  
Harry kissed him again, "I'm getting you breakfast too ..." he rose and backed out, watching Severus until he closed the door again and went to get the headmaster.  
  
"Thank you Harry." Severus had turned his head, watching the boy go, grateful for his company.  
  
A moment later the door opened again and Albus walked in, concerned, "Severus ... thank gods, we were worried-" he smiled, sitting on the side of the bed, "it's good to see you."  
  
"Thank you sir-" Severus pushed himself up so that his back was supported by the headboard, he pushed his fingers through his hair, getting it off his face as he looked to Albus properly. For Severus, it was more then good to be back. Christmas with the death eaters meant torturing muggles as party favors.   
  
The door closed, "Is there anything you need? Harry is, I believe, preparing some breakfast downstairs."  
  
"So he mentioned." Severus said with some amusement, "No sir, the only thing I need to do, is relay to you what I have learned."

 

*               *               *

 

A half hour later, Dumbledore stood, "I think breakfast might be ready, are you feeling rested enough to come down with us or shall Harry bring something up?"  
  
"I am not feeling particularly sociable, sir."   
  
Dumbledore nodded, "Very well, I'm sure Harry has much to fill you in on at any rate, if there's anything you need, let me know ... there are some Christmas presents for you yet to be unwrapped ..." he smiled and walked out, closing the door softly.  
  
 _Crazy old man_. Severus smiled a little, shaking his head, knowing that Dumbledore never left him out when it came to opportunities of gift-giving.  
  
A moment later, Harry opened the door, balancing a huge tray of food in his hands, "Still awake?" he whispered.  
  
"For the time being." Severus watched Harry as an alley cat watched the first mouse to cross his path.  
  
Harry shut the door with his foot, then walked over slowly, setting the tray down on the bed. It looked heavy with every possible breakfast food for Severus, strawberries, toast, pancakes, sliced avocado and tomato toasted sandwiches, eggs ... "I made the sandwiches ..." Harry beamed.  
  
"You’re going to help me eat this, right? This is for the both of us."  
  
"Of course," Harry half smiled, taking some coffee and a fork to cut into the pancakes, "who do you think the bacon's for?"  
  
"Thank you for this Harry-" Severus took up the half of the avocado and tomato sandwich, he held it, slightly in awe; it seemed like it was something he had enjoyed from another lifetime and was just now remembering.   
  
Harry smiled a little wider, "Welcome, that's as far as my cooking skills go ..."  
  
"It’s just what I needed." Severus said to himself, taking small bites at a time.  
  
"There's tea too, if you want."  
  
Severus nodded, thoroughly enjoying his sandwich, "Dumbledore implied that you would fill me in on what has been happening around here …" for not being particularly sociable, Severus wanted to talk about things that had nothing to do with perpetuating the wizarding pureblood agenda, the department of mysteries, or who could prove themselves most loyal.   
  
Harry half groaned, sitting back against the headboard, "Yeah ... it's been ... eventful" he rolled his eyes, "you really want to know?"  
  
"Every absurd detail."  
  
"Alright but you asked," Harry sipped his coffee, "Well, it turns out Tonks is in love with Remus."  
  
"Oh, the poor girl."   
  
"Yeah ... which didn't go over too well with Sirius. At. All."  
  
"Hmm, and Lupin? His reaction to having another interest?"  
  
"Mostly to run, run far, far away into corners of the house I'm sure not even Sirius knew about. He was horrified, mostly, especially when on new year's eve, Tonks got blitz drunk and kissed him."  
  
"Merlin." Severus sighed, "And Kingsley?" Bringing up his name seemed to imply he knew something about his interests.  
  
Harry just shook his head, "Quietly unhappy, he DID get to carry her OUT of the house before Sirius made it all the way downstairs after Remus-" Harry laughed, "sorry, but it was just like being at school again ... he looked so ... just ... like someone threw a bucket of cold, COLD water on a cat."  
  
"Hmm." Lupin hadn't been appreciated in that way for some time, perhaps it was a wake up call for Sirius.   
  
"Anyway, so it's been sort of hard for them to keep up the whole just-good-pals routine around the house now. Remus was blushing for days, Ginny asked if he'd had a sunburn and he just started blushing harder and left the room, poor guy."  
  
"Indeed." Severus drank his tea, seeing it play out in his mind.  
  
"So for the next while at least, you-know-who around the house is Tonks, not Voldemort." Harry started laughing around his coffee, "Dumbledore was hilarious, though. He looked so shocked when she just kissed him and then leaned over and said to me 'It's like watching someone try to kiss a suit of armor, isn't it?' "  
  
Severus shifted uncomfortably at the dark lord's name. But cracked a smile again at the thought, "The poor girl."   
  
"I know ..." Harry sighed, "my entire job new year's eve was to keep Sirius from murdering anyone."  
  
"Successful I assume?"  
  
Harry smirked, "Percy hasn't been seen for a while ..." he laughed, "yeah, everything was fine after a few hours. You know how he can get. Out of the two of them Sirius acts more like the werewolf."  
  
Severus smirked, setting his tea down, head slightly bowed as he only now began to relax.   
  
Harry sighed, "They did find out about my hand though," he stared into his coffee, "not so fun."  
  
"No, I’m sure not."  
  
"I told them about the detentions, and that you were helping me with it ... it took almost all of us to keep him from running off and just blasting Umbridge out of her shoes."  
  
"Sirius, you mean?"  
  
Harry shook his head, quiet, "Dumbledore." He offered a little smile, "But I don't think she'll stay at school much longer, so ... that's a good thing."  
  
Defense against the dark arts professors never stayed long. It occurred to Severus now that while he had gotten Harry out of further detentions, and told Dumbledore as much, he had not actually mentioned what had been involved. He felt terrible.   
  
Harry touched his arm, "It's okay ..."  
  
"I wasn't thinking." Severus reprimanded himself.  
  
"You stopped her," Harry murmured.  
  
"Eventually."  
  
"I told you at the time I wanted to handle it, you were just trying to help me."  
  
Severus sighed, "And what else Harry?" he asked dully.  
  
"They found out about the potions too." His eyes dropped, sheepish. "I still needed them to sleep without dreaming until you came back and we could work on blocking him again ... I had a bottle of the concentrated sort that I bought from an apothecary, it was sitting beside the diluted bottle and I got them mixed up." He held his hands up, "I'm fine-"  
  
The look Severus gave Harry was good enough as any scolding.   
  
Harry withered a little, "I know ... I know ... it was a complete accident, it took a lot of convincing for them not to put me in St. Mungo's with Lockheart, but I told them why I was taking them and I'm just ... I'm not taking them anymore. No potions. Gone ..." he sighed, "I know."  
  
"Very well" Severus said tensely, "… we shall explore other options for you to rest, and continue our lessons."   
  
Harry nodded, putting his empty plate away and taking Severus's then putting the tray on the floor beside the bed, sitting with him again. "So ... how are you feeling?"  
  
The spy just nodded, "What are you doing today?"  
  
"I don't have anything planned, staying awake mostly."  
  
"No-" Severus opened up his arms slightly, indicating that Harry should come closer, lay within his arms, "time to rest."  
  
Harry paused, "But what if he ... are you sure? You're still tired, you just came from all that, I can go another night without sleeping ..."  
  
"No-" Severus made himself quite clear, pushing his fingers through Harry’s hair, around the back of his head, "sleep."   
  
Harry's body trembled a little at the prospect of finally experiencing a natural, unforced slumber and he moved closer to Severus. "If you're sure ... only if you're sure ..." he lay beside Severus, his head on Snape's shoulder, arms around him, one long leg bent over Severus's, "Mmm ..."  
  
"Comfortable?" Severus smirked at Harry’s willingness to curl up next to him. He began to stroke his fingers through Harry’s hair, down the back of his neck, offering Harry a calming presence, deep and dark as the clothes he wore.  
  
Harry's body started to relax, to warm and go limp at the same time and the boy just sighed, sinking into slumber quickly as he inhaled the scent of his skin.   
  
"Good boy." Severus whispered, watching over him. In a way, Severus was glad that Harry didn't sleep much over the holidays, it spared him from many things that Voldemort would have surely pressed into Harry’s mind.

 

*            *            *

 

Harry snuggled closer and slept, undisturbed until late in the day, after everyone else was finished dinner downstairs.  
  
Simply by being there, Severus made sure he always had a hand, his fingers somehow upon Harry, keeping his mind clear of any other presence.  
  
Harry stretched quietly as he was waking up, toes first, then his fingers, and then a slow quiet yawn against Severus's neck. He felt almost completely better after the first real sleep he'd had in months.  
  
"Take your time." Severus spoke in a low, smooth voice.  
  
"Mmm-" Harry smiled, nose burrowing against the source of that sound.  
  
"How do you feel?" Severus rubbed his hand up Harry’s back, to his shoulder.  
  
Harry hummed again, "Better than I have in a long, long, long time ..." He curled his long, lean body around Severus, adoringly.  
  
Severus turned Harry slightly, laying the young man out on his back, bowing his head down, lips almost touching, "Let me see your eyes."  
  
Harry opened his eyes, slowly, they were perfectly emerald colored, clear and bottomless as the day he first went to Hogwart's, "How are they?"  
  
"Perfect." Severus kissed the young man deeply.  
  
Harry moaned softly, arms around Severus, palming the back of his head as they kissed, their tongues touching, stroking and twisting.  
  
As they kissed, there was no dark magic for Snape to feed upon, only Harry. Severus groaned, trying not to let himself think about it too much, because then he would start to want things he knew he couldn't have. But the more he didn't think about it, the more he _did_.   
  
Harry moaned, offering himself freely, parting his thighs around Severus's hips, one hand tracing the buttons along the front of his robes, "You've been in these for hours ..."  
  
"Leave them." Severus moaned, kissing Harry – in all his goodness, in all his purity – kissing Harry.   
  
Harry nodded, stroking Severus on the side of the face as they kissed again, hungrily, mouths locking and melding together. Harry's hand stroked down Severus's spine, flattening against the small of his back, pressing them together.  
  
Severus fisted the back of Harry’s hair, tilting his head back, beginning to pant as he kissed the young on the neck. "Mmm-" his eyes were lightly closed as they pressed against the other.  
  
Harry groaned, bending his head back, hips rising against Severus, rubbing against him through the fabric, "Severus ..."  
  
"I … I've missed … is this alright?"  
  
"Yes, yes, yes ..." Harry nodded, rocking himself against Severus in reply, "missed you, missed this too, your touch, your body ..."  
  
Severus pressed his palm against Harry’s chest, sliding it down over the flat of his hard stomach, rubbing over and squeezing the bulge in the young man’s pants.   
  
Harry gasped, warm thighs parting, his lips trembling ever so slightly as he looked down at Severus, "Ohhh- ohhh gods ..."  
  
Pressing his hand against Harry, rubbing with firm fingers, Snape looked down at the young man just slightly under him, "Take your shirt off" he directed.   
  
Another soft groan and Harry obeyed, reaching down and grasping the edges of the shirt, pulling it up over his head slowly. He was thinner but still athletic, he hadn't entirely lost his quidditch muscle, Harry's body just looked a little more graceful now, grief seemed to agree with him.   
  
"Not too cold?" Severus asked as he lowered his head, his mouth pressing against Harry’s skin, kissing his bare shoulder, down across his chest, trailing his lips over Harry’s nipple.   
  
"No ..." he murmured, gasping as Severus's lips touched his nipple, his hands, one smooth and one scarred went into his hair, against the back of his neck, thumbing his cheek.  
  
Severus pushed both his hands up Harry’s sides, then back down again to his hips, stretching the young man out. Kneeling between his parted legs, Severus kissed down to the flat of Harry’s stomach, until his lips came to the hem of his pajama pants that he had been wearing all day, and since the night before when Snape returned. His fingers hooked around the elastic, and pulled down, sliding Harry’s pants off his thighs, down to his knees, ankles, then off completely.  
  
Harry let Severus undress him, his breath coming faster, harder than before, once more Harry was stripped completely nude on the bed, a lake of white skin under Severus's black robes. The boy was hard, his cock moved with a visible pulse, already wet at the reddened tip.  
  
Black robes covered Harry like a blanket, or a tent housing them both as Severus moved up Harry’s body again, holding himself just over the Gryffindor. His hand reached down and began to stroke at Harry, watching his reaction to his touch.   
  
He felt like he was melting and hardening at the same time as one hand went slack in Severus's hair, his other gripping his robes over his shoulders, "S- Severus ...." He gasped, the arch of Harry's bare hips, and his green eyes closed.  
  
Severus was quietly pleased as he began to stroke, holding Harry expertly in his hand, sliding his knee up just enough, pressing against the inside of Harry’s thigh.   
  
Harry shivered, pushing himself slowly into Severus's hand, gasping, his skin going pink in all the right places, nipples hard against Snape's chest, "So ... oh ...  ohhh good ... mmm..."  
  
Hooking his arm around the back of Harry’s neck, Severus held him close, enjoying how it felt to have Harry move under him, at his touch. His thumb pressed along a predominant vein, up against the head of Harry’s prick. Then smoothly brushing over the head, caressing it, wiping the precum around in small circles.   
  
Harry held Severus close, kissing his neck, his jaw, his face up to his ear and behind it, "Yes ... yes, yes, ohgods-" he gasped, his young body starting to thrust faster and faster, "gods ... godsyes ..."  
  
Rather then fighting Harry’s thrusts, Severus held his hand still, just below his own stomach, "Imagine …" he said with a small, devious smile, "imagine, and fuck my hand."  
  
His eyes opened a little and he moaned, watching Severus, thrusting harder and harder into the tight, warm clutch around him, it was easy to imagine. "Like this?" he gasped, his hips snapping quickly and his head falling back with a groan.  
  
"Very good." Severus rewarded, watching Harry follow his direction.   
  
He could feel it pushing through his body, the tight, hot, building, burning swell of feeling that started to pool behind his hips, making him cry out, "Close ..." he gasped, holding Snape tighter, "I ... I'mgoingto-"  
  
"Good-" Severus said, tightening his hold, pushing down against Harry’s thrust, "Good."  
  
Harry cried out once, twice and then gasped before coming into Severus's hand, still fucking it as he spilled over and through his long fingers, coating them in white.  
  
Severus looked down between their bodies, chin close to his chest, "Good- good Harry" he continued to reward, massaging the cum between his fingers.  
  
Harry was clenching the back of Snape's robes in both hands, shaking, "Missed ... ohgodsImissed ... you ...."  
  
Severus kept Harry under his body, serving as his dark protector. He looked up, kissing the side of Harry’s jaw.  
  
Harry smiled softly, glowing, letting Severus kiss his jaw before he tipped his head down and let their lips meet.  
  
"Hmm-" Severus hummed into Harry’s mouth.  
  
Harry hummed back, parting his lips, letting their tongues meet and wind softly.

 

*            *            *

  
  
Due to Harry’s peaceful sleep, and the hour of the day, the two kept on kissing, touching well into the night. Severus had Harry sleep several more times, between which was more kissing, more touching, and Harry, crying out Severus’s name. So it was by the morning of the next day, that Severus was sitting up against the headboard, Harry sleeping against him, that the young man was perfectly sexed up, and perfectly relaxed.   
  
Not only was Harry sleeping, he was smiling in his sleep, just a little, head on Severus's chest before he stirred, raising his head a little and kissing his lover's neck.  
  
Severus had pulled a heavy blanket over, covering Harry’s naked body during the night. His hand rubbed just against the center of his back. The somber man did not sleep when Harry did, he watched over him, like some strange gargoyle.  
  
"Mmm." His lips found Severus's jaw blindly, his cheek, his lips and Harry sat up slowly, smiling and straddling Severus's hips, arms around him. His glasses were long forgotten on the bedside table and his short, dark hair was the best sort of rumpled.  
  
Pulling at the blanket again, adjusting it over Harry’s shoulders, Severus covered his bare back from the open air. One hand however remained under the blanket, pressed against Harry’s bare hip.  
  
"Mmm ... morning ..." Harry's voice was a rumble, he opened his eyes just a little, focusing their spring-green gaze at Severus.  
  
"Should I bother to ask how you slept?" It was obvious the boy was feeling better, much better then on an average day.  
  
Harry laughed, "Slept like someone who's been having sex all day," he kissed Severus softly, arms lacing around his shoulders slowly, hands rubbing his back through the ever-present robes.  
  
The two kissed, and Severus groaned softly, his hand gently squeezing Harry’s ass, then smoothing over it, only to do it all over again.  
  
Harry moaned, pressing himself back against Severus's hands, encouraging him, "Mmm ... love your hands ..." he purred, kissing his neck again, licking his ear teasingly.  
  
"I enjoy you like this." Severus confessed, as he kept the naked boy on his lap, close to him.  
  
Harry smiled, "You mean straddling you?" He licked Severus on the neck, sucking at the skin a little.  
  
Severus smiled a little, as he let his own eyes close slowly.  
  
Harry arched back, grinding against Severus's hands again, "Feels nice ..."  
  
Severus’s toes separated within his black socks, legs stretched out. "Ah-" Severus gasped, as Harry rubbed himself in just the right place. Both his hands were on Harry’s hips now, encouraging the boy to rock against him.  
  
Harry groaned, feeling Severus's reaction and repeated the action again, grinding himself against Snape sweetly, "Ohhh .... mhmm, you feel so good."  
  
"Don’t stop." Severus directed, the small of his back arching, lifting as his hips pressed against Harry; even through all their barriers.   
  
Harry gasped, shuddering, "YES ... yesyesyes ..." he kept pushing back against him, his cleft parting just a little.  
  
"Good-" Severus said, slightly breathless as Harry moved against him. Then he gasped sharply, as if someone had just punched him in the stomach, his fingers clung onto Harry’s hip, digging into the soft skin as Snape’s hips snapped, coming quickly under his own robes.   
  
Harry moaned, clinging to him tightly, shaking, "Yesyesyesyesyes ... Severus, Severus, yes ..."  
  
"Ah-" Severus tiled his head back against the headboard with another gasp, a slight shiver of excitement ran from his thighs up his back, "that was nice" he said softly, almost surprised that he could in fact feel good at all.  
  
Harry moaned, nodding, kissing the column of Snape's neck slowly, devotedly, "Gods ... that was ... mmm, amazing."  
  
"Amazing?" Severus frowned, opening his eyes and looking at Harry. He didn't understand why Harry would have enjoyed that.  
  
Harry kissed him, nodding against his lips, "Mhmm."  
  
Severus kissed the corner of Harry’s mouth, holding him close. He closed his eyes again, then nuzzled his face against Harry’s neck with a sigh.  
  
"God, that's ... I love feeling you come," he whispered.  
  
Snape was quiet for some time, adjusting his hold on Harry so that he was held a little tighter every now and again. Until finally the man resolved, "I must clean up now."  
  
He sighed, "Mmm ... okay," he kissed Severus again and moved off of him, laying on the bed, curled on his side with a smile.  
  
Severus slipped out of bed, and crossed the guest room into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. Soon after the shower was turned on, Snape’s clothes hung on a hook on the wall, airing out after casting a cleaning charm.   
  
Harry sighed, getting out of bed, wrapping a blanket around himself as he did, "Taking a shower?"  
  
There was a pause, Severus spat water away from his lips, "Yes-" he thought that had been obvious.  
  
"Want company?"  
  
There was a longer pause this time, "I’m just cleaning up." It wasn't a yes, or a no.  
  
He took a step closer, "I'd like to ..."  
  
"Come in Harry."   
  
Harry stepped in, taking a deep breath and dropping the blanket before he moved the curtain aside and stepped in.  
  
Severus was turned, facing the shower-head, he made no ceremony about Harry joining him, he kept washing himself, the last of the oily blackness swirling down the drain at his feet. He did not want this to be a moment when all they talked about were his points of disfiguration: burns on his right arm, tattoo on his left, scarring everywhere else.  
  
Harry reached up and touched Severus on the shoulder, leaning closer just to kiss his skin, wrap his arm around his waist.  
  
Severus touched Harry’s hand, hot water rolling down his chest, over their hands. Severus had promised to be himself with Harry, not to pretend like he did with the others. Not, hide like he did with the others. Well, here he was, not hiding.   
  
Harry kissed the side of Severus's neck, stroking his hand over his chest very carefully, "I like this ..."  
  
"Yes?" Severus turned under the arm, facing him, "Do you?"  
  
Harry nodded, his hands exploring Snape's chest, his waist, "I do ..." he kissed him again, on the lips, adoring.  
  
"Hm-" Severus thought about this, kissing Harry back in return, his own hands going to Harry’s hips, then around, around the small of his back, pressing each other close together.   
  
The boy gasped and moaned at the feeling of them being pressed together, "Oh-" he shifted his hips, "you feel ..."  
  
"Good?" he afforded the hope.  
  
"Yes-" Harry kissed him again, roughly, "fuck, yesgood-"  
  
Severus smiled as they kissed, embarrassed by Harry’s use of profanity. Leaning back against the tile wall of the shower, the water ran down their bodies, keeping them wet, warm, smooth.  
  
"Severus-" Harry's hand slipped down against Severus's bare hip, "please let me ..."  
  
"Let you what?"   
  
"Touch you, suck you off ..." he whispered in Snape's ear, "please ..."  
  
Severus considered Harry’s wishes, "If you must promise spit, not swallow."  
  
Harry was surprised, kissing Snape hard, pressing his head back against the tiled wall and then kissing a line down Severus's scarred chest, his stomach, licking, adoring.  
  
Severus watched Harry sink lower, second guessing himself already. "Ah- Harry" his hand went to the young man’s shoulder, bracing himself.  
  
"Please ..." he knelt, kissing the inside of Severus's thigh, "just tell me how ..."  
  
"Touch- whatever you like, however you like. Feel my cock in your hand … then when you find something you like to touch, taste it … try it, and see if you like it."  
  
Harry groaned, his own cock standing out sharply, jutting from his hip as he wrapped his hand around Severus, hot water beating his black hair down against his face. "Yes, Sir ..." he smirked a little, starting to squeeze and stroke him slowly, imitating Severus's technique.  
  
"Ah- good." Severus pushed his fingers through Harry’s heavy, wet hair, off his forehead and eyes. Snape had a man’s body, and Harry was still growing into his, "How do you like it?"   
  
"Gorgeous, you feel ... mmm ..." Harry licked the inside of Severus's thigh, biting softly as he continued to stroke him.  
  
Severus groaned, his toes curling against the floor of the shower, knees bending slightly as his thighs parted a little more. "Good boy Harry." His eyes were open, looking down at Harry, watching him.  
  
Harry kept stroking him slowly, moving his mouth up to lick the tip of his cock, over and over again with a moan before he took him into his mouth, very slowly, very carefully.  
  
"Ah-!" Severus gasped, breathless, not pushing into Harry’s young mouth, but purposefully keeping himself still, "What- what do you think? My cock filling your mouth? Do you like how that feels?"  
  
Harry closed his eyes and moaned, his hands went to Snape's hips, clutching them as he took him in further, sucking.  
  
Severus reached one hand back, up behind his neck, holding his own hand at bay, to keep from grabbing Harry. He groaned and whimpered, it was hard to both hold back and relax. Still, he enjoyed what Harry was doing to him. "Good- good boy Harry."   
  
"MmmMmm-" he moaned, using his tongue against the under side of Snape's cock, imitating him, starting to bob around him.  
  
"Easy-" Severus twitched as Harry began to move faster, teeth just grazing the skin. He turned his face into his arm, growling with approval in a low tone.  
  
Harry groaned, one hand slipping between Snape's thighs, up to his balls.  
  
Frustration crossed Snape’s face, "Stop-" he said suddenly, his hand against Harry’s hair, pulling him off.  
  
Harry gasped, looking up with large, startled eyes.  
  
"Stop- don’t do that anymore. Stand up."  
  
"Sorry -" Harry stood, his heart pounding, lips swollen from friction.  
  
Severus shook his head, "The fault is not yours."   
  
"What ... what's wrong?"  
  
"It was good Harry, but much more, and I would have hurt you."  
  
Harry nodded, pressing a shy kiss against Severus's face, "Can I touch you?"  
  
"My neck, put your arms around my neck." Severus lowered his own arms to his sides, barely fingering the skin that was before him.  
  
He slipped his arms around Snape's neck, nuzzling his face, stroking the back of his neck.  
  
"The fault is mine." Severus assured Harry once more, holding him carefully when he trusted himself enough to do so.   
  
Harry kissed him, "Shhh, there's nothing wrong ..."  
  
Severus sighed, kissing Harry sweetly, but shortly. He reached behind them and turned off the water. "Let’s go Harry, we should have breakfast."   
  
He nodded, "Do you feel like going down?"  
  
"Yes-" _No, but he needed to._  
  
Harry kissed him again and stepped out of the shower, bringing a fluffy towel over and wrapping it around Severus with a grin.  
  
"Well-" Severus smirked, "thank you. What is this, a full service enterprise?"   
  
"Of course," he smiled, "you expect less?"  
  
"On the contrary, I have high expectations that I don’t expect anyone to meet. I am impressed."  
  
"Ahh," Harry smiled, "and do I impress you often?"  
  
"You have your moments." Severus reached for his robes, walking back out into the bedroom with them, laying them out on the bed.

Harry followed, kissing Severus on the shoulder, murmuring, "My stuff is upstairs, I'm going to go change ... meet you in the kitchen?"  
  
Severus nodded, "Very well."   
  
He grinned, a towel wrapped around his own hips, and walked out, beaming.

 

*            *            *

 

Voldemort's chambers were not theatrically dark as one might expect. Torches were alight on the wall, every few feet, and a large chandelier hung low, making the windowless room quite warm with its heat. The orange glow that reflected off the walls cast shadows of grey over the faces of those present.

Over the holiday, the death eaters had a reunion. A welcome back celebration for those who recently broke out of Azkaban prison. For Voldemort, it was his way of determining the resolve, loyalty, and ability of his servants.

Malfoy had lost favor, considerably. He was being given one chance at redemption in the eyes of his lord, and should it fail, it would be the end of him and his family.

Snape however did not necessarily gain favor, but he still had the dark lord's ear, just as he used to. After all, Snape was at Hogwarts during the weekday, solidifying his role as spy, as professor and head of house, someone responsible wot access to a great many important people, someone the headmaster, Dumbledore, trusts. But now it was now the weekend, and Snape was at the dark lord's bidding once more.

"Come here." Voldemort was sitting in his chair by the fireplace, staring at the flames, while stroking his deadly hand over the large snake that was curled around his chair, over his thighs and slightly against his chest. The two had an unnatural connection between one another, and it would be fair to say, that the snake was the only creature allowed to get so close to the dark lord.    
  
"My lord." Severus stepped forward, falling to one knee and bowed before the dark lord. He had been summoned well over an hour ago, but made to wait while Voldemort dealt with his other servants, and conveyed to them only hints of his intentions, keeping the master plan to himself.  
  
"Rise. We must talk, you and I."   
  
Severus did as he was told, standing just before the dark lord’s chair, where Naginni wrapped herself around Voldemort’s arm and up, over his shoulder, flicking her tongue close to his ear. Speaking her secrets without concern that Snape would understand their private conversation.   
  
"In order to lure Harry Potter, I must be able to supply his subconscious with thoughts and desires. But, it seems my efforts are wasted, can you perhaps give me reason why that may be?"   
  
It was always the same manipulation. And once one knew the rules, it was easy to know how to respond. For example, if Severus plead ignorance on the subject, then Voldemort would punish him for being a worthless spy, for not knowing the details surrounding Potter's life. But to give a straight answer, to suggest that he knew exactly why Potter was able to block the dark lord would not do either. As that would suggest that Severus knew what was wrong all the time, and did nothing to put an end to it or perhaps allowed it to continue as some sign of sabotage. Half truths were always better then half lies. "My lord, the boy steels from my potion’s store room, many powerful sleeping droughts, and the supplies to make more …"  
  
"Yes- yes. But that only explains the blankness I have found over the holiday break. No, someone is helping him. Someone more powerful then myself. Dumbledore is blocking me." Voldemort stroked his hand over the head of the snake, down her long body as she slithered down her master’s body, onto the floor, just pass Severus’s feet, and away, out of sight. Voldemort stood now. "Stop him. Convince him that it is not necessary. Perhaps, persuade him to use the boy as bait, to catch me."   
  
"My lord, I do not have that sort of authority over Dumbledore."   
  
"What?! You better-" Voldemort moved closer to Severus threateningly, "Or are you simply refusing to do my bidding?"   
  
"Of course not, my lord." Severus held the dark lord’s gaze. His thoughts swirled with loyalty and schemes to follow through with the dark lord's bidding. Then, purposefully on accident, Severus let slip his fear of failure, of disappointing Voldemort.    
  
Voldemort’s eyes already conveyed the fury that Snape would endure should he fail.

Severus bowed once more, deeply before his lord and master. Accepting the task, and understanding the consequences should his performance prove to be anything less then stellar. But in truth, Severus could care less about failing the dark lord. In fact, he already knew he would. At least he had a week. An entire week, of bratty, ungrateful children. A week to make a plan. A week before his endurance would be tested. Before he would be on his knees, begging for more time, assuring the dark lord that he was close, that he was still useful to him, that he would not fail him now, not after all this time.

 

*            *            *

 

Harry had never been able to patiently endure potion's class, and he'd always spent them wanting the period to end; lately for completely different reasons than before.  
  
Snape was casting several scourgify spells over the desktop and walls of where Longbottom’s cauldron had exploded. He had let class out a few minutes early in order to clean up, everyone else’s potions were ruined because of the fragments of the shattered cauldron flying into everyone else’s brew.   
  
Harry stayed behind, as usual, not speaking until everyone left the professor and his 'least favorite' student in for yet another detention. Once the door was closed, the green eyed boy let himself smile a little, "You have to admit, that was pretty spectacular."  
  
"Spec-tacular." Severus mimicked with a sigh, looking up at Harry. Walking over to him, Severus touched his hand to the side of his face with a slight smile, he was becoming slightly more affectionate with each meeting.   
  
Harry beamed, leaning his face against his hand and then leaning up to kiss him over the desk, "Mmm..."  
  
The two kissed briefly, before Severus continued, "This is your lunch break, am I correct?"   
  
"Mhmm, I have just over an hour, you?"  
  
"Time enough." Severus turned, walking out of the classroom, and back into his office, "Come along."  
  
Harry smiled widely, hopping over the desk and following him eagerly, "What do you have in mind?"  
  
Severus gave his answer by closing the door behind Harry, only to push him up against it with a hard, forceful kiss.  
  
Harry gasped, smiling before he was kissed, his hands sliding up Severus's chest slowly, fingers groping, mapping him under the cloth as they kissed, "Mmm ..."  
  
Severus moaned into Harry’s mouth, slightly desperate to get his point across, "I could make you feel so good Harry …"  
  
"Please ..." he nodded, starting to undo the buttons of Severus's robes, one of his thighs slipping between Snape's.  
  
"Leave it" he said simply, taking up Harry by his hands, walking him over to his desk, "Will you follow my instruction?"   
  
"Yes ..." he nodded, already breathless, kissing Severus over and over, dizzying.  
  
"Turn. Hands on the desk." Severus watched Harry, how far he could push him to achieve such pleasures.   
  
Harry's eyes went soft for a moment and he just groaned before obeying, two palms down on the flat top of Severus's desk, his school robe draped over his long body.  
  
"Good." Severus smoothed the flat of his hand down Harry’s back, to the dip at the small of his back, and over the curve of his ass. He kicked his boot between Harry’s feet, "Spread your legs."  
  
Harry bit his lower lip, feeling himself get harder at the rough sound of Severus's voice, "Yes ... sir," he experimented, spreading his legs wider, breathing deep.  
  
Severus positioned himself behind Harry, one hand wrapped around his stomach, pushing itself slowly down the front of his body, cupping him through the school uniform. Meanwhile, pushing up against Harry’s backside, his other hand rested comfortably on Harry’s hip. It was just a taste, to tempt them both, "Take off your robes" he said, pulling his hands away.  
  
Harry groaned, nodding as he undressed quickly, his skin prickling in the cool air of Snape's office. Just the sound of Severus's voice was enough to make him shiver and the feeling of his hands almost drove Harry into gibberish. His black and red over-robe hit the floor first, his shirt, his trousers were kicked away with shoes and socks, and then he was naked, bent over Severus's desk. Harry left his Gryffindor tie around his neck, just dangling almost tauntingly against his bare skin.  
  
"Interesting." Severus tugged at the tie, pulling it back like a leash, fisting it with one hand. He looked down at Harry’s body, his fingers cupped around the round of Harry’s bare ass, dipping under, gently caressing the soft cleft of skin.   
  
Harry smiled a little, his head pulled back by the tie, "You like it?" he groaned, his back arching as Severus fondled his ass, parting him gently.   
  
"Mm-" Severus committed himself, "You?"  
  
Harry nodded, "Yes ... I always like it when you touch me ..."  
  
Severus leaned his hips against the back of his own wrist, while he gently rubbed his fingers against Harry’s more sensitive parts. Pressing his lips to Harry's shoulder, Severus kissed him up to the back of his neck.   
  
Harry's head fell forward and he gasped, "Severus ..." his legs spread a little more and he leaned further over the desk, encouraging Severus's hand, "Gods ..." his head tilted, exposing his neck to Severus's mouth.  
  
"Good boy Harry." Severus rewarded, his mouth going around the back of Harry’s neck, almost biting him, "How do you feel?"   
  
"Good ... very, very, good ..." Harry gasped sweetly at the bite, his hard on brushing the edge of the desk, "Ohgodsyesthere ..."  
  
"Arch your back." Severus pulled slightly on the tie again, indicating what he wanted, or what would happen if Harry didn't obey. His other hand moved away from his ass, resting once more on the young man’s bare hip.   
  
Harry whimpered and obeyed, arching back sharply, licking his lips as he did.  
  
"Good boy." Severus pressed himself up against Harry’s ass, something for the Gryffindor to push back upon. His hand slid around Harry’s waist and began to stroke at his erection. "Don’t thrust, let me do this."  
  
Harry groaned, feeling Severus so close, feeling the protrusion of his sex through the black fabric, "Oh-" he moaned, his fingers spreading at the feeling, "ohgodsSeverus ..."  
  
At this angle, jerking off Harry was the same motion if it were himself. It was easy this way, fast and fluid. "I want you to come against my desk Harry. I want to always be able to look at my desk, see the stains, and know it was you."   
  
Harry writhed against him, nodding, unable to utter anything but Severus's name and long, stretched, blissful moaning. He gripped a book with one hand, gasping, sweating, his head dropped forward, "YES ... G ... going to ... AhhhCLOSENOWOH-" Harry moaned and came violently, all over Severus's hand, through his fingers, dripping down onto the dark wood of the desk as the boy cried out.  
  
"Good boy Harry." Severus rewarded with a groan of his own, feeling Harry coat his hand. He bowed his head slightly, pressing his lips against Harry’s spine. "You’re so good."  
  
Harry's arms shook against the desk and he nodded, "You're ... mmm ... amazing, Severus ..." his ears were ringing, skin burning and tingling, "so amazing ..."  
  
Severus carefully pulled his hand away, still coated with Harry’s cum, and slid it around to his back. Severus stepped back for a moment, as he began to massage his slick finger against Harry’s ass, "Are you curious?"   
  
Harry's young body went rigged and his head arched up, ass pressing back, "More ... more than curious ... "  
  
Severus tightened his hold on the tie, "When I say." His finger continued to rub, coxing Harry, "Breathe out."  
  
Harry's heart rate, already racing, doubled and he gasped, swallowing, his hands clutching against the edge of the desk, "Yes ..."  
  
"Easy-" Severus was calm in handling Harry, "easy. Nice and slow, breathe out." Severus pushed his finger into Harry, not stiff, but relaxed, complying to the limits of Harry’s virgin body. He pressed it up to the knuckle, letting him settle around it and get used to the idea.   
  
Harry exhaled, shaking but trusting Severus and his hands completely. "Oh-" he cried out, then panted, his lips parted, eyes closed, shock traveling to his feet and fingertips.   
  
"Easy-" Severus insisted, "breathe … slow."  
  
Harry did, gulping down breath as slow as he could, completely stunned by the feeling, by how good it felt to have Severus's finger inside him, even just his finger.  
  
"Good Harry." Severus was careful to make his hand still while he leaned forward, kissing the back of his neck. "You’re so good." he groaned.  
  
"I can't believe how ... how ... ohmygodohgod ..." Harry moved, just a little, just to let Severus kiss his neck a little more and he moaned, "hard again ..."  
  
"You may move" Severus said softly against Harry’s skin, licking and kissing, "to suit your comfort."  
  
Harry groaned, sinking down to his elbows on the desk, completely overcome, still bent over, his back sloping down to the desk where Severus usually sat, ass in the air. "So good ..."  
  
"I am going to add pressure, you tell me if you like it." Severus warned, beginning to stiffen his finger, pressing up, against the warm walls of Harry’s body.  
  
Harry hissed a little, softly, an almost broken, wordy hiss as he slid one hand into his own hair at the feeling, sweat running from his hips to his neck, down the long, long road of his spine.  
  
Letting up, Severus relaxed his finger again. "It’s alright."  
  
"I ... said it was good ... it was good ..." Harry rushed to whisper.  
  
"Ah-" Severus smiled, pleased. "Again then?"  
  
"Yesyesyesyesyes-" Harry begged. He looked over his shoulder at Severus, glasses fallen off, hair messed up, cheeks flushed crimson.  
  
Severus stiffened his finger again, pressing up, but using this as a device – adding pressure, and taking it away, slowly at first, until he was fingering Harry properly.   
  
Harry groaned and hissed again, softly, lips against his own shoulder, eyes half closed.  
  
"Hmm-" Severus groaned, hearing Harry fall into parseltongue, the lavish hisses in his excitement. "A little more Harry, and you can come again for me."   
  
"Y ... yeah I ... Oh ..." he gasped again, unknowingly lapsing into what might be his first language after all.  
  
Severus was sliding his finger in and out of Harry now, smoothly, with a slight curve to it, playing touch tag against the soft lining of Harry’s body, and the surrounding sensitive nerves. "Good boy Harry" he fisted the tie once more, the fabric tightened around his neck, and the hisses became more drawn out, thrilling for the dark wizard.  
  
Harry tightened sharply around him, his voice and his sloping, writhing body more and more lovely and snake-like as he bent back, rising back to Severus and then Harry gasped, his head dropping backwards sharply and came across the desk again, flooding the almost black, ancient wood under his body, shaking hard and almost unable to breathe.  
  
"Shhh- shhh-" Severus soothed, carefully withdrawing his finger, wrapping his arms around Harry, holding him tightly from behind.   
  
"Oh, oh ..." he sank back against Severus and turned, arms around the man, hugging him close while he shook violently, kissing his neck.  
  
Severus touched his hand to Harry’s warm forehead, "Are you alright?"  
  
"Yes-" he replied immediately, kissing Severus with a tenderness that bordered on timidity. He opened his eyes, looking at Severus close up, the only way the myopic hero really could look at anyone without his glasses on, he seemed completely speechless and still brightly flushed.  
  
Severus smiled a little, "You know, I have no idea what you said."   
  
"What? When?"  
  
"When you were speaking parseltongue."  
  
Harry gasped, "I ... during ... what?"  
  
"Just moments ago."  
  
He laughed and looked at Severus, now his entire visage red, "No ... no I didn't mean to I ... ohgods, really?" He laughed and dropped his head to Severus's shoulder.  
  
"Yes, you did Harry. It is alright." Severus seemed unconcerned, still holding Harry to him, "It was flattering, to be able to make you speak in tongues."   
  
Harry kissed his neck, "I haven't done that since second year ..."  
  
"Are you bothered by it?"  
  
He looked at Snape, still blushing, "Not really, you're alright with it?" He suspected Severus was more than alright with it and kissed his neck.  
  
Severus nodded, eyes closing slightly as Harry kissed him.   
  
"You don't know what I said?"  
  
"No. And I suspect you won’t tell me now, will you?"  
  
Harry just smiled, looking down, "Mmm." he hugged Severus again like a shy toddler.  
  
"In your own time." Severus kept his arms around Harry, remaining quiet for a time, before he sighed, "And now, one last thing Harry."   
  
"Mmm?" Harry looked up, blinking slowly, "what?"  
  
"It is time for you to dress and go eat lunch."  
  
"I can skip lunch ..." he smirked, kissing Severus again, "are you busy later tonight?"  
  
"I don’t want you to skip lunch. I want you to eat." 

Harry sighed, "Alright, alright ..." He kissed Severus again, shortly and stretched, setting about getting dressed slowly, languidly.  
  
Severus stood back just enough, watching Harry dress. "Are you in pain?"   
  
He smiled, proud of himself, "No, actually ... I feel great."  
  
"Good." Severus said gently.  
  
He put his shirt on, buttoning it, slipping socks and shoes on and then handing Severus his tie, stepping close, "You messed it up, I think you should help me re-do it ..."  
  
"Hm." Severus smirked, looping it around Harry’s neck, then down the front of his chest, evening it out before tying it off in a perfect knot. Pushing it up, tight against his throat, holding it again like a leash, bringing the Gryffindor’s head closer, kissing him.   
  
Harry groaned, "You're good at that ..." He kissed Severus again, tongues swirling.  
  
"You approve then?"  
  
Harry smirked, "I have very high standards that I don't expect ... anyone to meet."  
  
"Indeed." Severus kissed the young man again, devoted.   
  
Harry smiled and kissed him back, "Okay, I'll come back after dinner? I'm just going to do something with Ron for a while before."  
  
"Study?"   
  
Harry smiled mysteriously, "I won't lie to you but ..." he stroked Severus's cheek, "I don't want to answer that because it will spoil a surprise I have for you. You'll know Thursday."  
  
"Thursday." Severus eyed the boy, "A surprise, that involves the use of Ron? Should I be concerned?"  
  
"No," Harry shook his head, smiling, "You'll like it and Ron doesn't even know he's helping. I'll come back after dinner." He pulled away, grinning, walking to the door, "And no snooping or you'll wreck it."  
  
"Snooping?" Severus actually smiled.  
  
"Snooping. You're very good at it and if you really want to, you'll find out what I'm up to, I know that."  
  
"Hm. Very well Harry. I won't look into it, if that is what you wish."  
  
He kissed him again, "Good ... it'll be better that way, trust me." Harry winked and let himself out, almost skipping.


	6. Chapter 6

It was exceedingly difficult for Severus to restrain himself when it came to solving mysteries. He liked everything to be known to him, he liked to be prepared and to know what was going on around him. So when he promised not to look into Harry’s extracurricular activities, it wasn't easy. He wanted to know, and he wanted to know now. _Patience is a virtue my foot_. Severus grumbled, but he was patient. And he made sure to give Harry his space, and not look in upon him if it wasn't necessary or make excuses that it _was_ necessary. No, he obeyed. He kept his promise.   
  
Harry couldn't help grinning through potions on Thursday, in fact, everyone seemed a little more giddy, a little playful, even the Slytherins, and when the class was finally dismissed everyone leapt up with unusual energy and went running out of the room, save, again for Harry who sat there, trying hard to look glum.  
  
"Is someone giving away galleons in the corridors that I am not aware of?" Severus said dryly, cleaning up after class, and noting everyone’s peculiar behavior.   
  
"Almost ..." he smiled, "I'm really, really impressed that you didn't try to figure this out yet, you could have done it pretty easily." Harry stood, just BEAMING today, lit up from the inside.  
  
"I promised you I wouldn't, didn't I?" Severus looked to Harry in all honesty, "Did you expect me to behave otherwise?"  
  
Harry grinned widely, walking over to Severus and hugging him, "I wasn't sure ... you're a man of your word to me but ... you're not known for your patience, are you?"  
  
"I think I did rather well." There was just a hint of it, not in his tone, but his movements, the way he hugged Harry with one arm, that he hoped for the young Gryffindor’s approval.  
  
"You did very well," Harry kissed him, cupping his face, "sadly, I don't have much time right now ... due to the surprise- but after your last class I'll give it to you, alright?"  
  
"Very well."  
  
He half grinned, gazing at Severus, "Meet me out by the quidditch field, okay?" He seemed to watch Severus for some pre-imagined reaction.  
  
If anything, there was still caution. Nothing could break the spy of that. "After my last class." He confirmed   
  
Harry half laughed, delighted, "Okay, see you ..." He kissed him again and left quickly.  
  
Severus's next class, Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws seemed just as excitable, even though they were sixth years.  
  
"Stebbins, Summers, Summerby!" Severus felt the need to scold the Hufflepuffs, he never needed to before, "Merlin’s beard, explain yourselves!"  
  
The Hufflepuffs with yellow and black painted faces looked up, "Oh," they looked at one another, "sorry, Sir. Must be the game."  
  
"What game?"   
  
The entire room stared at the oblivious professor, "Um ... Sir, the ... the GAME."  
  
A Ravenclaw interjected calmly, "Please, Sir, since professor Umbridge was sacked, quidditch has been back on now, today's the first match of the year!"  
  
Severus fisted his hands, crossing his arms over his chest, he hated to seem ignorant. "A match, being held during classes? Not after?"  
  
She shook her head, "After the last class today ... "  
  
A boy piped up, "Hufflepuff vs Gryffindor!"  
  
The Hufflepuffs cheered, rowdy, "YEAHHHH!"  
  
"Settle." Severus said fairly, "Save yourselves for the match." _So it was a quidditch game._  
  
"We're going to beat Gryffindor! Finally! Bloody Potter's gone!"  
  
"I expect order in my classroom, or you will not be going." Severus snapped.   
  
They all shut up at once, but the Hufflepuffs were beaming almost as much as Harry had been.  
  
After a rather straining and tiresome class, Severus let his impatient students go. _Quidditch._ Snape was not impressed.  
  
It took mere seconds for his students to bolt from the classroom. Snape however cleaned up and locked his office and classroom, heading down to the quidditch pitch behind the other masses.   
  
"Psst ..." A voice hissed softly as Snape passed part of the stands.  
  
Severus attempted to ease himself away from the pushing and shoving, looking around for who was calling for him, assuming it was Harry, but not seeing him among the others.  
  
Harry smiled from behind a wooden pillar, dressed in his usual school uniform, "You forgot it was game day, didn't you?"  
  
"I had no reason to believe otherwise. You arranged this, I assume?"  
  
"I ... uh ... well ..." he shrugged, "not important. Anyway ..." he smiled, "you have a choice ..."  
  
"Oh?"   
  
"Would you rather see me play in the game or ... do you want to go take advantage of a completely empty castle?" Harry smirked.  
  
Severus stepped aside a little more, behind the pillar as well, "Say that again?"  
  
Harry smiled, "Would you rather see me re-join the team and play again or would you like to go take advantage of having the castle completely, totally to ourselves?"  
  
"Harry-" Severus did not usually address the young man by his first name in public, "If you want to play, then play. I wouldn't want to be the cause for taking away that joy in your life, to simply to take advantage of something for myself."   
  
Harry smiled, stepping closer, taking his hand now that everyone was in their seats and the game was starting, "I have a lot of game left ... come on, I want to show you something."  
  
The odd couple turned their backs on the quidditch game, and Severus followed after Harry; both men, holding hands.

 

*               *               *

 

Harry was grinning, half running with Severus to the castle, shutting the door after them and leading him through the utterly abandoned castle, up flights of stairs, up and up and up until they came to the portrait door and Harry let go of Severus's hand, looking at the portrait and muttering, "Furnunculus ..."

The fat lady arched an eyebrow at Snape, "And what's he doing here?"

Harry sighed, rolling his eyes, "Escort, everyone else is at the game ..."

She tutted at Harry and opened, revealing the common room.

"Ah- the uncharted territory of a teen-aged Gryffindor."  
  
Harry turned, a definite smirk on his face, "Ever been in here before?"  
  
"No, I have not. Do you intend to give me a tour?"  
  
Harry nodded, "Where would my manners be if I didn't?" He sighed, clearing his throat, "This is the couch ... the fire ... the floor by the fire if you're interested in that ..." Harry led him closer.  
  
"So I see-" Severus stopped hiding it, he was smiling. It was strange on him, but it was due to the fact that he had absolutely no other thought on his mind, other then Harry.  
  
Harry stroked a hand down Severus's robes, down his chest, over his waist as he kissed Severus on his neck, sucking softly. "Or ..." he purred, "we could go to my room upstairs ..."  
  
"The grand tour Harry, I’d like to see it all."   
  
"You will," he kissed Severus on the lips again, solidly, once before he led him up the the stairs to the boys dorm, "I share a room with Ron, Neville, Seamus and Dean ... But-" he looked back at Severus, "they happen to be out right now. Hmm."  
  
"Yes, I guessed as much." Severus licked the corner of his lips as if he had something sweet, a little taste of Harry still there.  
  
Harry led him to the top of the stairs and opened the door, revealing the boys dorm, messy of course, just how anyone would expect it to look. A cacophony of red and gold, brooms, clothes. Harry's bed looked the least slept in, and Harry led him to it, leaving the door wide open, almost daring someone to find them.  
  
Severus touched everything he passed, the wood of the beds, the iron of the unused fireplace, the stain glass windows, the sheets – he took it all in, it was new to him, therefore enjoyable, therefore, worth remembering.   
  
Harry watched him, doing the same thing exactly, memorizing the way he looked at things, where his hand traveled. He backed to the bed and sat down, looking up at him, beaming. "You like it?"  
  
"It’s friendly" as Snape’s first reaction, he stood before Harry, looking at all the details that surround Harry, how he fit among them.   
  
Harry smiled up at him, "It's not bad, nice and warm usually ... want a fire?"  
  
"It’s warmer then the dungeons, I can tell you that." Severus ended the playful chit chat however, touching Harry’s shoulder, "This is indeed a surprise."   
  
"Glad you like it ..." Harry stared up at him, his mouth going dry as he put both hands on Severus's waist, "Kiss me ..."  
  
Snape’s knee hit the wood of the bed frame as he leaned closer, bending himself down, offering Harry a light kiss.  
  
Harry smiled, kissing Severus under the canopy of his bed, pulling him down over him carefully.  
  
"Mmm-" Severus smiled, his knees were pressed into the mattress on either side of Harry’s hips as he straddled the young man. His torso was stretched out, elbows also pressed into the Gryffindor colored blankets, just over Harry’s shoulder, hands gently pushing his hair around, touching his scalp. "Now that I’m here, you little deviant …"  
  
"Now that you're here ... there are a couple more ... surprises." He groaned, his thighs parting a little and he kissed him harder.  
  
"Mmm-" Severus hummed, conscious of not putting too much weight on Harry, "Explain."   
  
Harry blushed a little bit, "I ... um ... prepared ..." he kissed Severus again, undoing his own tie, then his shirt, undoing it slowly, pulling the fabric aside and then taking Severus's hand, putting it on his skin that now felt like cornstarch, even smoother and softer than usual, supremely silky.  
  
Severus was silenced by this. Because he didn't just touch Harry, he was petting him, very softly. He blinked. _Lovely_. He thought to himself.  
  
Harry smiled, leaning up and kissing him, encouraging his hand, "I took a bath in milk ..."  
  
Severus sat back, becoming fascinated by how his hands, _his_ hands touched Harry’s soft skin. Slowly, over the small lines that made up patterns of triangles, then faded away into absolute smoothness. "You’re beautiful."   
  
Harry laughed quietly, blushing, "No-" he murmured, "just ... soft-" he leaned up and kissed Severus, guiding his hands to his shirt, encouraging him to undress him.  
  
And he did, but with one hand. The other moved around the back of Harry’s neck, turning his head up, making the young man look at him, "It’s more then that." He worked his fingers over the buttons, until Harry’s shirt fell open.  
  
Harry swallowed, biting his lower lip, taking his now undone shirt off, revealing yards and yards more of his newly soft skin, white as the milk he soaked in. "You're biased," he murmured with a grin.  
  
"You think so?" Severus traced his fingers over Harry’s body like a paintbrush, not leaving any part of him untouched.   
  
Harry closed his eyes, "Mmm, I think outside of the classroom ... yes ..." his body rose under Snape's fingers and moaned quietly, "your hands are ... gorgeous."  
  
"Now who is biased."  
  
"I don't deny it ..." he moaned, guiding one of Severus's hands to his belt, kissing his lips.  
  
Scooting back, Severus straddled Harry’s knees, needing both hands now as he undid Harry’s belt, pulling his hips up slightly as he tugged the piece of leather off with a snap, tossing it to the floor.  
  
All of his skin was soft, but especially here, his skin felt almost like fine powder against Severus's fingers. Harry worked his trousers off until they were at the bottom of the bed, his boxers too. "Severus ..." he kissed him.  
  
"What would you like, Harry?"   
  
"I want to make you feel good," he murmured, wrapping a leg around Severus's leg, kissing his neck, "and your ... your hand again," he moaned, "inside me."  
  
"Hmm-" Severus lowered his head, back bending uncharacteristically as he flicked his tongue against Harry’s erection, looking up at him, his black hair falling to either side of his face like blinders, "Which would you prefer, first?"  
  
Harry gasped, "Your ... ohgods, Severus," his heel dug into the red and gold blanket, "I ... I ... both, at once, " he moaned. 

Severus licked down, nose pressed against Harry’s cock as his tongue lapped at Harry’s balls. "And do you have a scheme-" he licked his length again, "for achieving that?"   
  
"I ... oh... godsIwant .. I ... " he gasped, "please, your mouth ... I can't help it ... please." Harry begged, chest heaving up and down.  
  
Severus smiled, licking at the head of Harry’s cock, sucking on it softly as if it were a sweet to be savored. He turned his head further down, taking Harry into his mouth, tongue wrapped around him, strong, wet, and warm. Both hands however touched the inside of Harry’s thigh, parting him a little more.  
  
Harry spread his legs with a moan, "Oh, there, it's ... you're so good at ... so good-" he stared down at Severus, breathless as he coaxed Harry's already hard cock even harder.  
  
Severus groaned around the young man, pulling his mouth away for a moment, replacing it with his hand, keeping Harry lathered up with his saliva which he spread around, slowly stroking him. He lowered himself further on the bed and began to lick at Harry’s ass, biting with his strong lips at the equally strong flesh of his thighs.  
  
He almost yelled out, ass arching up higher off of the bed, thighs spread wide as Snape's tongue teased his entrance which Harry had taken time to prepare as well, still warm and slick inside, ready for him. He hadn't expected his tongue to find it first.  
  
"Oh- Harry-" Severus groaned rather breathlessly, realizing his tongue wasn't needed, so he pressed his finger in easily, sliding it in, twisting slowly like a screw.   
  
Harry moaned, arching, one hand going up against the headboard, shaking, the other in Severus's hair, "I ... can't stop thinking about ... you inside me ..."  
  
Severus continued to finger Harry slowly, with all that thinking that had been going on, he still needed Harry’s body to remember how to accept the intrusion. When satisfied, Severus took up Harry’s cock into his mouth once more, going down on him, a greedy tongue lashing against him.  
  
Harry GASPED, "Yes, yes, yes .." he writhed, lips parted, glasses on the floor now, his hair rumpled against the pillow, "ohSeverus ... beautiful, you're ... oh ..."  
  
Severus looked up at Harry, he punished the lie that the honorable Gryffindor told by fingering him harder, deeper.   
  
"Ahhh ..." Harry's free hand gripped the side of the table beside the bed, the sound dissolving into a hiss.  
  
Severus’s eyes rolled back into his head as he closed them. Feeling Harry pulse in his mouth as he screwed his finger into Harry’s body, slipping out quickly, only to push two in, slowly at first, not to force his way.   
  
He hissed again, slipping into parseltongue, thickly, writhing in pleasure. His toes curled tightly, fingers splaying.  
  
Sliding his fingers into Harry’s body, curled slightly up, pressing against the smooth skin, adding tolerable, exquisite pressure, Severus began to suck Harry off again with a groan, twisting his tongue around his cock, like a python around a branch.  
  
Harry thrashed a little and rose up a little off the bed, "Ahhh-" he cried out, "I ... SevI'm-" he couldn't stop it, the flood of heat and tension that shot through him and into Severus's mouth, sending Harry into orbit behind his closed eyes.  
  
Severus gurgled and groaned at what was given to him, he swallowed gratefully at the purity Harry offered him. Sucking and swallowing him clean. Though his fingers let up, he did not pull out.   
  
Harry moaned, shaking, "Oh ..." he gasped. "That was ... that was ... mmm ..."  
  
Severus pulled his mouth away, pressing a kiss to the flat of Harry’s stomach, "You are very good Harry."  
  
Harry stroked his hands through Severus's hair, adoring, shaking, "I ... you're ..." he leaned up, "let me kiss you ..."  
  
Severus sat up as well, "You will taste yourself." He warned.   
  
"Okay," if Severus could taste it, he could too. His lips brushed Snape's and he moaned.   
  
Severus kissed the younger man, reserved, almost protecting him from himself.   
  
"Severus ..." he murmured, softly.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
Harry looked a little nervous, "I have another ... surprise ..." he kissed Snape again.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
He reached over, taking something small from the bedside table, "I thought of this that day when you ... there are these muggle things that we could use if ... you wanted to-" he was blushing deeply, "We could use one if you wanted to ... use more than your fingers ..."  
  
Severus was kneeling now between Harry’s legs, he took up the condom Harry offered him, reading the instructions. "Hmm-" he thought about how to charm it so that it could withstand holding back dark magic. He was considering it. He looked up at Harry. Holding the wrapped condom up as he spoke, "You want me to?"   
  
Harry nodded eagerly, "Yes, YES-" He leaned forward, kissing Severus hard, passionately, he'd wanted it for ... it felt like YEARS now.  
  
"Here? In your bed?" _Was that special enough?_  
  
Harry nodded, his heart racing, "Please, yes, please ..." he slipped his hands into Severus's hair, "anywhere you want."  
  
"If you are sure Harry, then we need to start a fire in the fire place, else go down to the common room … I’ll need to burn it right away."  
  
Harry nodded, "I'm sure, I'm sure ... are you ... are you sure?" He swallowed, afraid he'd wrecked the mood completely.  
  
Severus kissed Harry again, reassuring the young man as he pulled himself away, off the bed, standing in the Gryffindor tower, Severus Snape, head of Slytherin began to undress.   
  
Harry stood too, kissing him, taking his wand from the table and pointing it at the fireplace, igniting it, then dropped his wand with a clatter.  
  
Snape’s heavy robes lay in a ring of black fabric around his feet, the man stood naked, with no shame. He could not change, who or what he was. He tore open the wrapper, and slid the condom onto his hard cock, rolling it down as far as it would go. Then casting a strengthening spell, adding magical properties to (hopefully) keep it from breaking under the pressure of dark magic. He sat on the edge of the bed, looking to Harry standing before him, a part of him screaming that he shouldn't do this at all. But the majority of him had ignored that voice for a long time.  
  
Harry couldn't take his eyes off of Severus, or what might ... what was probably going to happen. He stepped closer, "Severus ..." he kissed his lips, cupping Severus on the face with both hands, "I- " he kissed him again slowly, melting on the inside.  
  
"At your comfort Harry-" Severus began to lay back on the bed, holding the Gryffindor by the wrist, bringing him down, over his professor.   
  
Harry nodded, smiling a little as he straddled Severus, his toes already tingling and curling, "You're ... amazing, amazing ..." he leaned over, kissing him.  
  
"Mmm-" They kissed, Severus touching his hand to the side of Harry, cupping the smooth skin, stroking the small of his back with the tips of his fingers.   
  
Harry smiled, kissing Snape back, relaxing under Severus's touch, "This is ... lovely ..." he murmured, "perfect, Severus-" he smiled, not nervous at all now.   
  
Severus looked to his hand on Harry’s body, the more he was touching him, the more he second guessed himself. "Harry- I need you to do something for me." He tilted his head, back, looking to the headboard, the tall pieces of wood that made up the four poster bed.  
  
"What?" he asked quietly, smoothing his hands over Severus's chest and nuzzling his face.  
  
"Summon ropes, against the bed." Severus knew himself, he knew how he head reacted before, "I might need something to hang onto."  
  
Harry nodded, still kissing Snape as he conjured the ropes and bound him carefully, "Better?"  
  
"Thank you." Severus looked to Harry apologetically.  
  
Harry smiled, leaning down and kissing him, "It's okay," he purred, "you're afraid of hurting me?"  
  
"Yes."   
  
"I won't let you, don't worry ..." Harry kept kissing him slowly, distracting them both from the pressure of expectation with their tongues.  
  
Severus strained his neck up, kissing Harry with a returning hunger. His fingers wrapped around the ropes, just over his head, stretched out under Harry.  
  
"Mmm-" Harry groaned, brushing over Severus's bound hands with his own as he sat back against him, gasping as he felt Snape's still hard cock.  
  
Regardless if Harry chose to acknowledge it or not, he had a dangerous, once wild thing in his bed with him now. Severus was watching Harry, waiting to see what he would do next, what interests he would pursue.   
  
Harry continued kissing him, sucking at his lip, tongue brushing gently against the roof of Severus's mouth, he started to rock against him slowly, grinding the cleft of his smooth ass against Snape's sex.  
  
"Ah-" Severus gasped, shifting under Harry, knees slightly bending so that he could push back.  
  
Harry swallowed, reaching back to stroke his hands over his own ass, parting it slowly, trembling, "Is this okay?" His head dropped back a little as he continued to stroke Severus's hard on with his own flesh.  
  
"Yes Harry- yes."  
  
It became easier, one movement led to the next and soon Harry wasn't worried about getting everything so exactly right, so perfect, because his mind was crowded with the sound of Severus inhaling suddenly when he pushed back against him and finally felt the tip of his cock against his wet entrance, "Oh ..."  
  
"Harry-" Severus cried out through clenched teeth, his body wanting nothing more then to violate Harry. He fisted his ropes, needing Harry to slide down onto him more, or scratch the whole idea and get off.  
  
Harry swallowed and nodded, starting to push back against him now, gasping, his eyes wide and then shut as the swollen head of Snape's cock pushed past his tight band of muscle, "Ohhh-" The boy bent almost completely backwards, lithe and almost serpentine.  
  
Similarly, Severus tipped his head back into the pillow, hair pooling in a black halo. "YES" Severus shouted, stretching Harry, feeling the delightful pressure of his young body around him, "Harry!" He moaned deeply, from the center of his chest.  
  
Harry shook, breathless and tight, warm around Snape, looking up again with half closed emerald eyes to groan at the expression on Severus's face. Harry's hands rested on Severus's chest, "Beautiful ..." he murmured, easing himself down an inch at a time and then all together, easier and luscious feeling after a certain point. He'd never felt so full, so ... held before.  
  
Severus’s chest and back tightened, his muscles twitched as he writhed, able to push up, then relax, finally. "Harry…" he cried out softly, turning his head, wiping the side of his face with his arm; wiping the sweat from his temple, or the tear, or whatever it was.  
  
"Tell me ... how you want ... tell me how to make you ..." Harry moaned, working his body very slowly up and down Severus's cock.  
  
Snape was good with questions, answers, directions. "Lean forward Harry, so we can kiss, roll your hips, grind back against me, as much as you like."  
  
Harry nodded, leaning down to kiss him as he pushed his hips back and down, pushing the round, swollen head of Snape's cock up into his body with a gasp.  
  
"Good" Severus groaned, "So good" he kissed Harry as fully as he could.  
  
Harry kissed back, starting to pump his hips up and down over Severus slowly, building a tempo with a shaking moan, "Severus ..."  
  
Straining his head back again, the skin of Severus’s neck pulled tight as he swallowed, "Don’tstop … … … please."  
  
"I won't ... I won't-" he kept riding Severus steadily, his thighs flexing, milk-soft against Snape's skin, "this is ... so ... youfeelsogood ..."  
  
Snape’s hips snapped under Harry, once, twice, one last time before Severus groaned, fisting his own hair, stopping himself from slamming into Harry’s body again. "Harry-!" he groaned, breath short, hard.  
  
"Yes!!!" Harry moaned, thighs tensing, his body CLINGING to Severus as he moved around him, "Please, love, come ..."  
  
Severus’s wrists pulled against his restraints violently, yelling now, angrily, because with Harry tightening around him he had no choice. His back arched against the bed, Severus was struggling to be free, and the tight hold Harry had upon him, he had only one way to go. Severus came hard, ankles pounding into the mattress of the bed, thrashing as he fisted the ropes, whimpering as his body shook, feeling like it would never end.   
  
Harry GASPED and cried out as he felt Severus explode under him, he just murmured over and over, soft, soothing, riding him out in long, slow circles until Harry laid down against Severus's chest, eyes closed, listening to the blur of his heartbeat.  
  
Snape’s heart raced erratic in his chest like some winged creature trying to take flight, trying to fly out of his chest. Small waves of aftershock caused his muscles to twitch as the moments passed. Severus’s eyes were closed, and he swallowed, trying to focus himself on what needed to be done next, "Burn it" his voice was raw, low, dark.  
  
Harry nodded, and moved off of Severus, using his wand to remove the condom and to send it into the open fireplace where it sizzled and died. Harry swallowed, laying down next to him carefully, "Are you alright?"  
  
Severus breathed deep, then let out a slow sigh. He nodded, opening his eyes, looking to Harry, wanting to apologize to him straight away. "Are you?"  
  
Harry nodded, shifting closer, "Can I ... hold you?"  
  
Severus nodded, "Untie me" he was quieter now.  
  
He reached up, untying Severus immediately, taking his hands and rubbing them slowly.  
  
Severus wrapped his arms around the young man, relieved. Holding Harry the way he imagined he might like it himself.  
  
Harry held Severus close, kissing his shoulder softly, stroking his back, "You make me happy," he murmured, shyly against Severus's neck.  
  
Severus pushed his fingers into Harry’s hair, against his scalp, holding him close, cherished. He shook his own head slightly in disbelief, "You are so good Harry." Good, in every sense of the word.   
  
He leaned up, kissing Severus's face, and pulling his gold and red blanket up around them both, "Too bad we can't just sleep here," he smiled, "stay in bed all day."  
  
Severus closed his eyes, tucking his head against Harry’s strong shoulder. "I should only stay a little while longer, then go."  
  
"We should go," he corrected.  
  
"Would if make you more comfortable to have your own blankets?" Snape was not one who normally liked to be corrected, but he seemed to accept this one, without blinking an eye. Then again, he didn't blink much anyway.  
  
"Maybe ... " he smiled, "I suppose we could steal these, they are mine after all."  
  
"Yes, they are."

 

*            *            *

 

Down in the dungeons, separate from the common room and dorms, was the Slytherin head of house’s personal chambers. And for once, Snape was actually there.   
  
Harry stepped in and took the invisibility cloak off, looking around with a grateful smile, "It's so ... you."  
  
Severus raised an eyebrow at the comment, the fireplace lit itself upon entering, and candlelight lightly flickered on as they stepped deeper into his chambers. It was one large, open space. A couch, a sitting chair, a fireplace, a table, a kitchen area, a bed, a wardrobe, the only separate room was a closed door leading to the bathroom. There was nothing personal to the room, no art on the walls, no pictures of friends or family. No awards like in Dumbledore's office or flares of color. There was nothing outright personal, nothing of any real value to the man. What Snape valued the most was safely locked away in his mind.   
  
Harry set the cloak down on the back of a chair and looked around, "I like it" he faced Snape, "Mind you I'm completely biased."  
  
"Hm." Severus smirked slightly, going to his bed while reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small scarlet square of fabric, snapping his wrist, the square slowly became larger until Snape was airing out Harry’s blanket to it’s original size once more, laying it over his own deep purple bedding.   
  
Harry walked over to the bed with a smile, "Carry that around with you all the time?" he teased the outwardly unsentimental man. His arms went around Snape from behind, kissing his neck through his dark hair.  
  
Severus stood still, except for turning his head to one side, looking at Harry back over his shoulder. Black hair falling in thick strands over the side of his face and eyes.   
  
Harry sighed, humming happily and stroking Severus over his chest and stomach, "Hello."  
  
"Hello Harry." Snape almost had to remind himself to breathe, his chest rose and fell under his hand.  
  
Harry tilted his face up, holding Severus's eyes in a gaze before he kissed his lips.   
  
Gently, Severus traced his fingers down the side of Harry’s body as he turned, facing one another.  
  
Harry moaned quietly and wrapped his arms around Severus, stepping in closer and humming against his lips.  
  
"Mmm- come along Harry, lay down with me." Severus suggested, breathing lightly against Harry’s lips.  
  
Harry groaned and nodded, "Yes ..." he crawled onto Severus's bed.  
  
Kicking off his shoes, they hit a trunk that was tucked under the bed. Severus moved onto the bed as well, sitting up, his back against the headboard. One hand outstretched for Harry, encouraging him to come close, to lay against him.  
  
Harry kicked his own shoes off with a mischievous grin and crawled closer, straddling Severus's hips and kissing him hard, pressing his head back against the headboard.  
  
"Mmm-" Severus hummed, groaning into Harry’s mouth, tasting his goodness, despite any devious intent.   
  
His hands went up to Snape's face, cradling his jaw, a thumb stroking his cheek as they kissed.  
  
Severus slipped his hand around Harry’s back, just over the rise of his ass, lightly keeping the Gryffindor to himself.   
  
He moaned, "Mmm ... " a smile played on his lips and he looked up at him before he dipped his head down and kissed Severus on the neck.  
  
Severus obliged, turning his head slightly, eyes down, closed as Harry kissed him. He wondered if perhaps this was pity. But it seemed rather complex, and too devoted to be pity. No, it was something else. "I enjoy when you do that." He finally mentioned, his voice light, relaxed.  
  
Harry smiled, licking the warm spot behind Severus's ear, "I like it when I do this too ..."  
  
It was like being able to put a large cat to sleep. Severus nodded, barely adjusting his arms, holding Harry closer.  
  
He slipped his hands into Severus's hair, holding it back, "I love your neck..."  
  
"Why?" Severus said quietly, leaning into Harry’s hands  
  
Harry swallowed, "The way you breathe when I kiss it."  
  
Self-consciously, Severus breathed again and slowly opened his eyes a little smile playing in the corner of his lips.   
  
Harry smiled, lowering his mouth a little and sucking, licking, kissing him devotedly.  
  
Severus laughed, which was little more then breathing out of his nose sharply, and his shoulders moving up and down a little, he simply did not know what to do with this constant affection Harry seemed always capable of expressing.   
  
"What?" Harry laughed, looking up a little, kissing his ear.  
  
"You are very good to me, and I don’t know what to do." He shrugged a shoulder slightly, the honesty exposing his social immaturity.  
  
"You don't have to do anything." Harry touched Severus's lips with his thumb, just touching the soft, darker skin there.  
  
And Severus just let him, not knowing any other way to respond. In a way, learning from the young Gryffindor as he watched him.  
  
Harry smiled, not an obvious smile, just a warming of his features as he watched Severus's face and then replaced his thumb with his lips again. Harry looked at Severus, "Are you alright?"  
  
"Yes, are you?"  
  
He nodded and smiled, laying beside Severus, pulling him down too, snuggling up to him, around him. "This is nicer than the couch."  
  
Snape liked his couch. But recently he had begun to learn the joys of a bed as well. His arm lay draped over Harry’s waist, the tips of his fingers just brushing the small of Harry’s back.   
  
"Mmm," Harry hummed, "I like that ..."  
  
So Severus didn’t stop. He turned his head up, cracking his neck as he rested his chin just over the top of Harry’s head.  
  
Harry reached up and stroked the back of his neck, "Oh, sounded painful."  
  
"Relieves the tension."  
  
"I know something else that relieves tension," Harry joked.  
  
Severus was slightly amused by this, but it faded. Sex apparently made him more tense, he couldn't relax, not really, not give up his well crafted control. "Can you sleep?" he suggested.  
  
"I can, mhmm," he kissed Severus again, "you?"  
  
"No. So sleep."  
  
"Do you ever sleep when I sleep?"  
  
"Only the one time."  
  
"Why don't you sleep? I'd wake you if something happened."  
  
"I can’t. I like to make sure your mind is clear periodically."   
  
He grinned, "You check on what I'm dreaming?"  
  
"I wouldn't put it that way, but yes."  
  
"So ... what do I usually dream about?" Harry asked, taking his glasses off and relaxing against Severus.  
  
"You've had some flying dreams. No broom, just flying … dreams with, your godfather … your parents. And I seem to make an appearance every now and again as well."   
  
Harry smiled brilliantly, "You should tell me about them when I wake up, I always-" he yawned, "forget ..."  
  
Severus nodded slightly, still rubbing Harry’s back. _Sleep_. "Sleep."  
  
"Mhmm." Harry closed his eyes, obeying Severus.

 

*            *            *

 

It was Friday afternoon, and while normally Harry and professor Snape would take lunch in Snape’s office, this time they were walking up to the Headmaster’s office. Severus had been stressed over this conversation all week. It was going to be awkward, but it was necessary. Severus sighed, he just hoped that he wouldn't have to fight both Harry and Albus about it.  
  
Harry looked back, worried and said the password to the headmaster's office, "Fizzing Whizzbees ..."  
  
Keeping one hand on the wing of the stone griffin, the spiral staircase began to move and Severus only let go when it stopped. Knocking on the headmaster’s door. He swallowed. _Breathe._

It swung open and Albus looked up, hands clasped on his desk, smiling, "Ah, Severus, Harry, come in ..."  
  
Severus stepped in first, but waited for Harry to enter, closing the door after them both. "Good afternoon, sir."  
  
Harry followed him in, nodding, "Headmaster."

Albus grinned and gestured to the two chairs in front of his desk, "Please, sit, have either of you had lunch yet?" Harry shook his head, sitting down, quiet and nervous.  
  
"No sir, not yet." Severus sat as well. At least he wasn't sitting on the edge of his seat as he used to do when he was a first or second year, over anxious.  
  
"Sandwiches and cookies?" Albus offered, conjuring a large plate of both and tea at the same time, the way the men took it. "It's hard to concentrate on an empty stomach."  
  
Severus waited to see if Harry would eat anything, glancing to the young Gryffindor, then back to Albus, "Thank you sir." Though he didn't accept anything to eat right away.  
  
Harry took a cookie, breaking off and eating small pieces, obviously tense. Albus did the same, but without the nerves, "What brings you in today? Not that I mind seeing the two of you together so amicably."  
  
 _Well …_ Severus licked his lips briefly before he just jumped into it, "Some options need to be discussed before I leave later this evening. It concerns Harry, and I believe he should at least be given the opportunity to have a say since it affects him."  
  
Harry swallowed, reminding himself to breathe and Dumbledore nodded, "That's very fair-minded of you Severus, what needs attention?"  
  
"For-" Severus sighed, _words Severus, just put the words together and be done with it_ , "For the weekend, Harry will be needing to stay with a witch or wizard equal to my magical ability or greater, while he sleeps."  
  
Harry coughed on his cookie, covering his mouth with his hand and Dumbledore paused, "I ... see. Harry has been staying with you in the evenings?" He looked between them.  
  
Harry piped up, "On his couch ... Voldemort leaves me alone if I'm there, I don't get the attacks."  
  
Dumbledore nodded and smiled. "I see," he beamed at Severus, "have you anyone in mind?"  
  
Severus looked down slightly, looking at the cookies, "The dark lord assumes that the only person able to block him is you, sir."  
  
Dumbledore nodded, thoughtful, "And if Harry is protected while you are obviously in Voldemort's presence, then he knows you're not behind it." He looked to Harry, "Well, Harry, have you any suggestions?"  
  
Harry swallowed forcing himself not to think of what he was really thinking.  _I hope it's enough to just be in the same room ..._ "I ... well if it helps Professor Snape ..."  
  
Dumbledore nodded, "I am not the only option of course, I understand why spending the night with your Headmaster might not be the most comfortable choice for a young man. Perhaps your godfather ..."  
  
Severus eyed Harry, thinking that it would only work if Harry was (literally) between Black and Lupin, and getting between them on any level just didn't seem like a good idea.  
  
Harry shrugged, "That would be fine, too, really, whatever's the easiest ..."  
  
Severus swallowed, despite their new reconciliation on some level, Severus rationally spoke out against Sirius as a choice, "While Black might be a more familiar choice, I must bring up the fact that he’s spent twelve years of his life in a prison, and would not be up to the same magical proficiency as myself, unless he were joined by another wizard. So, Harry … you must decide if that is something you want. As, you will likely need to explain to Mr Black and Mr Lupin, why it is necessary to sleep between them."   
  
Harry coughed again, into his hands for quite a long time, "Dumbledore's fine."  
  
Dumbledore was grinning like an old lady who just heard the best gossip of the year. "Very well, Harry, after your day is over, meet me here. I can set up a small bed for you in the meantime."  
  
 _Great_. Severus breathed out, it felt like the first time all day. He only now took up the cup of tea, hands steady enough to do so.  
  
Harry took a sandwich, relaxing too, while Dumbledore wouldn't stop grinning, "Severus, when do you leave?"  
  
"Tonight, after dinner."  
  
Harry swallowed, looking down and Dumbledore nodded, "Very well, Harry, not to worry, I will ensure you have something comfortable."  
  
"Thank you for doing this sir." Severus said honestly (not that he wasn't always honest with Dumbledore). If there had been even the slightest suspicion upon Severus, it would not be disbanded.   
  
"Thank Harry, he'll have to suffer through an old man's snoring."  
  
Severus turned his head slightly to Harry, he would thank him later. "That’s what silencing spells are for." He attempted with some humor  
  
Dumbledore laughed, "Very well," he stood, "if you'll excuse me, I'll start making the necessary preparations. See you later, Harry." Harry nodded, standing, having finished his sandwich, "Thanks, later then."  
  
Severus put down his tea cup, nodding to Dumbledore as he stood, smiling a little in thanks. Then followed Harry out, leaving the headmaster to his business.   
  
Harry walked down the lowering stairs, then whispered, "You really have to go tonight?"  
  
"Yes Harry." Severus said gently, sharing similar disappointment.  
  
He sighed, nodding, careful not to touch Severus in the hallway, "Can we say goodbye in your office?" he murmured.  
  
"Yes, I'd like that."  
  
Harry followed him, not having to try so hard now not to look happy.  
  
Opening the door to his office, Severus allowed Harry in first, then followed, closing and locking them in together. "You should know Harry, I don’t say good byes. But I would like to enjoy your company a little more, for the time being." While they could.  
  
Harry swallowed and walked to Severus with determination in his eyes before he grabbed him by the shoulders and kissed him full on the mouth, hard, passionate. _Like you're going off to war._  
  
Because he was. Severus was always fighting. Personal wars, or those with causes. Since Voldemort’s return in the graveyard that night, Severus had been at war, the rest of the wizarding world had as of yet to catch on. They kissed, Severus raised his hands instinctively in surprise of the force of Harry’s kiss, he gently touched the young man’s chest, filling the space between their bodies.  
  
Harry held Severus close, his arms were the only reason Snape wasn't knocked down, and Harry's hand slipped into his hair, familiarly as their tongues tangled and held together between their lips.

Severus groaned sweetly into Harry’s mouth, eyelids closed lightly, feeling the power Harry had move over him like a breeze.   
  
Harry stepped into Severus's body, leg slipping between Snape's, lowering him down on his own desk.  
  
Butterflies sprang up into Snape’s stomach, making his thighs tingle. He fisted Harry’s shoulder for support as he was laid back. "MMM!" he whimpered, needing anything Harry would willingly give.  
  
"Severus," he murmured, close up, "I love you."  
  
Severus tightened his hold. _No. Not me_. "Harry-" he tried to warn against the idea.  
  
Harry looked down at him, "Don't say it back. Just know it."  
  
 _Not me_.  
  
Harry kissed Severus again, deeply but gently, pressing his lips and the idea into him.  
  
Fingers flexed against Harry’s shoulder where Severus hung on, arms hooked over the Gryffindor’s solid back, fingertips lightly stroking the line of Harry’s neck, up to the back of his skull.  
  
Harry reached down, taking a handful of Severus's robes and started to pull them up.  
  
Snape’s hips arched off the table as Harry pushed his robes up, his stomach tightened and fluttered all at once, he groaned as the fabric rubbed against his swollen cock, very turned on by Harry’s recent display.   
  
Harry pushed Severus's robes up quickly, hands skimming his bare thighs, fingers hooking under his boxers and pulling them down slowly, moaning into Severus's mouth as they hit the floor and Harry felt Snape's cock push against his own stomach. "Want you ..."  
  
The Slytherin head of house only nodded his consent, beginning to fist the back of Harry’s head, the young man’s dark messy hair between his fingers. His toes curled in his boots, reacting well to Harry and his show of need and dominance, his confidence that this was what they both needed.  
  
Harry groaned again, undoing his own pants, letting his sex push out as he lowered them just enough. His hands went to the backs of Severus's thighs, parting them as he pushed himself against his professor's ass cheeks.  
  
Drawing his knees up slightly, pressing them into Harry’s side, balanced on his hips, Severus spread himself with a wanting moan. "Harry-" his head tipped back as his body arched against the top of his desk, fingers curling now around the edge of the dark wood, holding on.   
  
"Want me?" Harry groaned, using his hands now to spread Severus, letting himself brush against his entrance.  
  
"Need you." Severus said breathlessly as he corrected the Gryffindor.  
  
Harry groaned again, parting him further and then pushing himself in slowly, gasping, "Oh ... ohhh- ohgods ..."  
  
It was raw, and just forceful enough to be what Severus needed. "Harry-" he breathed, "Harry-" he said again, not being able to get past the young man’s name. His legs twisted behind Harry’s back, crossing at the ankles, grinding himself up against Harry, welcoming him in.  
  
"Yes ..." he groaned, "... fuck, you're ... goodperfect-" he pushed in again, again, building a rhythm.  
  
Severus reached one hand up to his own temple, fingers light, almost trembling as he pushed his fingers through his own hair, pulling his head back against the table as he groaned and writhed under Harry. "Please … more."  
  
"Yes ..." His voice shook and he gripped Severus's hips, starting to thrust inside him harder.  
  
Severus’s thighs tightened around Harry again, back arching off the desk as he reached down and grabbed himself, not stroking just grabbed the base of his own cock with a gasp. "Harry-!" his stomach hardened further, "YES … PLEASE!"  
  
"Harder? Want me harder?" Harry almost growled.  
  
Professor Snape however was long lost from speaking anymore. His first arm was now bent back behind him, holding onto the edge of the desk behind his head, holding on as Harry thrust into him. He squeezed around Harry’s penetrating cock, while two fingers were pressed up against the underside of his balls, pulling them up out of the way, holding onto the base of his throbbing cock, precum already making the flat of his stomach silky wet.   
  
Harry hissed and leaned down further, gripping Severus by the shoulder with one hand, using it to pull his body down as he hammered up, hard and fast now, the desk shifting under them, parchments and books falling to the floor.  
  
Severus just cried out, close to a scream, eyes tightly closed as he came all over himself, slick and black. But it was such a relief to be free of. His thighs and fingers twitched uncontrollably as the aftershocks of his powerful orgasm rocked his body, well after it was over.  
  
Harry moaned hard and came inside him, thrashing against Severus, hissing loudly as he exploded inside Snape's body.  
  
Severus whimpered very quietly as Harry spilled himself into his dark lover, his corrupted body, barely knowing how to absorb the goodness Harry offered.   
  
"Oh ..." he moaned, riding it out, "Ohhh- Severus ... Sev, Sev ... love ..."  
  
Severus lay still finally, body remaining tight around Harry. His arm was crossed over his closed eyes, lips open as he focused himself, just breathing.  
  
He kissed the side of Severus's face, laying against him, "You alright?"  
  
Severus nodded, pulling his arm off his face and hooked it around the back of Harry’s neck, kissing the Gryffindor. It was strange, it was thankful, adoring, and still a little needy.  
  
Harry felt the difference too and hummed as he kissed him back the same way, laying his body over Severus's.   
  
Not wanting to ruin the moment by talking, Severus just kissed Harry until his already sore jaw protested enough to make him gasp, his arms around Harry, keeping him close, sensing his strength.   
  
"You're ... so amazing."  
  
 _No. Not me_. Severus closed his eyes, pushing his face into Harry’s neck, lips just brushing the skin in place of being able to kiss.

 

*            *            *

 

Severus Snape was wrapped in a heavy blanket, sitting on the floor before his fireplace, freezing. It was late Sunday night, and no amount of heating spells could warm the chill that had settled in his bones. The footprints he had made in the thick blanket of snow across Hogwarts grounds just an hour ago were now lost to the snow storm that howled outside. Despite anything personal, tomorrow was still a school day, and he would meet it with his usual hardness.   
  
There was a tapping on his office window, just a soft, quick rapping.  
  
Severus lifted his head from his crossed arms, serving as a pillow, hooked around his knees, he looked to the window, guessed it was an owl, and cast a spell for it to open, not moving further from the fire.  
  
Harry made a little hooting noise, hovering on his broomstick outside the window, bundled up. "Thought I saw you come back!"  
  
"What are you doing outside?" Severus half scolded, "It is late and freezing."  
  
Harry just grinned, "Wanted to surprise you ... you COULD invite me in you know ..."  
  
"Get inside Harry."  
  
Harry smiled and climbed in the window, half falling inside, pulling his broom in after him.  
  
As soon as Harry was in, Snape charmed the window closed and sealed it once more. "So-" he attempted lamely, "how was your sleepover?"  
  
Harry laughed, "It was alright, actually. Dumbledore snores like a dragon!" He stood upright and pulled off his hat, smiling, "How was yours?"  
  
"The less said, the better. No trouble I assume, no visions, no dreams?"   
  
"Not one, but it was less ..." he searched for the right word, "orgasmic."  
  
Severus raised an eyebrow, "I- did you expect different?"   
  
He laughed, "No, no, trust me if that happened uh ... NO!" Harry shuddered.  
  
Severus turned his attention back to the fire, making it rise up a little more just as a mug of tea floated from the kitchen, and into his hand which he had just poked out from under the blanket.   
  
Harry sighed, taking his jacket off and looking Severus over, worried, checking for injury.  
  
"Have a seat Harry. You’re making me nervous."   
  
Harry sat down next to Severus, as close as he could, "You'll never believe how fast all this snow piled up."  
  
"How fast?" Snape tried to carry on a casual conversation, when all he really cared about was being home.  
  
Harry slid his arms around Severus, rubbing his arms to warm him, "Two hours."  
  
"And you know this, because … you were outside all that time?"  
  
He grinned, "I like it, when I was at the Dursleys the only time I got to go outside was to shovel it."  
  
 _When I was …_ So Harry already disassociated himself from them. It might feel nice for the moment, just as nice as if Severus could say, _when I was a servant,_ but such untruths would come back and just be that much more painful to accept when Harry went back, when it wasn't all in the past as something to be forgotten. Not yet, a little while more. Should Harry survive. Should he one day be able to speak in past tense as well. Severus turned his head, and laid it in Harry’s lap, looking at the fire.  
  
Harry smirked warmly and started to stroke Severus's hair slowly, rubbing his hands against his scalp. "Glad you're back."  
  
Severus nodded slightly, "Thanks for the welcome home."  
  
"I watched for you all day ... did it work? He's convinced?"  
  
"He is convinced … that Dumbledore watches over you while you are at school, and that I have no authority of persuasion to sever such a connection."  
  
Harry smiled, "Perfect," he rubbed his fingers behind Snape's ear slowly, like he did to crookshanks, "Is there anything you want? Need?"  
  
"A few hours of rest. Will you stay?"  
  
"Of course, besides, Dumbledore just wants me to read stories to him before he falls asleep."  
  
"Does he really?" Severus asked, opening his eyes slightly, turning to look at Harry out of the corner of them.   
  
"Yeah, and he wears the stupidest hat, slippers, he has a teddy bear."  
  
"I think he’s entitled to his eccentricities."  
  
"I woke up for a second in the night and looked over and thought ... this, this guy in the furry blue footy pajamas with a bear is the only one Voldemort fears."  
  
"When you are the most powerful wizard alive, you can do what you want. Consider in contrast, the dark lord is afraid of darkness, he must always have lights around him."  
  
Harry smiled, "It was nice ... we had hot chocolate, marshmallows. Fawkes wasn't around though ..."  
  
"And did you talk about, common things?"  
  
"Yeah, we only talked about you a little" he smiled.  
  
"Well, my curiosity has been tapped Harry, what did you talk about?" Severus sighed, eyes closing as the warmth finally began to penetrate.  
  
"Mostly ... Tom Riddle, what he suspects happened to him, what Dumbledore is guessing might be going on ..." Harry sighed, "My head hurts just thinking about it" he leaned down, kissing Severus on the temple. "You hungry?"  
  
"No."  
  
Harry nodded, "Want a shower or a bath?"  
  
"No Harry."  
  
He sighed, "Okay, for my sake ... give me something to do to help you ..."  
  
"Just let me rest." Severus repeated.  
  
He nodded and snuggled him close, "Okay, promise. No more bugging you, get some sleep."  
  
"Thank you Harry." Snape couldn't really sleep, but he could at least close his eyes, and every so often, sigh heavily in attempts to relax.   
  
Harry started to rub Severus on the shoulders quietly, massaging the stiff muscles there.  
  
It was well over an hour of Severus resting his head in Harry’s lap by the fire, until the man was able to silence much of his active mind. "Harry-" he began quietly, eyes closed, knowing, even as he said the boys name, that he shouldn't say anything at all.  
  
"Mmmhmm?" he asked, petting Severus like a large, momentarily tamed black cat.  
  
"I have to ask something of you" Snape sighed, "you are the only one who will be able to help me." Merlin. He hated asking for help, and he would only say it once and never want to talk about it again, much less discuss it, or worse yet, argue about it. Severus stood with a slight grimace, but as always imposed iron control on himself as he walked over to his store cabinet, opening it after removing the privacy spells. He rubbed the center of his tight chest with the base of his wrist, it was tight and suffocating, reaching for a bottle he popped the stopper off the top and drank it down, tipping his head back so that it rolled down the back of his throat, so he didn't have to taste it. He swallowed it hard, and reached for another bottle, doing the same.  
  
Harry straightened as soon as Severus stood, watching him and standing, "What is it?"  
  
"It may feel like things are only now just beginning, with the return of the dark lord last year, but it is not. I predict just a few more years and it will actually all be over, finally, and truly." He was stalling, "When that happens, depending on how that happens … I’ll need you to make a decision, for me. And, it cannot be in your best interests in perhaps what _you_ want, it needs to be in _mine_ , and what _needs_ to be."  
  
Harry frowned, walking closer, "Severus ..." he swallowed, shaking his head, "what are you talking about?"  
  
"Don’t shake your head. I need you to listen to me and believe I know what I am talking about." No, he shouldn't have said anything at all, "Harry … when the time comes, I will need you to save me, or destroy me. Completely, one way or the other, it cannot be done half way in either case."  
  
The boy's face went completely blank for a moment and then his jaw set, "I'm not going to destroy you."  
  
"It was a mistake to ask you." Severus said coldly.  
  
"Severus!" Harry glared, catching his arm, "You're not listening to me, I said I'm not going to destroy you, but the other half of that is- that I will save you." Their eyes met, Harry's stubbornly green, focused intently on Severus's dark ones.  
  
"And my point, Harry, is that you cannot make that decision now. You must wait until the end to see what is _best_ , for me."  
  
"And would you be able to destroy me if you needed to? If I asked you to?"  
  
Severus paled even further, he knew what was coming. "Yes …" his voice broke, "I would, if I had to." He touched his fingers to his forehead and wiped his face as he gave himself time to compose, "But that won’t be necessary in your case."   
  
"How do you know that?" Harry took him by both shoulders, holding him up as much as he was holding him still, "You can't know what's coming, no one can."  
  
"I know enough." Once more, he couldn't say anything about it, should it become a self fulfilling prophecy, or happen even so because he did say something, it drove him mad some nights, and there were not enough drugs in the world for it.   
  
"You're shaking," Harry pulled him back towards the couch, sitting with him, cradling him against his chest, "I'll save you, alright? There won't be any need to destroy you."  
  
"Don’t make promises to me Harry-" he half gasped, rubbing the center of his chest again, why did it still hurt, "If you must say something, then say that you will do what is necessary when the time comes."  
  
Harry sighed, replacing Severus's rubbing hand with his own and finally nodding, "Alright, alright, when ... if the time comes, I'll do what's necessary."

**Author's Note:**

> co-authored. originally written for thestralskinphoenixtears


End file.
